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<blockquote data-quote="izillama" data-source="post: 4570803" data-attributes="member: 79171"><p>Clover didn't want to open her eyes. </p><p>She didn't want to see.</p><p>She didn't want to face what she had become.</p><p>She tasted the iron in her mouth.</p><p>She accepted it.</p><p>But she did not delight in it.</p><p>She opened her eyes upon hearing Koln's kind words. But she couldn't look him straight in the face.</p><p>She had been a fool.</p><p>She had allowed herself to so stupidly believe that she could overcome her new condition. And now she had paid the price.</p><p>Humiliation.</p><p>Dependence.</p><p>Next to them, she saw the empty V8 bottle. She vaguely remembered Koln helping her to sit down against the wall, hastily pulling the bottle out and forcing the liquid down her throat. </p><p>She had fought him.</p><p>Resisted.</p><p>And at what cost?</p><p>She was thankful that Koln had been so kind as to plan for her. He had probably seen this coming.</p><p>But she was so ashamed.</p><p>Though not from an actual living being, though not warm, she had drank human blood.</p><p>'I am a monster.'</p><p>Shyly, she flicked her eyes up to Koln, saying quietly, "Thank you."</p><p>But she did not take his outstretched hand. </p><p>He smiled, "By the way, you have my admiration, you stuck to your ideals so tightly."</p><p>She shook her head, speaking her thoughts out loud, "No. Don't admire me. Don't praise me. I've sinned. I've taken another's blood. Koln? Admit it. I'm a monster. We all are." She drew her knees up and hugged them, lying her head down on her arms. </p><p>She spoke quietly, "Who have I become? What am I doing? Surviving on blood. Surviving on the life force of others. I have no right. It's wrong! I... I understand that this is how I need to live from now on. But I can't accept that. I can't accept that... <em>this</em> is a part of me now."</p><p>She frowned, glad that she wasn't looking at Koln anymore. Glad that he couldn't see the pain on her face. </p><p>Clover whispered, "I'm a monster. I wish... that I had never been born. Or reborn. Or whatever you vampire types call it. I want to disappear. To make all of this go away. I want to <em>die</em>."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="izillama, post: 4570803, member: 79171"] Clover didn't want to open her eyes. She didn't want to see. She didn't want to face what she had become. She tasted the iron in her mouth. She accepted it. But she did not delight in it. She opened her eyes upon hearing Koln's kind words. But she couldn't look him straight in the face. She had been a fool. She had allowed herself to so stupidly believe that she could overcome her new condition. And now she had paid the price. Humiliation. Dependence. Next to them, she saw the empty V8 bottle. She vaguely remembered Koln helping her to sit down against the wall, hastily pulling the bottle out and forcing the liquid down her throat. She had fought him. Resisted. And at what cost? She was thankful that Koln had been so kind as to plan for her. He had probably seen this coming. But she was so ashamed. Though not from an actual living being, though not warm, she had drank human blood. 'I am a monster.' Shyly, she flicked her eyes up to Koln, saying quietly, "Thank you." But she did not take his outstretched hand. He smiled, "By the way, you have my admiration, you stuck to your ideals so tightly." She shook her head, speaking her thoughts out loud, "No. Don't admire me. Don't praise me. I've sinned. I've taken another's blood. Koln? Admit it. I'm a monster. We all are." She drew her knees up and hugged them, lying her head down on her arms. She spoke quietly, "Who have I become? What am I doing? Surviving on blood. Surviving on the life force of others. I have no right. It's wrong! I... I understand that this is how I need to live from now on. But I can't accept that. I can't accept that... [I]this[/I] is a part of me now." She frowned, glad that she wasn't looking at Koln anymore. Glad that he couldn't see the pain on her face. Clover whispered, "I'm a monster. I wish... that I had never been born. Or reborn. Or whatever you vampire types call it. I want to disappear. To make all of this go away. I want to [I]die[/I]." [/QUOTE]
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