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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Krafus" data-source="post: 3534986" data-attributes="member: 27256">Thanks for the thorough answer, AMG. And, too thanks in advance for the stats. If you can't find them, an approximation of classes, levels and ability scores will be just fine. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />Now I understand a bit more about why Jyren and Mirax act the way they do... But all the same, all those issues they have, both individually and as a couple, makes it quite hard to empathize with them. And if one can't empathize with the protagonists, it's difficult to muster the enthusiasm to keep reading. That's the realization that leapt at me as I read your post - I like this story despite Jyren and Mirax and not because of them, which IMO is not as it should be. I've always viewed characters as the most important part of a story, and while your characterization is spot-on given your explanations about Jyren and Mirax, it also makes them rather difficult to like or just empathize with. It's only because of the quality of your writing that I kept going.As to their relationship, it also makes more sense with your post. You mention that one of your favourite parts in all this is the awkwardness of Jyren and Mirax falling in love. Well and good. But it starts becoming a problem when it feels like it's only awkwardness between them. Part of the problem is that the two short moments you mentioned aren't enough to compensate. After so many hints and innuendoes, so many struggles and lies and misunderstandings, after so much having happened (and after having read so many thousands of words), to only have an awkward moonlight kiss and a "fade to black" one-night stand as tangible proof of their feelings for each other is rather frustrating. It feels like being fed crumbs when one has spent days starved for a meal, like receiving a rusted iron medal when one has done an Olympic-level performance (in this case, slogging through the seemingly interminable awkward buildup of Jyren and Marix's relationship).I call this the "Lost" modus operandi - it seems that tv show's producers thought that they could hint and tease and never deliver anything substantial, and viewers would keep coming back. Instead, Lost has, well, lost a lot of viewers who got fed up with only being fed crumbs. I can still remember my disappointment at the end of the first season. "That's it? That's all? Sorry guys, you can feed me crumbs throughout the season, but I expect a full meal in the finale." I quit watching Lost then and there. I might have done the same with this story, though by then I was reading more for the plot and fighting scenes than for the characters. Still, a satisfying "reward" in the relationship department might have compensated for the characters getting regularly trounced in fights. And this leads me to my reply to Angcuru's post. No, I wouldn't want Jyren and Marix to be perfectly balanced and likeable and all that. The problem is that, for me at least, they come across as the exact opposite - characters who are ultimately inadequate at everything they undertake. I don't mind them being underdogs. I do mind them being inept underdogs whose defeat is practically a foregone conclusion. By page 10, I no longer wonder whether Marix and Jyren will be able to defeat difficult opponents - I wonder how long it will take them to lose, and what will happen to save them after they get their asses kicked.Also, I've thought about Alraxian society a little. The Alraxians seem to be, if you don't mind my saying, all but begging for conquest by the Mrrakesh. The more I think about it, the more I can't understand why they don't have more military forces, or at least more people trained in the arts of warfare. While the Alraxians seem be allied with other species against the Mrrakesh, alliances can change quickly, and the Alraxians could quickly find themselves isolated and alone againt their ancient foe. By the middle of page 10, Jyren and Marix are preparing to leave Alraxia - because now the Mrrakesh know where its location, and will want to kill Jyren and force Marix to marry their prince. Essentially, it seems the Mrrakesh can now do whatever they want to Alraxia, whenever they want. Given the Mrrakesh people's apparent disposition toward Alraxia, I can't help but think that conquest, or at least serious probes and battles, can't be far off. Loving peace is well and good, but considering that a single Mrrakesh is a match for three battle-trained Alraxians (maybe even more considering that one outfought Marix and Jyren), for the Alraxians to rely on alliances and the secrecy of their capital to defend them strikes me as quite foolish and short-sighted. And now that the Mrrakesh obviously know the location of Alraxia, their legitimate ruler is forced to flee in order to escape forced marriage and avoid the death of her consort as a perfectly predictable consequence of the Alraxians' (lack of) planning.Damn, I wrote a lot...</blockquote>

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