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Tales From The Awning Pothole
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<blockquote data-quote="BoldItalic" data-source="post: 7162260" data-attributes="member: 6777052"><p><span style="color: #008000">She started to stir..........</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: blue">Flora groggily opened one eye and saw nothing special. She was aware of being wet and ... oops, how embarrassing, her chintz dress seemed to have disappeared. The blushed green and hoped there was nobody about. Then she groggily opened the eye on the other side of her head and realised that there <em>were</em> people about after all. There were <em>men</em> staring at her. "Do you mind?" she hissed, "Look the other way, at least!"</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">The three men politely turned their backs and Flora changed into an old crone in a black dress and a pointy hat like witches are supposed to wear. "You can turn round now," she said in an old crone voice. "Now, what do you want?"</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">"We seek a chintz dragon called Flora," explained Tippy, "She is invited to the wedding of Duke Cholmondeley."</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">"<em>Duke</em> Cholmondeley? Not that silly chap on a horse called ... let me think ... Herrington? Heatherington? Something like that. You don't mean him, surely? He wasn't very dukely when I last saw him."</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">"Harrington," confirmed Tippy. "The very same. Then you <em>are</em> the Flora we seek. His grace mentioned another dragon called Archie? Is he ... with you?"</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">"Archie? That good-for-nothing lizard? No he is most certainly <u>not</u> <em>with me</em> as you put it. He's <em>awa' in Glasgie muklin' the wannoks</em> and deserves every minute of it. So when is this wedding?"</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">"In the spring, at his grace's seat, Southborough Castle. There is plenty of time to get there."</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">"Nonsense, that's no time at all. I shall need a complete new outfit and do you know how long it takes the lacemakers to make a thousand widths? Ages! You men have no idea."</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">"We would be willing to escort you to a nearby city of it helps?"</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">Flora peered quizzically at Macfeece and Albert. "Oh yes, a poor old granny will be quite safe with such strapping lads to look after her," she quavered in Old Crone. She was being ironic, of course, but they didn't realise that and thought she was paying them a compliment.</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">"Come on, then," she commanded, "We haven't got all day. And if <em>you</em>," and she glared at Albert as she said this, "so much as touch a whisker of my pockets, your feet won't touch the ground. Understood?"</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">"Yes, yes," nodded Albert furiously, "I promise, I promise."</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">"Hmmph."</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">They set off together towards the city of Polearms Lacey but as they rounded a pile of rocks by a bend in the road, they were greeted with hoots of rather uncouth laughter. Looking up, they saw a half-orc standing sentry on the rocks, clearly armed with a wicked-looking halberd and, less clearly, a sling with 20 bullets.</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">What immediately struck Tippy was that one half-orc standing sentry on a rock was quite likely to be standing sentry <em>for some more half-orcs</em> and this could be problematic. He himself, being a Cleric of The Returning Thread, was armed with the regulation hammer and boomerang.[sup]1[/sup] He obviously couldn't reach with the hammer, so it might have to be ranged attacks and he really hoped it wouldn't come to that.[sup]2[/sup] He cast <em>Protection From Self</em>, just in case.</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">What immediately struck Albert was that the half-orc was jumping down athletically from the rock and holding out a hand in greeting. "I'm Tasha," she said, "on account of my burly moustache." She guffawed again and added "I'm coming with you."</span></p><p></p><p>Tippy (Theodore Ignatius Phillpot Price; Cleric-1; Hammer & Boomerang)</p><p>Macfeece (Wizard-1)</p><p>Albert (Thief-1)</p><p>Flora (Green Dragon in the guise of an Old Crone)</p><p>Tasha (Half-Orc Fighter-1; Halberd & Sling)</p><p></p><p>[HR][/HR]<span style="color: blue">[sup]1[/sup] It's okay, the ancient Egyptians had boomerangs too.