Upgrade your account to a Community Supporter account and remove most of the site ads.
Rocket your D&D 5E and Level Up: Advanced 5E games into space! Alpha Star Magazine Is Launching... Right Now!

Reply to thread

Message: <blockquote data-quote="CleverNickName" data-source="post: 5098858" data-attributes="member: 50987">I'm following this thread very closely, because over the Valentine's Day weekend my wife and I decided to separate after 8 years of marriage.  You might say that Sid and I are in the same boat here.Absolutely.  I think that my wife and I started saying this to each other for this exact reason.  It sucks that we haven't been able to find out how to be happy together, but neither one of us wants to be blamed for that.I wish someone would have tipped me off about the "bad dreams" thing...it totally caught me off guard.  On the nights that I actually manage to fall asleep, I am plagued with nightmares.  Nothing horrible, just reliving the same old arguments and counseling sessions over and over again.My therapist advised me to stop calling it "just friends," because that's just not true.  There's no way that we can be "just" friends anymore.  It gives everyone (ourselves included) the wrong impression of how we are feeling and where we are heading.That doesn't have to be a bad thing, I'm told.  Right now, I have lots of questions going through my mind, and this is an excellent opprotunity to redefine things in a way that helps make sense of them.  Instead of saying "we are just friends," I say "we used to be close."  It totally changed the way I look at things. It most likely means that she is hurting too, and is trying hard to make sense of it just like you are.  She might be feeling guilty about the whole deal, and wants you to do or say something to absolve her of some of that guilt.  She needs you to feel better, so that she can feel better.If you haven't done so already, you should talk to a professional about this stuff.  Your friends are very important in this process, but they are biased.  A counselor can listen to the situation as a neutral party, and see things that your friends and family might not be able to see.Your school probably has a grief counselor or therapist on staff that can meet with you once or twice over the month.  Or you could ask your doctor to refer you to a licensed therapist.  Try to get at least one session in before you leave for Japan; it will do wonders for your state of mind.Best wishes, mate.</blockquote>

Verification