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Rocket your D&D 5E and Level Up: Advanced 5E games into space! Alpha Star Magazine Is Launching... Right Now!

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Message: <blockquote data-quote="jonrog1" data-source="post: 1008294" data-attributes="member: 189">Carnage, thousands of men SLAMMING into beasts, titanspawn.  QUICK CUTS of heads flying, viscera spattering.  DEAFENING NOISE of metal on metal and bone, all in the pouring, drenching rain.  Corpses fly away from an exploding series of FIREBALLS.  The opening of Gladiator, but bigger --"DARKNESS COVERS THE LAND!  HOPE IS LOST!" A soldier looks up, shrieks as a flaming BLACK DRAGON SLAMS into the muddy ground, crushing him.  Ogres with human heads on pikes SURGE over the hill."ARMIES PILLAGE --"Huge wolf-headed humanoids LEAP through a barrier of flames.  One of them walks, ignoring the fire, carrying two vast SWORDS."NIGHTMARES WALK FREE!"A young woman with a huge sword (Indigo), SLICES off a man's head.  All that does is let the rest of his skin peel away, revealing the GIANT INSECT wearing his flesh ... a mad druid CACKLES as a huge SCORPION rises from the soil ..."DARK CONSPIRACIES TRIUMPH!"QUICK CUTS of a man in a black robe unfolding his DRAGON WINGS,  a red-headed woman in rogue's clothes stepping from the shadows,  black-scaled humanoids SURGING FORWARD at the command of a robed wizard, another woman with ritual scarring rises into the sky, laughing as her cultists charge ..."THE SCARRED LANDS NEED ...  HEROES!"Beat.  Two men run from a forest, followed by a hundred orcs.Taggart:  "Run away!  Run away faster!""ANGELS OF MERCY."Indigo, picking her way through wounded lying in rainy muck, stumbles.  She KICKS.  Someone moans.Indigo:  "Hey, I tripped over one of your dying guys here!  You should be more careful with them!"CUT TO a halfling tied to a chair.  Kirby brutally b*tch-slaps him.  "Take it!" SMACK! "Take it hard!" SMACK!"DREAMERS, TO REBUILD A SHATTERED LAND." Alec puts down his tankard.  "Let the church worry about healing people, I'm talking about building a casino here."Argent, the priest: "The church will want a cut."Alec: "Hey, of course.""LIGHTS TO TURN BACK THE COMING DARKNESS!"A tree with tentacles is seizing screaming people in white robes and jamming them into its whirring toothy maw.  As blood fountains high into the sky,  a man in fancy clothing (Kirby) holds back Argent.Kirby: "So we feed evil cultists to an evil tree.  Net result -- less evil!  How is that not good?""VIRTUOUS HEARTS TO LEAD THE PEOPLE!"Taggart stands in a stable, overlooking Alec tangled up with a half-naked bar wench in a haystackTaggart:  "Your girlfriend's a paladin.  You're cheating on a paladin."Alec : (shrugs) "Dude, I'm neutral.""CUNNING MINDS TO UNRAVEL AGELESS MYSTERIES!"Malachi:  "It's some sort of glowing, rune-covered sphere hovering directly over a pedestal inscribed with ancient death-threats, all of it radiating an powrful, arcane energy."Taggart:  "Just grab it.""YES, THE SCARRED LANDS NEEDS HEROES ..."A man lies completely tied on a bed, eyed wide.  Indigo points to a small, black-scaled carnivore and screams in the man's face:  "If you move, he will chew off your man parts!  Then he will chew off your face, but he will have your man-parts in his mouth so you will taste them as he chews off your face!  Do you want to taste your man-parts?  DO YOU?""... THE SCARRED LANDS ARE SCREWED."Indigo:  "Meepo, did you make pee-pee in my laundry?""The Scarred Lands: NONE DARE CALL THEM HEROES"NOW PLAYING</blockquote>

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