</span></p><p><span style="color: blue">[sup]2[/sup] Because they couldn't face having him retake the boomerang-throwing course, his instructors had marked his performance as 'stunning' and passed him. The problem being, that it was Tippy himself who was the stunnee nine times out of ten. The tenth time was when he killed the roof of the refectory, but anyone can make a mistake.</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BoldItalic, post: 7162260, member: 6777052"] [COLOR=#008000]She started to stir..........[/COLOR] [COLOR=blue]Flora groggily opened one eye and saw nothing special. She was aware of being wet and ... oops, how embarrassing, her chintz dress seemed to have disappeared. The blushed green and hoped there was nobody about. Then she groggily opened the eye on the other side of her head and realised that there [I]were[/I] people about after all. There were [I]men[/I] staring at her. "Do you mind?" she hissed, "Look the other way, at least!" The three men politely turned their backs and Flora changed into an old crone in a black dress and a pointy hat like witches are supposed to wear. "You can turn round now," she said in an old crone voice. "Now, what do you want?" "We seek a chintz dragon called Flora," explained Tippy, "She is invited to the wedding of Duke Cholmondeley." "[I]Duke[/I] Cholmondeley? Not that silly chap on a horse called ... let me think ... Herrington? Heatherington? Something like that. You don't mean him, surely? He wasn't very dukely when I last saw him." "Harrington," confirmed Tippy. "The very same. Then you [I]are[/I] the Flora we seek. His grace mentioned another dragon called Archie? Is he ... with you?" "Archie? That good-for-nothing lizard? No he is most certainly [U]not[/U] [I]with me[/I] as you put it. He's [I]awa' in Glasgie muklin' the wannoks[/I] and deserves every minute of it. So when is this wedding?" "In the spring, at his grace's seat, Southborough Castle. There is plenty of time to get there." "Nonsense, that's no time at all. I shall need a complete new outfit and do you know how long it takes the lacemakers to make a thousand widths? Ages! You men have no idea." "We would be willing to escort you to a nearby city of it helps?" Flora peered quizzically at Macfeece and Albert. "Oh yes, a poor old granny will be quite safe with such strapping lads to look after her," she quavered in Old Crone. She was being ironic, of course, but they didn't realise that and thought she was paying them a compliment. "Come on, then," she commanded, "We haven't got all day. And if [I]you[/I]," and she glared at Albert as she said this, "so much as touch a whisker of my pockets, your feet won't touch the ground. Understood?" "Yes, yes," nodded Albert furiously, "I promise, I promise." "Hmmph." They set off together towards the city of Polearms Lacey but as they rounded a pile of rocks by a bend in the road, they were greeted with hoots of rather uncouth laughter. Looking up, they saw a half-orc standing sentry on the rocks, clearly armed with a wicked-looking halberd and, less clearly, a sling with 20 bullets. What immediately struck Tippy was that one half-orc standing sentry on a rock was quite likely to be standing sentry [I]for some more half-orcs[/I] and this could be problematic. He himself, being a Cleric of The Returning Thread, was armed with the regulation hammer and boomerang.[sup]1[/sup] He obviously couldn't reach with the hammer, so it might have to be ranged attacks and he really hoped it wouldn't come to that.[sup]2[/sup] He cast [I]Protection From Self[/I], just in case. What immediately struck Albert was that the half-orc was jumping down athletically from the rock and holding out a hand in greeting. "I'm Tasha," she said, "on account of my burly moustache." She guffawed again and added "I'm coming with you."[/COLOR] Tippy (Theodore Ignatius Phillpot Price; Cleric-1; Hammer & Boomerang) Macfeece (Wizard-1) Albert (Thief-1) Flora (Green Dragon in the guise of an Old Crone) Tasha (Half-Orc Fighter-1; Halberd & Sling) [HR][/HR][COLOR=blue][sup]1[/sup] It's okay, the ancient Egyptians had boomerangs too. [sup]2[/sup] Because they couldn't face having him retake the boomerang-throwing course, his instructors had marked his performance as 'stunning' and passed him. The problem being, that it was Tippy himself who was the stunnee nine times out of ten. The tenth time was when he killed the roof of the refectory, but anyone can make a mistake.[/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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