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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Ankh-Morpork Guard" data-source="post: 1839000" data-attributes="member: 10079">Chapter 34: An Excuse to Die“After Alderaan was destroyed, I did what most of us who were off planet did,” Jen said, looking out the viewport of the shuttle and into the blue of hyperspace, “I joined the Rebellion. But I wasn’t a fighter...I helped with more of the technical things. I was actually at the Battle of Endor aboard one of the smaller ships as part of a technical crew.”    Voort, sitting in the pilot’s seat of the shuttle, had a somewhat sullen look to his face, “I was on the ground at Endor. When things started turning bad, I ordered my unit off the ground and we pulled out with one of the retreating Victory Destroyers.”    There was a long, strangely uneasy silence between them. It had been about an hour in hyperspace so far, and the trip would only be another hour at most. They hadn’t left the cockpit for some reason, simply talking about the past. There was one question Jen had continually avoided, but she found herself unable to continue without asking it. Carefully, she said, “Do you...regret your time with the Empire?”    Voort looked to her a moment, studying her face and then slowly shook his head, “I should. Any decent human would considering the things I did...but somehow, I don’t. It was my job. My duty. I killed because it was my job to do so...” he trailed off, and then noticed a near horrified expression on Jen’s face, “I’m not heartless. Just because I don’t regret it, doesn’t mean I don’t remember it. I have a small datapad with the names of every one of my confirmed kills in it. Family, history, even a picture. One hundred and twenty eight of them. I believe that was the only way for me to keep my humanity...”    Jen’s expression seemed to soften, but she still looked worried and in a way, afraid. She chose her next words carefully, “You...had a wife?”    A smile tugged at the edges of Voort’s face, but he kept it under control, “Her name was Calina. The day she was killed by Sadrak...that was the day I realized that the Empire had truly fallen. My Emperor respected me...he treated me with dignity and did the same for my wife. But Sadrak...we’re all pawns and toys to him.”    A very surprised look was currently on Jen’s face, “Respect? Dignity? Are you sure we’re talking about the same Emperor here? That man was evil incarnate.”    “You say that like I’m not,” responded Voort flatly, looking out into hyperspace and closing his eyes, “I am not a good person. I never was. I’m not doing all of this out of any other reason beyond revenge. Don’t start thinking otherwise.”    Jen sighed and nodded, sitting back in her chair and also closing her eyes. Part of her had hoped that Voort was more...more...more human maybe. She wasn’t sure how to explain it. However there was still something there in him that she could see. He looked...tired. No, exhausted. But not from lack of sleep. More a general exhaustion about him than anything. After she started to feel like the silence was making her uneasy, she tried another topic, “So how do we plan to get clearance to land?”    “It shouldn’t be a problem,” Voort commented, opening his eyes again and checking the chrono, “They get a large amount of civilian traffic these days, so what’s one more?”    It made sense. Still, there were other things, “If he’s on Coruscant, wouldn’t he have been noticed by now?”    “Not if he’s n the lower levels,” Voort responded, shaking his head, “So much down there even the Empire stopped caring. Except for a few projects, of course. Don’t have any idea where most of them are, but I do remember where Isard ran her project.”    “Didn’t she escape Coruscant in a Super Star Destroyer not long after the New Republic took the planet?” Jen asked, obviously worried that what they were looking for wasn’t even on the planet anymore.    “She didn’t keep this project anywhere near the Lusankya,” Voort said, noting the chrono still indicated they had a good amount of time left, “It was too dangerous to keep the clones so close to all of those prisoners. The less everyone knew the better. She kept the cloning project in a small facility far below the city itself off in the industrial district.”    After that, they spoke little for the remainder of the trip. It was about half an hour later that the small shuttle was starting through the atmosphere of Coruscant. They’d gotten clearance to land on a platform near the center of the old Imperial Center section of the planet stretching city. That meant a long trip to the industrial district, but Voort didn’t seem to care. One thing he was having to count on was that the New Republic didn’t think he was stupid enough to actually go to their capital after escaping from one of their ships barely a day before. It was likely that the faces of Jen, Akan, and Voort were all over the place by now, but unlikely that the large amount of people on Coruscant would have seen them, or would care if they did. It was all a matter of avoiding security.    “Shouldn’t we wait for Akan and Shadow?” Jen asked after they’d set down and the ship had been powered down.    Voort had been ready to leave, but gave in to this. It was probably a good idea, “We’ll wait a day. They have the comm frequency for the shuttle. If they don’t contact us within a day, I’m going after Sadrak without them.”    The way he kept it as such a personal task to go after Sadrak no longer surprised Jen. What did surprise her, though, was her response to him, “If you go, I go.”    The expression on Voort’s face changed slightly, and he raised an eyebrow, “I thought you weren’t a fighter.”    “You’re right that Sadrak needs to be dealt with,” she admitted, shrugging as she spoke, “And besides, I’d like to know the man who plans to kill Akan after all of this.”    Voort’s expression again changed, this time to that old exhausted look, “That kid is the one who wants that to happen.”    “What do you mean?” asked Jen, not understanding what he had said. She hadn’t actually expected any response out of him in the first place.    The former Imperial gave her a serious look, “He reminds me a lot of myself when Calina died. Whether he realizes or not, I can see it in him. He’s looking for a way to die. An excuse to die.”    Biting her lip, Jen did her best to hold back what she’d been about to say. But why not? Akan hadn’t told her not to speak of it with anyone else. Besides, here was someone with a very similar past, and the fact that Voort had seen himself in Akan said even more. Carefully, Jen spoke, “He...he was very close to someone who was killed in the attack on Coruscant.”    Slowly, Voort turned back towards her, a curious expression crossing his face, “He was with the New Republic?”    She nodded, “From what he told me, at least. He’s got a deep...hatred for the Empire. Doesn’t speak about it, but its easy to see.”    Nodding, Voort said, “War has a habit of taking the ones we love the most.”    Jen opened her mouth to say something, but then decided against it. He was right. She’d lost her entire family on Alderaan and most of her friends. Akan had lost Mare. Voort had lost Calina. Shadow had lost...well, Jen wasn’t sure what Shadow had lost, but it was something they were most likely going to find out. A slow realization came over her, and she opened her mouth to speak again, “You...you’re not going to kill him, are you?”    This time, Voort did smile, but it wasn’t comforting at all, “No. I won’t.”    “Because you’re looking for an excuse to die,” Jen said, quoting the Imperial’s own words.    Again, Voort nodded, “But not until after I’ve killed Sadrak.”</blockquote>

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