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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Ankh-Morpork Guard" data-source="post: 2080352" data-attributes="member: 10079">Chapter 167: Fourty Year Old TeenagersA few minutes later, Shadow escaped the cockpit to get to work and occupy herself. She gathered a few components together and hooked them together to the comm relay. It was a simple, yet primitive holoprojector that should be on the same frequency as the one on the ring. That way, they could actually stay here on the ship and wait to be contacted instead of having to go back and forth.    But once that was finished, she had nothing to do, and so wandered back to her quarters and sat...brooding. Thinking. If the Empire allowed her to return, Shadow would still be risking death. Assassinations for crimes that Nine committed. Crimes that she would be blamed for. Going back would mean that she and Akan would no doubt be arrested, keeping them both under constant watch, and restricting her abilities. Going back like this could make it even harder to find Ket and Nine, not to mention having to fight either of them.    If she didn’t go back...    No. No, that wasn’t an option. Though even if she went back, it would be under her mother’s direction. Shadow wouldn’t have free reign to choose what she felt was best, and though she could mention such things to her mother, it would be useless in the end. It was up to her mother whether or not Shadow was allowed to fight. Yet, it was expected of the Empress to fight, not of the Enai’la. Shadow could not fight Nine or Ket directly. Not unless...    There was a knock on the door. It didn’t surprise Shadow, and she sighed. The knock was too high up on the door to be Tobias. Without even a shred of enthusiasm in her voice, Shadow spoke at the still closed door, “What?”    “Mind if I come in...?” it was odd to hear Akan’s voice so...high up. The fact that it sounded deeper was something she’d given up on thinking about. Not feeling like getting up off of her comfortable spot sitting on the bed, Shadow did what Akan would call cheating.    Reaching out with the Force, Shadow found the switch and opened the door without even getting up. It slid open with a swish, Akan standing there looking surprised that she wasn’t anywhere near the door. But obviously noticing she wasn’t in the best of moods, he didn’t comment, instead just ducking to get in and stepping over to have a seat on the edge of the bed next to her.    She gave him a sideways look and repeated, “What?”    The look he was getting was close enough to a glare that Akan quickly went to staring at the floor. He shuffled his feet some, suddenly wishing he’d just left her alone like she had probably wanted. Then, realizing she was only getting more annoyed with the silence, he said quietly, “Its could be worse, you know.”    “How, Akan?! How could it possibly be worse?!” Shadow said angrily, though not actually raising her voice too much, “If we even get let in, we still can’t do anything! If I help mother, I’ll be killed! If I don’t, she’ll be killed!”    Whatever it was that Akan had originally been planning to say had been completely lost on him. He managed to look helpless before whimpering and mumbling, “I...I’m sorry.”    At hearing those words, the look became a real glare and Shadow yelled at him, “And what good does that do?! None!”    Akan glanced up towards the door, feeling even worse. She was right, though...it didn’t do any good. What good was he in this, anyway? None, at all. All he knew, she’d told him, and it obviously wasn’t enough. And to make things worse, he could feel Shadow’s tension and worry through the link. She probably didn’t even realize that it was driving him just as crazy as it was her.    Slowly, he shook his head, having worked himself up in thinking and just as angry as she was now, “Fine! Even when I try, you don’t care! Eventually you’re going to have to wake up and realize that you’re not in this alone anymore! I may not like it, but I have to suffer through all of this, too!!”    As she growled a curse at him, Akan got to his feet and stormed out of the room. Walking back towards his own quarters, Tobias appeared, tried to play, and got growled at. Having never heard anything like that from Akan before, the little jai shrieked in surprise and tore off the other direction in panic.    Finding his quarters, Akan made sure to lock the door and sat on his bed, ignoring the slightly warm patch of blankets where Tobias had been curled up. He sat there for a while in silence, fuming about things that didn’t even make sense. It really was like being a kid all over again, angry for no reason and then mad at himself because of it. It was impossibly unhelpful and made him feel even more out of control. But he would be calm. Akan knew that he was dangerous...at least, dangerous to himself. It had taken the loss of the Voorts for him to realize that. But in the end, he had learned. He wished Jen had been there so he could prove to her that he really had learned.    There was a pawing at the bottom of the door. Sighing, Akan said calmly, “No, Tobias, I don’t want to play.”    He heard a soft whimpering before more pawing.    “Tobias,” Akan said with a harder edge to his voice, “I said I don’t want to play.”    Another whimper, then quietly, “No want play...”    “What do you want, then?”    “Want sleep...” Tobias mumbled through the door, and Akan couldn’t help but wonder how much the little jai could sleep. It seemed like the child was lost in a cycle of bursts of energy then hours of sleep. But Tobias was still babbling on, “...just want sleep and...and everyone all locked away and it cold...cold and locked away...its not fair...and its cold...and...and...”    Akan rolled his eyes, giving and walking over to the door. He hit the switch to see the little black-furred Alraxian looking up to him with the most pathetic, big eyed ‘pay attention to me’ look. Leaning and scooping up the jai in his arms, Akan asked, “Is that it?”    Tobias sniffled and clung to Akan very slightly, looking up to him with an almost pleading look, “...and...and...bad dreams...”    “Awww, c’mon, little guy,” he carried Tobias over to the bed and dropped the jai down. As Toby padded around idly, Akan stretched and rested back on the bed. Deciding that sleep might be a good idea for helping his mind to calm down, Akan closed his eyes. In another moment, he felt a soft something against his forehead. Opening an eye, Akan saw Tobias was already asleep, curled up next to Akan’s head. He smiled and closed his eye again. Amazing how calming it was to have the jai around...    A few minutes later, the door slid open. Shadow stood there looking slightly surprised to find the two of them asleep. She had calmed down and had decided that apologizing was probably a good idea. That was more at the encouragement of Marix, who understood things like that and at least had the slight idea that both of them were a little bit more than just slightly...off lately. Just one more thing to add to the troubles, really.    But at seeing them asleep, she decided it could wait. Quietly, she told the lights to switch off, and then before stepping out of the room, said, “Goodnight.”</blockquote>

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