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So my fiance left me what do I now?
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<blockquote data-quote="Merkuri" data-source="post: 5097594" data-attributes="member: 41321"><p>I think the "we can still be friends" comment usually means something more along the lines of, "please don't hate me".</p><p></p><p>I've been on the other side of this in the past. In college I had a relationship where we kept trying to change each other and I was finally fed up with him wanting me to be someone I was not. I liked being in a relationship, but I realized that I didn't like being in <em>this</em> relationship. I did not think he was a bad guy, but he just wasn't for me.</p><p></p><p>I tried the "let's just be friends" thing because I didn't want this to be a hostile breakup, but the first time we hung out as "friends" after the breakup he tried to re-initiate the relationship and I realized it just wasn't going to work. I felt like the biggest jerk in the world, but I decided he just didn't get that it was over and had to break it off again in an even colder fasion. I hated myself for doing it, but thought of it like ripping off a band-aid, and I think it was better for both of us in the long run, though it hurt like hell at the time.</p><p></p><p>Breaking up hurts, often for both people. I'm sure there's someone out there who's much better suited for you. You need someobdy who needs you back.</p><p></p><p>You may think she's a bitch for breaking up with you after you were engaged, but think of it this way: at least it didn't happen after you were already married. I would much rather have a breakup during the engagement than after (or *gasp* during) a wedding.</p><p></p><p>Not saying you need to start looking again immediately (it's probably best for you to try to put this relationship behind you first) but when you do start looking I recommend OK Cupid. I met my fiance there. We've been dating for over five years and will be married in May.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Merkuri, post: 5097594, member: 41321"] I think the "we can still be friends" comment usually means something more along the lines of, "please don't hate me". I've been on the other side of this in the past. In college I had a relationship where we kept trying to change each other and I was finally fed up with him wanting me to be someone I was not. I liked being in a relationship, but I realized that I didn't like being in [i]this[/i] relationship. I did not think he was a bad guy, but he just wasn't for me. I tried the "let's just be friends" thing because I didn't want this to be a hostile breakup, but the first time we hung out as "friends" after the breakup he tried to re-initiate the relationship and I realized it just wasn't going to work. I felt like the biggest jerk in the world, but I decided he just didn't get that it was over and had to break it off again in an even colder fasion. I hated myself for doing it, but thought of it like ripping off a band-aid, and I think it was better for both of us in the long run, though it hurt like hell at the time. Breaking up hurts, often for both people. I'm sure there's someone out there who's much better suited for you. You need someobdy who needs you back. You may think she's a bitch for breaking up with you after you were engaged, but think of it this way: at least it didn't happen after you were already married. I would much rather have a breakup during the engagement than after (or *gasp* during) a wedding. Not saying you need to start looking again immediately (it's probably best for you to try to put this relationship behind you first) but when you do start looking I recommend OK Cupid. I met my fiance there. We've been dating for over five years and will be married in May. [/QUOTE]
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