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Spectator Commentary thread for Ceramic DM (Winter 2005)
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<blockquote data-quote="BSF" data-source="post: 2042827" data-attributes="member: 13098"><p><strong>Macbeth's Clown of God</strong></p><p></p><p>Macbeth, I liked this story. It is a good story. Speaking as a sometimes competitor in which you and I have both been nailed for spelling and grammar, I can say that you did a pretty good job with this one. But it could be a little better. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /> But really the impact of the story is not adversely affected. </p><p></p><p>There are a few things that kept ripping me out o fthe environment of the story. Rodion's mother drinking Southern Comfort was the first. Rodion addressing Dmitry as Comrade, but Dmirty using Sir seemed odd as well. I've never been to Russia, much less Moscow, so perhaps I am basing things too much off stereotypes and pop media? </p><p></p><p>Stylistically I like your voice on this story better than on many stories. For me, it flows better and is easier to read. I think Alsih2o was on target with the comment that it feels like a folk tale. You have a good cadence with this story. </p><p></p><p>I haven't looked at the pictures for this round. Actually I prefer not to look until after I have read the story. Then, if I didn't need the pictures to read the story, I know the author did a good job. I'm offline as I write this, so maybe I wil hav emore picture commentary later, but my gut reaction is that you did pretty good. </p><p></p><p>But really, I enjoyed the story and these are just nit-picky little details in comparison. You took a chance by using an established story as the basis, but I think it was a good risk to take. The story stands on it's own merits and it was a good story to read.</p><p></p><p>Thanks.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BSF, post: 2042827, member: 13098"] [b]Macbeth's Clown of God[/b] Macbeth, I liked this story. It is a good story. Speaking as a sometimes competitor in which you and I have both been nailed for spelling and grammar, I can say that you did a pretty good job with this one. But it could be a little better. :) But really the impact of the story is not adversely affected. There are a few things that kept ripping me out o fthe environment of the story. Rodion's mother drinking Southern Comfort was the first. Rodion addressing Dmitry as Comrade, but Dmirty using Sir seemed odd as well. I've never been to Russia, much less Moscow, so perhaps I am basing things too much off stereotypes and pop media? Stylistically I like your voice on this story better than on many stories. For me, it flows better and is easier to read. I think Alsih2o was on target with the comment that it feels like a folk tale. You have a good cadence with this story. I haven't looked at the pictures for this round. Actually I prefer not to look until after I have read the story. Then, if I didn't need the pictures to read the story, I know the author did a good job. I'm offline as I write this, so maybe I wil hav emore picture commentary later, but my gut reaction is that you did pretty good. But really, I enjoyed the story and these are just nit-picky little details in comparison. You took a chance by using an established story as the basis, but I think it was a good risk to take. The story stands on it's own merits and it was a good story to read. Thanks. [/QUOTE]
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