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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Ankh-Morpork Guard" data-source="post: 3685626" data-attributes="member: 10079">Chapter 501: Between Life and DeathMaster Ral didn’t regain consciousness until they’d gotten him to the Gemstone, and by then he was in one of the many medical wards that pocketed the Mon Calamari Cruiser. The medics only spent a short time with him, as he was relatively uninjured compared to some of the other patients, many of which were missing limbs or worse. Tobias did his best to just look forward and stay with his Master. Something about all the red coloured blood made him uneasy. Any blood, really, as Alraxians rarely bled at all anyway...but that red colour just made him feel sick.    The Omwati Jedi Master had bandages across his forehead and a bacta patch on his face where a amphistaff had cut him, not to mention a few others here and there, though the medics had said he was healing surprisingly fast and they couldn’t figure out why. Tobias knew why. Ral was a Jedi Master, and probably very good at healing, even if he was unconscious. He would, apparently, be fine and at most only have a few new scars.    “We’ll head back to Yavin IV as soon as they let me go,” the Jedi Master’s voice was strained and a bit raspy, but that was understandable.    Tobias, sitting next to the bed and tuning out the other noises all around them, couldn’t help but be surprised by what he did hear, “What...? Just like that? What about Tokarr? Or...or...”    The words just wouldn’t come out.    He couldn’t say anything about what had happened on the ship.    Master Ral leveled a calm look on Tobias, despite the bandages, “I believe it was...wrong of me to bring you here,” quickly, he raised a blue-skinned hand to stop the protest that was already escaping Tobias, “You can fight, you can defend yourself, and you can protect others...you proved all of that. I may disagree with some of your decisions, but you did what you thought was right in the short time you had, did you not?”    All that Tobias could do was nod.    “What you lack is experience. It is not your fault that you lack this, and some would say it is a good thing,” the Jedi Master let out a deep breath and shook his head, “I brought you into a situation you were not ready for. The choices we have to make when confronted with combat and saving lives are far more difficult, and far more important, than the simple tasks like floating rocks and reading thoughts. Much of the time, there is no right choice.”    That brought up something in Tobias’ mind. A question that had been floating around for the last few minutes but had finally materialized into something that he could understand. Before Master Ral could go on, Tobias cut in, “Master...I killed that human. He was about to kill me but he was still...still...he wasn’t Vong. I reacted and he was dead before I knew it. And...I...” Tobias sighed, the images coming back into his head and causing him to lose his voice for a moment, “How can I...how can anyone...kill people. How can you kill and call yourself a Jedi?”    Slowly, the Jedi Master began to smile. This worried Tobias for some reason, as did Master Ral’s quiet voice when he responded, “Toby, that is something that many Jedi never ask. Those that do are usually much older than you. It’s a good question.. We are protectors, guardians of peace, yet we always carry a weapon and are trained to use it. It is a contradiction that is a vital part of being a Jedi and something you have to learn to understand on your own. Lethal force, or any force for that matter, should be the last resort of a Jedi Knight, but that is a lofty goal that is unrealistic in the galaxy we live in.”    When Master Ral stopped speaking, Tobias just stared at him. He opened his mouth, then stopped, and his face started to shift to show a sudden annoyance, “That’s...that’s not an answer!”    The fact that Master Ral actually laughed quietly at that didn’t help, “No, it isn’t. Tobias, you must understand that the galaxy is not black and white. The Force is either light or dark, yes, but the rest of the galaxy is not. For that question, I do not have answer for you. However, maybe I was wrong,” he paused a moment to sit up straight and look Tobias in the eye, “I’m going to ask you something, Toby, and I want you to answer truthfully.”    That sounded worrying. But there was something else in that voice and in the Force that he couldn’t quite identify. There wasn’t much he could do but nod.    Seeing this, Master Ral asked, “Do you believe that you are ready to make choices about life and death?”    There was an answer already on the tip of his tongue, but Tobias didn’t speak it. He did as Master Ral had asked. Tobias closed his eyes and looked deep inside of himself for the answer. Pushing through the self-doubt and the egotistical thoughts that everyone had to find the truth. He took a long minute to do this, and when he opened his eyes, the answer he spoke was the same as the one he’d had before looking for it, “I’m not.”    “Do you believe you can learn how to make those choices?”    Again, Tobias took a moment to look for the answer, “Yes.”    “Do you believe you are ready to learn that?”    This took the longest. Tobias was silent for a good five minutes. In his mind, he was going back and forth. Stories of Jedi mixed with the reality he’d seen. Killing was necessary but it shouldn’t be. But shouldn’t didn’t matter. But there was always a choice. Always. And if he could make the right choices...maybe he wouldn’t have to react by killing someone again.    “I don’t know,” Tobias said finally, then quickly added, “But I want to try.”    Master Ral’s face took on a more stern look, “When life and death are in your hands trying isn’t good enough.”    Tobias was surprised by the sudden change in tone. As quickly as he could, he did his best to correct his previous words, “Then yes...yes, I believe I’m ready.”    This time, Master Ral’s face softened and he nodded, “Go to the bridge and check with the Admiral. Find out where Tokarr is in all of this and we’ll finish that piece of business before we head back to Yavin.”</blockquote>

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