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"....so we tossed the jerk out...."
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<blockquote data-quote="Teflon Billy" data-source="post: 2653280" data-attributes="member: 264"><p>I've posted this before, but it never really gets old...<img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>One of my players (well-thought-of RPG industry freelancer, the late <strong>Nigel Findley</strong>) asked if he could bring a friend from work to our weekly game. My near-instant response: "Certainly!" (more players cut from Nigel's cloth would add to the group immeasurably).</p><p></p><p>Due to circumstances beyond his control, Nigel was unable to attend or get ahold of his work-friend to tell him. So the guy shows up anyway. No problem so far.</p><p></p><p>We invite him in, get him a coffee, and let him play the character of a guy who had just recently left the group (A Were-tiger). The system was GURPS. This is where we join the story....</p><p></p><p><strong><u>Dramatis Personae</u></strong></p><ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Fraser: Playing a Human mercenary</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Ian: Playing a Human wizard</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Mike: playing an elf bard.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Myself: Playing the frustrated GM</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">El Creepo: Playing the Were-Tiger.</li> </ul><p></p><p><strong>Teflon Billy</strong>: Ok, so you guys are in the tavern where we ended last session, as you are sitting at the table...</p><p></p><p><strong>El Creepo</strong>: Is there a serving wench around?</p><p></p><p><strong>Teflon billy</strong>: Um, sure. "what would you like stranger?"</p><p></p><p><strong>El Creepo</strong>: I'd like your company for the evening. I am a very wealthy man.</p><p></p><p><strong>Fraser</strong>: Does that gnome who was here last week still want to sell us a potion?</p><p></p><p><strong>Teflon Billy</strong>: You don't see him aroun...</p><p></p><p><strong>El Creepo</strong>: What is her answer?</p><p></p><p><strong>Teflon Billy</strong>: Huh? Oh, she laughs and mentions that her husband, the hostler, would likely have a thing or two to say about that.</p><p></p><p><strong>El Creepo</strong>: Hrrmmm</p><p></p><p><strong>Mike</strong>: Ok, so what are we going to do about the head in the box we found? It claims it's the rightful ruler of Cros Mogmun right? Do we believe it?</p><p></p><p><strong>Ian</strong>: Well, I don't. But I think we should try and...</p><p></p><p><strong>El Creepo</strong>: Where did the serving wench go after we spoke?</p><p></p><p><strong>Teflon Billy</strong>: Upstairs, said she was calling it a night and thanked you for your patronage.</p><p></p><p><strong>Mike</strong>: I give her an extra gold piece and tell her "the pleasure was all mine" and give her a sly bardic wink.</p><p></p><p><strong>Fraser</strong>: Anyway, we should definitely get that gnome to...</p><p></p><p><strong>El Creepo</strong>: I'm heading upstairs.</p><p></p><p><strong>Teflon Billy</strong>: For what?</p><p></p><p><strong>El Creepo</strong>: How long does it take me to get up there?</p><p></p><p><strong>Teflon Billy</strong>: Not long, less than a minute, it's only a three story building.</p><p></p><p><strong>El Creepo</strong>: Can I use my tracking to find out where the wench went?</p><p></p><p><strong>Teflon Billy</strong>: (pause) okaaaaaay......(rolls some dice) she's in the third room on the third floor.</p><p></p><p><strong>El Creepo</strong>: I'm going there.</p><p></p><p><strong>Ian</strong> (puzzled) What's up?</p><p></p><p><strong>El Creepo</strong>: I'll knock on her door.</p><p></p><p><strong>Teflon Billy</strong>: She answers and asks "what do you want?"</p><p></p><p><strong>El Creepo</strong>: I push my way into her room and explain to her again that I want her for the night.</p><p></p><p><strong>Teflon Billy</strong>: (getting pretty fed with this guy already and we aren't 2 minutes into the game) Yeah, well...she explains <em>again</em> that she is a married woman, and while she is very flattered, she is simply <em>not interested</em>. Get me? </p><p></p><p><strong>El Creepo</strong>: Well, what she's <em>interested</em> in means very little to me. (gestures to his character sheet) Am I this strong without switching to my tiger-form? How do I make a roll to grab her?</p><p></p><p><strong>Teflon Billy</strong>: <em>What</em>?