There's a lot we don't see eye-to-eye on.I don't see it as being the same.
This has been rehashed time and time again. Think that this is the magic time that your old school perspective will convince me or anyone else otherwise that this isn't much of a distinction without a difference?In combat, the rules are (usually) pretty clear about what mechanics are used to determine outcomes. Why? Because we can't physically roleplay out the combats at the table and something has to step in and take over.
We can, however, roleplay out social interactions and-or our own characters' emotions at the table without recourse to rules (in which case, rules for such things become unnecessary); and if a character's emotional state is such that he both wants to assassinate someone and is in a positon to do so the game should not IMO attempt to interrupt that by arbitrarily challenging the character's emotional state. Ditto if the character falls in love with someone or feels any other strong emotion; that's the player's choice to make* and the game should not be able to arbitrarily interfere.
Once we get to the actual putting of knife to throat, of course, we're into combat; and all the associated rules of abstraction come into play.
* - in all cases I'm assuming the absence of mind-control magics or similar.