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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Ankh-Morpork Guard" data-source="post: 1936576" data-attributes="member: 10079">Chapter 112: FamilyIf anyone had needed Shadow, she was, as Akan had later found, submerged in water. At first, she had cleaned the sand out of her tail fur and hair, but eventually decided that was far too much work. The water felt too good to have to work. So, Shadow sank down, leaving her nose just above the water for breathing. Sure, morphing gills was a possibility. But yet again, that took work. It was just easier to not drown the old fashioned way. It wasn’t long at all before she’d fallen asleep, and that was the state Akan had found her in. She had been so exhausted, both mentally and physically, that she didn’t even feel his mental prodding of a hint of his sneaking in.    But the sleep was not as refreshing as it could have been. As her sleep had been for the last weeks on this planet, it was disturbed by dreams. Dreams that were too real to be dreams, and yet at the same time, too fantastic to be anything but dreams. She saw things that Trade(the Alraxian term for Basic, though the two languages were not completely similar, which was the reason for Shadow’s trouble with sarcasm) had no words to describe. Even Alraxian had no words for them. Emotions didn’t exist in a very definable state, and most of her dreams were feelings and emotions personified. But there were some things she could pin down. Death. Fear. Much fear...who’s fear? Perhaps no one’s and everyone’s. The one true thing she ‘saw’ was Alraxia. The beautiful jungle-green planet orbited by its three moons. Two of which were the same green, the other an odd silver color. One by one, though, the planet and her moons were consumed by a deep red-orange flame. Starting on the opposite sides, and spreading across to meet in the center of her view. Only black remained.    And a voice. Distant...ethereal, and one of those voices that made a person wonder if they ever actually heard the voice in the first place, ‘You are the Fire.    The view of the planets expanded, until she could see all the worlds within the Alraxian Empire. One by one, they burned. Each brighter than the first. Each giving off a horrible feeling of pain as they burned. A thousand worlds dying before her eyes. And that voice...    ‘You are the Fire.’    One thing did not escape her view. The neighboring worlds. The large collection of planets bordering the ‘east’ of the Empire. Those worlds seemed to grow...change...they looked dead. Dead with small glowing candles riddling the surfaces. The lights simply grew more numerous, the planets slowly taking on a look that were only comparable to one other planet in the galaxy. Coruscant. But these were not Coruscant. These were the systems of the Mrrakesh. Upon mentally naming the planets, Shadow watched as the small lights an that unnatural color spread through the Alraxian worlds. Infecting them like a plague. Killing them after they’d already been burned...    ‘You are the Fire.’    Shadow had not awoken from that by rocketing up out of the water. Simply, her eyes opened as they did every time she woke up. Slowly. Tiredly. Lazily. For the first few minutes after she awoke, anyone seeing her would have had no idea of the dreams. She yawned and stretched with a distinctly feline back arch that made her back pop. After cringing at the noise and rubbing her back weakly. It hadn’t hurt, but that noise always got a whimper or similar reaction out of her. One day, Shadow swore she would break.    Without a thought on the dreams, Shadow climbed out of the bath, lazily said, “Drain bath”, and wandered over to her morphsuit which was dangling on a small bar next to the bath. After much complaining about the cold, Shadow quickly put the morphsuit on and just curled up on the bed for a while, enjoying the relative warmth. Yet she was still cold...not the kind of cold that was fatal to an Alraxian, but definitely uncomfortable. If only she’d had one of those damned little chips. A wonderful bio-technology created by her people. A small, almost mechanical looking chip that was placed carefully on the back of one’s neck. It would regulate body temperature and keep an Alraxian alive in much colder enviroments beyond the limited ability that morphsuits had to do this. They even worked for non-Alraxians on Alraxia, which usually found the planet far too humid and hot.    Finally almost comfortable again, Shadow got back up and wandered around the room. Finding a mirror, she busied herself with fixing her tail fur. One thing about water is that it always caused the fur to go frazzled. Not that Shadow cared how it looked, but it just plain felt itchy...and wrong...and...well, that was about it, really. And then she noticed something was wrong with that image. Shadow carefully examined herself in the mirror, noting the long scar across her face. Left alone too long...now permanent. But no, that had been there for so long, now. But there...there it was. She found what was wrong near that scar. In her eyes. The usual silvery-purple color was fading into...orange. Orange and red. Fire.    ‘You are the Fire.’    