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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Testament" data-source="post: 1875275" data-attributes="member: 21833">Holy funting Moses Merric, where did you find such profoundly stupid players?  The Ettin incident had me crying with laughter just reading it.  If you, as GM could keep a straight face during it then I am impressed!My favourite one is a bit longer, but was hysterical for me as a GM.  The PCs had just managed to stop a group of evil cultists operating under a chandlery, with the help of the most wanted pirate in the entire Republic.  Needless to say, the fight was quite dramatic, complete with red light blasting out of the windows when the hellhound pack was summoned to stop the PCs.  They emerge victorious, to find themselves staring at the muzzles of 30 soldiers from the coastal fort nearby.  The pirates are also being rounded up.During their incarceration, the guards and authorities hear stories about one PC in particular, who tortured a captured cultist Resevoir Dogs style, except that he also ATE the ear.  He's also been ranting the whole time about how this is unjust that he's imprisoned, and that the Prince of the nation is a git and that he'll eat his ears.After a little while in prison, the Prince arrives with his staff to interview the PCs, since they have stopped a threat to the Republic. His physician in particular wishes to interview the noisy one.  The highlight of their conversation went thusDr:  So you don't like the Prince I take it?PC:  No, he's a F###tard!  We're out there risking our lives to stop these psychos from killing more innocents and wrecking the whole nation, and what's he doing?  Sitting on his fat a## back in Hydebarad*, counting MY tax money!Dr:  Oh...(GM shock hits).  You do realise that the Prince has many affairs of state to deal with.  You created one when you exposed the regional Governor of this province as a member of this cult.  Plus, he was trying to deal with the panic that the murders in the capital started.PC:  Well then must suck as his job!  I've been in this whole for 2 damn weeks.Dr:  Well you were in the company of Brass Ky'Ulth.  He's a wanted pirate.  His lair was also...interesting.  We found several bodies, that looked like they'd been tortured.  One had his ears removed and had been viciously beaten.PC:  He had it coming.  By the way, you have very nice ears.That was it at that point.  The character was deemed a dangerous madman and subversive, and now languishes in an insane asylum.*-Capital city.</blockquote>

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