</p><p></p><p><strong>El Creepo</strong>I'm going to try and pin her down. Can I do that with one hand so that I have the other one free?</p><p></p><p>*Disbelief all around the table*</p><p></p><p><strong>Fraser</strong>: I'm rolling danger sense...</p><p></p><p><strong>Ian</strong>: I'm preparing a fireball starting now...</p><p></p><p><strong>Mike</strong>: I load a silver bolt into my hand crossbow...</p><p></p><p><strong>Teflon Billy</strong>: (rolls dice) Danger upstairs! Third Floor! Third Room!</p><p></p><p><strong>My Guys</strong>: a ton of babble translating as "we charge upstairs"</p><p></p><p><strong>El Creepo</strong>: Can they react like that? They don't know what's happening up here.</p><p></p><p><strong>Teflon Billy</strong>: You grapple the serving girl easily enough...she draws a knife from her bodice and makes a called shot stab to the vitals (rolls dice) well, she hit.</p><p></p><p><strong>El Creepo</strong>: Only silver can hurt me...</p><p></p><p><strong>Teflon Billy</strong>: No, silver damage doesn't regenerate, but you still take the wounds. In this case, 3 for her roll, tripled for impaling to the vitals is 9.</p><p></p><p><strong>El Creepo</strong>: Well, I'm still up. I guess I'll have to kill her...she should've just cooperated.</p><p></p><p><strong>Teflon Billy</strong>: *shakes head and grumbles* Make your roll.</p><p></p><p>*She is badly injured, but still up*</p><p></p><p><strong>Teflon Billy</strong>: Gentlemen, you arrive...</p><p></p><p><strong>El Creepo</strong>: That seemed awfully quick</p><p></p><p><strong>Fraser</strong>: Tough <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />!</p><p></p><p><strong>Ian</strong>: I unleash my fireball at him (El Creepo's character is burned for a lot of damage…added to the knife wound he is pretty banged up).</p><p></p><p><strong>Mike</strong>: I'll send a silver bolt into his torso (The damage is not huge, but is non-healable)</p><p></p><p><strong>El Creepo</strong>: What are you guys doing!!!????</p><p></p><p>*Silence + glares*</p><p></p><p><strong>Teflon Billy</strong>: You're up</p><p></p><p><strong>El Creepo</strong>: I jump out the window!</p><p></p><p><strong>Teflon Billy</strong>: Ok, make a jump roll (he fails) damage to both his legs breaks one, sprains the other and puts him unconscious.</p><p></p><p>*Silence*</p><p></p><p><strong>Teflon Billy</strong>: Well...<em>that</em> was fcuked up!</p><p></p><p>* A confused babble erupts where El Creepo claims that he was told we were mature and could handle mature themes*</p><p></p><p>Unbelievable to me to this day!</p><p></p><ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">We had never met this guy before</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">His first action upon meeting us was to try and roleplay out a rape scene</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">He started this basically as I said "you all meet in a tavern"</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">he was going to do this in the presence of someone he worked with!</li> </ul><p></p><p>It's one of the few times in my gaming life when I actually "hit the reset button", announcing that none of that had happened and calling the game for that week.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Teflon Billy, post: 2653280, member: 264"] I've posted this before, but it never really gets old...:) One of my players (well-thought-of RPG industry freelancer, the late [b]Nigel Findley[/b]) asked if he could bring a friend from work to our weekly game. My near-instant response: "Certainly!" (more players cut from Nigel's cloth would add to the group immeasurably). Due to circumstances beyond his control, Nigel was unable to attend or get ahold of his work-friend to tell him. So the guy shows up anyway. No problem so far. We invite him in, get him a coffee, and let him play the character of a guy who had just recently left the group (A Were-tiger). The system was GURPS. This is where we join the story.... [b][u]Dramatis Personae[/u][/b][u][/u] [list] [*]Fraser: Playing a Human mercenary [*]Ian: Playing a Human wizard [*]Mike: playing an elf bard. [*]Myself: Playing the frustrated GM [*]El Creepo: Playing the Were-Tiger. [/list] [b]Teflon Billy[/b]: Ok, so you guys are in the tavern where we ended last session, as you are sitting at the table... [b]El Creepo[/b]: Is there a serving wench around? [b]Teflon billy[/b]: Um, sure. "what would you like stranger?" [b]El Creepo[/b]: I'd like your company for the