Special News Report!!!

Spoof

First Post
SPECIAL NEWS REPORT

Hello this is Alzem reporting for the Waterdeep morning news, wearing my burned pink tutu. There has been War. As of last night the three major powers in this land have gone to war. The great Eric Noah, our past leader, Morrus our current warlord, and the nefarious pirate only know as the Piratecat! No one knows why Eric started this conflict but the damage has been terrible, whole areas have been remade into the likeness of the respective rulers, the Main systems forums once a place or peace and prosperity have been decimated and are now ruled by Piratecat, who uses the bodies of the living to line his litter pan. Eric Noah had to find refuge in the old Hosted sites forum, hiding from the wrath of Morrus, while Morrus is only able to retain control of the old Meta forums and the main page, Piratecat holds sway over everything else.


This war started last night when the three were sitting down eating dinner when out of the blue Mr. Noah informed Morrus that his administration of his site was “Shoddy, and shameful. No better then a brothel located in Thay frequented by necromancers who practice necrophilia.” With this comment Morrus quickly struck back, trying to erase Eric from existence, but Eric knew the upstart might try such an obvious ploy so encoded his account to point to the messageboards and hundreds of innocent users were deleted without provocation. When this occurred Eric thought Morrus was done for, how could he ever survive the PR backlash of such an action. But Eric had never seen a man so suave before, using every once of his European charm Morrus was able to smooth over the inflamed passions of the offended people and quickly quell the uprising, those that would not be quiet were themselves quietly silenced…


Eric then decided to strike and to strike hard. He cracked the code to the main page and defaced Morrus’ hard work, calling him some horrible names, even having his grandmother close her ears so as to not have to admonish him. This sent Morrus reeling. How could he recover from this blow, surely his reign must topple here, but it was not to be. Morrus allowed Eric his hollow victory, and used the funds from his loyal followers to hire some of the best artists on the site to deface Eric in a horrible propaganda war, the images are to horrible to describe in this report. Needless to say the damage both to Eric’s credibility and his sex life was terrible undermined. This was then Eric had to run to his old friends for aid, his greatest ally being James Buick who was able to crate a powerful generator that is able to hide Eric in mazes of dungeons and towns, along with creating NPC’s and treasure to keep the from turning on him, while he tries to hide until he can build some support from his NPC’s and try once again to retake his old lands.


But this was not the end of the battle, for while these two battled for supremacy Piratecat launched his coup for power. He had copied all the financial information that people who did not use Paypal had sent to him to send to Morrus, after he had taken his “Handling fee.” He was able to use his fee along with pirating the accounts of the unsuspecting members and launched a denial of service attack on Morrus, who was quite unprepared for this. Morrus tried to fight back by sending unimaginable amounts of spam to Piratecat, but was once again outflanked by Piratecat who had set up a mail return server that bounced all incoming mail back to its source, so within a matter of hours Morrus no longer had access o his web page or email, he was fighting this new foe blind. But Morrus did not give up here, he sent a call out to rally the other moderators to come to his aid. They did what they could but had to decide what to sacrifice. While Piratecat continued to ravage and remake the messageboards in his image changing the icons and threads to mirror his likeness most of the moderators moved to the main page and after extensive work were able to restore access to Morrus, and the few that remained behind to battle the evil cat were either enslaved or lost in the raids.


This is the current state of the boards as we know it; it seems for now that most of the fighting has died down, the people are hoping that someone will save them from under the oppressive peg of the dreaded Piratecat!


Once again this is Alzem reporting for the Waterdeep morning news
 

log in or register to remove this ad

Remove ads

Top