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Tales From The Old Bald One-Eyed Salty Red Dog Tavern! (chapter 1, now closed)
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<blockquote data-quote="Lazlow" data-source="post: 2526853" data-attributes="member: 24242"><p>The captain slowly regains conciousness, and ever so gently opens his eyes only to see the cause of all his current troubles, that accursed "Sherriff", standing over him. He starts to cringe, but something about this man's demeanor stops him... The deep state of repose and reflection on his face is calming, almost soothing. The Captain thinks for a moment, then decides he's not so bad after all. He starts to sit up - </p><p></p><p><KICK> <span style="color: Teal">"My patience is wearing quite thin. Wake up, moron. Where's Dudley?" </span> </p><p></p><p><span style="color: DeepSkyBlue">"Ack! I told you! Dudley's not here! No one's seen him for weeks!"</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: Teal"> "What would the butcher do to you if he found out that his papers disapeared while in your care?" </span> <SMACK> <span style="color: Teal"> "Stay with me."</span> <Tears paper><span style="color: Teal"> "It's all right, Phyfe. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm just looking for Dudley, and I'm not going to hurt him either. It's to help the Duke. Don't you want to help the Duke? And yourself? Just tell me where he is, and you'll get your papers back and I'll walk out and you can have a little wine and forget all about me and Rumpchunk'll get his papers and everyone will be happy."</span></p><p></p><p>The captain has clearly had all he can take and handles it in the only way a man of his character can. No, not that way, thankfully. This way: He begins to cry. And cry he does. Cry, cry, cry, cry. Like a wee little babe, he does.</p><p></p><p>In between sobs he manages to say, <span style="color: DeepSkyBlue">"<huh-UNH huh huh-UNH> Tha-that's your re-re-re-waaaaaaAAARRD AAAAAWWWWW HOOOOooooo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoooooo...." </span> He points at the paper the Sherriff has been currently subjecting to torture, upon which is written, <em>This certificate entitles the bearer to his or her choice of five pounds of cured meats.</em></p><p></p><p>The captain crawls over into the corner and continues to sob uncontrollably. Evidently this was a long time coming.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lazlow, post: 2526853, member: 24242"] The captain slowly regains conciousness, and ever so gently opens his eyes only to see the cause of all his current troubles, that accursed "Sherriff", standing over him. He starts to cringe, but something about this man's demeanor stops him... The deep state of repose and reflection on his face is calming, almost soothing. The Captain thinks for a moment, then decides he's not so bad after all. He starts to sit up - <KICK> [color=Teal]"My patience is wearing quite thin. Wake up, moron. Where's Dudley?" [/color] [COLOR=DeepSkyBlue]"Ack! I told you! Dudley's not here! No one's seen him for weeks!"[/COLOR] [color=Teal] "What would the butcher do to you if he found out that his papers disapeared while in your care?" [/color] <SMACK> [color=Teal] "Stay with me."[/color] <Tears paper>[color=Teal] "It's all right, Phyfe. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm just looking for Dudley, and I'm not going to hurt him either. It's to help the Duke. Don't you want to help the Duke? And yourself? Just tell me where he is, and you'll get your papers back and I'll walk out and you can have a little wine and forget all about me and Rumpchunk'll get his papers and everyone will be happy."[/color] The captain has clearly had all he can take and handles it in the only way a man of his character can. No, not that way, thankfully. This way: He begins to cry. And cry he does. Cry, cry, cry, cry. Like a wee little babe, he does. In between sobs he manages to say, [COLOR=DeepSkyBlue]"<huh-UNH huh huh-UNH> Tha-that's your re-re-re-waaaaaaAAARRD AAAAAWWWWW HOOOOooooo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoooooo...." [/COLOR] He points at the paper the Sherriff has been currently subjecting to torture, upon which is written, [I]This certificate entitles the bearer to his or her choice of five pounds of cured meats.[/I] The captain crawls over into the corner and continues to sob uncontrollably. Evidently this was a long time coming. [/QUOTE]
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