evening. I am a very wealthy man. [b]Fraser[/b]: Does that gnome who was here last week still want to sell us a potion? [b]Teflon Billy[/b]: You don't see him aroun... [b]El Creepo[/b]: What is her answer? [b]Teflon Billy[/b]: Huh? Oh, she laughs and mentions that her husband, the hostler, would likely have a thing or two to say about that. [b]El Creepo[/b]: Hrrmmm [b]Mike[/b]: Ok, so what are we going to do about the head in the box we found? It claims it's the rightful ruler of Cros Mogmun right? Do we believe it? [b]Ian[/b]: Well, I don't. But I think we should try and... [b]El Creepo[/b]: Where did the serving wench go after we spoke? [b]Teflon Billy[/b]: Upstairs, said she was calling it a night and thanked you for your patronage. [b]Mike[/b]: I give her an extra gold piece and tell her "the pleasure was all mine" and give her a sly bardic wink. [b]Fraser[/b]: Anyway, we should definitely get that gnome to... [b]El Creepo[/b]: I'm heading upstairs. [b]Teflon Billy[/b]: For what? [b]El Creepo[/b]: How long does it take me to get up there? [b]Teflon Billy[/b]: Not long, less than a minute, it's only a three story building. [b]El Creepo[/b]: Can I use my tracking to find out where the wench went? [b]Teflon Billy[/b]: (pause) okaaaaaay......(rolls some dice) she's in the third room on the third floor. [b]El Creepo[/b]: I'm going there. [b]Ian[/b] (puzzled) What's up? [b]El Creepo[/b]: I'll knock on her door. [b]Teflon Billy[/b]: She answers and asks "what do you want?" [b]El Creepo[/b]: I push my way into her room and explain to her again that I want her for the night. [b]Teflon Billy[/b]: (getting pretty fed with this guy already and we aren't 2 minutes into the game) Yeah, well...she explains [i]again[/i] that she is a married woman, and while she is very flattered, she is simply [i]not interested[/i]. Get me? [b]El Creepo[/b]: Well, what she's [i]interested[/i] in means very little to me. (gestures to his character sheet) Am I this strong without switching to my tiger-form? How do I make a roll to grab her? [b]Teflon Billy[/b]: [i]What[/i]? [b]El Creepo[/b]I'm going to try and pin her down. Can I do that with one hand so that I have the other one free? *Disbelief all around the table* [b]Fraser[/b]: I'm rolling danger sense... [b]Ian[/b]: I'm preparing a fireball starting now... [b]Mike[/b]: I load a silver bolt into my hand crossbow... [b]Teflon Billy[/b]: (rolls dice) Danger upstairs! Third Floor! Third Room! [b]My Guys[/b]: a ton of babble translating as "we charge upstairs" [b]El Creepo[/b]: Can they react like that? They don't know what's happening up here. [b]Teflon Billy[/b]: You grapple the serving girl easily enough...she draws a knife from her bodice and makes a called shot stab to the vitals (rolls dice) well, she hit. [b]El Creepo[/b]: Only silver can hurt me... [b]Teflon Billy[/b]: No, silver damage doesn't regenerate, but you still take the wounds. In this case, 3 for her roll, tripled for impaling to the vitals is 9. [b]El Creepo[/b]: Well, I'm still up. I guess I'll have to kill her...she should've just cooperated. [b]Teflon Billy[/b]: *shakes head and grumbles* Make your roll. *She is badly injured, but still up* [b]Teflon Billy[/b]: Gentlemen, you arrive... [b]El Creepo[/b]: That seemed awfully quick [b]Fraser[/b]: Tough :):):):)! [b]Ian[/b]: I unleash my fireball at him (El Creepo's character is burned for a lot of damage…added to the knife wound he is pretty banged up). [b]Mike[/b]: I'll send a silver bolt into his torso (The damage is not huge, but is non-healable) [b]El Creepo[/b]: What are you guys doing!!!???? *Silence + glares* [b]Teflon Billy[/b]: You're up [b]El Creepo[/b]: I jump out the window! [b]Teflon Billy[/b]: Ok, make a jump roll (he fails) damage to both his legs breaks one, sprains the other and puts him unconscious. *Silence* [b]Teflon Billy[/b]: Well...[i]that[/i] was fcuked up! * A confused babble erupts where El Creepo claims that he was told we were mature and could handle mature themes* Unbelievable to me to this day! [list] [*]We had never met this guy before [*]His first action upon meeting us was to try and roleplay out a rape scene [*]He started this basically as I said "you all meet in a tavern" [*]he was going to do this in the presence of someone he worked with! [/list] It's one of the few times in my gaming life when I actually "hit the reset button", announcing that none of that had happened and calling the game for that week. [/QUOTE]
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