Shadow idly held her tail in one hand and looked at her image in the mirror. The Force was silent. Everything was silent...and yet...yet something felt wrong. That voice should have been gone. Dream or vision, they were supposed to stop and not bother her when she was awake. For a moment, Shadow nearly growled at the mirror. No, she wasn’t as bad as Akan. He would yell at a holodrama if he didn’t agree with it. So she just stared at the thing that was wrong with her eyes. Using a glare that could melt ice and turn the water into durasteel in a matter of seconds. But no. It stayed...in fact, it got worse. It almost looked as if there was an odd glow coming out from her. Shadow looked down at her hand not from the mirror. Nothing. But in the mirror...she was like a walking flame...    ‘You are the Fire.’    “Alright! Alright!!” Shadow suddenly yelled, kicking the wall and shaking the mirror, “I get the damned point!! Leave me alone!”    Silence.    Shadow waited for another few minutes just in case.    Still nothing. The image of her in the mirror was back to normal. Then she grinned proudly, a predatory look with those feline fangs, and said to her reflection, “That’s what I thought.”    Finally letting go of her tail and turning to wander out and find something to do, Shadow felt proud of herself. Then she reached the door and stopped dead in her tracks. Standing there in silence for a long moment, her ears swiveling around as if to make sure no one was around, she cursed in Alraxian suddenly. Stupid Akan had her talking to walls and air now!* * * *For the third time, Jen knocked at Akan’s door. She’d left Voort asleep after something odd had been nagging at her. It was what she’d once called instinct, and now knew as the Force. Or at least, intellectually knew as the Force. She still considered it odd and wasn’t always sure what to do. But this time...this time she just felt like she needed to go and speak with Akan. Whether for herself, or for him, she didn’t know. But that wasn’t going to do a damned thing if he never opened the door. It was locked, so he had to be in there. They didn’t have any access keys and they could only be locked from the inside.    Jen tried one more time, knocking fairly loudly this time. She waited only half a minute before sighing and looking at the small panel next to the door. Leaning against the door, Jen said, “Akan? You alive?”    Nothing. But she’d not expected anything. So even after finishing those words, Jen was already finding an alternative way in and not listening for an answer. Something...just told her to get in that room. It was an urgent push, and she didn’t have any reason to disbelieve that it was important. Which meant that she felt no guilt in pulling the cover off of the panel. Jen also felt no guilt in hot-wiring the door. Sure she was going to have to learn some new skills soon...and had been learning a lot on this planet. But the old technical knowledge always came in handy, and Jen was proud that she never forgot.    But when the door slid open, Jen’s mood changed from pride. It was obviously apparent why that need to get in there had been pushed on her by...by...whatever the hell made the galaxy what it was. The first things she noticed was the air of the room itself. She hadn’t even stepped inside, and felt like a heavy wall of...what was that? Thick something...she wasn’t experienced enough in empathetic uses of the Force to identify it as anything more than ‘bad’ or ‘negative’, but that was enough. Especially when she saw Akan. The first surprise was that Akan was human again. She’d expected to see a tail, darker skin, more muscles in places that humans simply didn’t have them, and at least a little more height to him...but no. Sitting down there on the floor, back to the bed was the boy who’d gotten her off of Endor months ago. No...not boy. He wasn’t a kid, no matter the age difference. Young man, at least, man at best. That didn’t matter right now. What did was the remainder of the situation her eyes took in.    Akan’s head was tilted down, looking at something that was resting in his lap. Jen knew the galaxy’s technology well enough to easily identify it as a datapad. In his right hand, was that old blaster pistol she remembered from all those months ago. Probably closer to half a standard year now, and it looked even more beat up than before. Jen knew Akan well enough to notice the slight shaking in his hand. It worried her even more than the fact that his lightsaber was not on that usual position in his belt, and she couldn’t see his left hand. Taking in the situation, Jen allowed herself a last deep breath before knowing that she had to do something and stealing herself to it.    After a few careful steps into the room, the door slid closed behind her. Akan didn’t seem to take any notice of her, and she wished for a moment that he was in his Alraxian body. At least then, she could tell if he was paying attention through the unconscious ear-twitches she’d gotten used to seeing. Kneeling down not far from him, she looked at his face. So he was awake. His eyes were open, staring down blankly at that datapad. Tears covered his face though he didn’t move. It was obvious to Jen what that datapad showed.    When she saw his right hand move slightly, Jen gave up on trying to figure things out. Waiting was probably going to make things worse. So, in a somewhat shaky voice from worry, she said, “Hey, Akan...its okay...”    She had actually meant to say more, expecting him to ignore her. But instead, at hearing his name, Akan had moved. Very slowly, looking up through that messy brown hair that got in the way of the right side of his face, Akan’s eyes searched for something. Jen knew what it was and wished she could provide it. She could at least get close. Allowing herself a soft smile, she reached down to put a hand on his(pulling the blaster to the ground carefully in the process), “You know...the rest of us were sane enough to immerse ourselves in water.”    Sadly, that didn’t get the effect Jen had wanted. Akan only stared at her, an almost glare appearing on his face. When he spoke, his voice was hoarse and tired, “What do you want?”    “To help a friend,” Jen said, moving closer to him and squeezing his hand gently.    Again, the wrong effect. Akan’s glare just intensified and he yanked his hand away from her and said coldly, “Voort’s not here.”    So he knew. No surprise, really, and it wasn’t a bad thing. But she hadn’t come here for that, and didn’t let his mood or words effect her. Still persisting, this time her hand rested on his knee, “I do know that...but you’re here.”    “And...?” his head had turned back to looking at that datapad, voice sounding distant like he wasn’t even paying all that much attention.    Jen was silent a moment, this time. She leaned a little closer to have a look at that image on the datapad. Quietly, she studied the two young pilots, noting the differences in Akan now. She couldn’t help a small smile, but spoke very softly as to not upset up, “I guess we’ve all lost good friends.”    Akan turned his head slightly to look at her, tried to speak but couldn’t find the words. He sighed heavily and looked back down at the datapad, speaking in a voice that revealed a lot about him. It was full of fear, very shaken, and sounded almost like a child telling their nightmare to a parent. Maybe that wasn’t so inaccurate, “That doesn’t bring them back.”    “No...” Jen shook her head slowly, feeling horrible that she had to be the one to do this. Yet...yet she knew someone had to, and somewhere in there, Akan trusted her, “No, it doesn’t bring them back.”    Again, silence. Jen simply watched Akan for this time, trying to think what to say next. She’d not thought this through, and it was obvious...though not a bad thing. It was impossible to plan for such things, especially when he was holding two weapons a little too close to himself and probably wasn’t all that mentally stable. But letting the silence last too long would only give him more time to dwell on those thoughts...so she tried just speaking some thoughts, “You know...I never thought about it until now, but have you looked at all of us? Two feline shapechangers, a former Imperial sniper with the ear of the Emperor himself, and a New Republic scientist who always avoided picking up a weapon,” Jen allowed herself a short laugh at that, noting the small hint of a smile creeping onto Akan’s face, “Its been so long since my family was killed on Alderaan. It feels like lifetime ago...perhaps it was. But you know...I think that for the first time since then, I feel like I have a family again. A strange one, yes...but...family none the less.”    That got the effect she’d wanted. Akan had turned away from the datapad and looked over to her. There was a surprised look on his face, which was odd considering the tears and general mess of his appearance at the moment. After a couple of minutes, Jen brought a hand up to rest on Akan’s cheek and said quietly, “Family looks out for each other. Family cares for each other. Shadow cares about you, Hansen cares...hell, even Voort cares in his own special way,” that got a smile on Akan’s face finally, which caused Jen to grin, “And I care. I always will. Don’t ever forget us. Any of us...” she sighed a moment, not sure if her next words should really be spoken at a time like this. But...if not now, when?    Instead of just speaking, though, Jen moved slightly. Leaning in, she surprised Akan by kissing him full on the lips. After holding it for a few moments, she pulled back and said quietly, “You’re going to have to learn to live with the fact that we count you as a friend and we care. And that...that at least some of us couldn’t bear to lose you...perhaps, if we’d never gone into that New Republic ship and broken out Voort...perhaps, I’d have fallen in love with you.”    And then Jen got to her feet. She walked over to the door, reached for the panel and stopped herself. Before leaving the room, Jen said quietly, “Would you put us through what you go through right now? Would you want me to be that way? Would you want Shadow to die...?” she paused, took a deep breath, and played the trump card, “What would Mare do?”    But Jen didn’t wait for an answer, she simply exited the room, leaving a very confused Akan to nearly confuse Shadow with the half-feeling seeping through the link from his uncontrolled mind. One day...one day he’d figure out what it was that made females of any species insane. Obviously, today was not going to be that day. Later, it was going to confuse him even more, and somehow, even without needing the Force, Akan knew this.</blockquote>

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