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<blockquote data-quote="Delemental" data-source="post: 2362711" data-attributes="member: 5203"><p><strong>Autumn Evening</strong></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>And, so I shall.</p><p></p><p>This is another fictional piece I wrote. Campaign-wise, it takes place during the 'Carnivale' adventure, on board the <em>Maiden, Mother and Crone</em>. In the future, I'll try to be more diligent in posting these side-stories closer to when they actually happened in the timeline.</p><p></p><p>----------------</p><p></p><p> Light from the setting sun danced across the water’s surface as the prow of the <em>Maiden, Mother and Crone</em> slid through the ocean. Dolphins swam just ahead of the ship, occasionally jumping out of the water and splashing. The captain had said it was a sign of favor from Krûsh, and that they would make good time to the next port.</p><p></p><p> Autumn was tired of looking at dolphins.</p><p></p><p> She sighed as she stepped back from the railing, and regarded the greater expanse of the ocean. The truth was, she was bored. She’d been on ocean voyages before, as a young girl growing up in the Verahannen household, but they’d never lasted more than three or four days, and between lessons and playing with Aiden and Arrie, there was never a dull moment. This voyage had lasted nearly three weeks already, and was due to last at least that much longer if not more. Autumn had quickly realized that she had no practical skills for a sea voyage, and the number of things she could do to keep herself busy was wearing thin. Her armor was dent-free and so polished she could see her reflection in it, as was her sword. There were only so many hours a day she could spend in sword practice, and only so long she could tolerate embroidery work. She couldn’t go riding, she couldn’t effectively practice archery, she had no books to read, and any letters she might have wished to write had been written and sent days ago.</p><p></p><p>Even her sister Arrie’s company had worn thin under the close quarters they now shared, and they now avoided each other – to be more accurate, Arrie was avoiding Autumn, as she’d been unusually snippy toward her sister recently. The only thing that had made the voyage bearable was Tolly. He’d been keeping himself as busy as everyone else, of course, but had taken the time to seek her out and talk with her, seeing how restless she was. She’d been surprised to discover that they held a lot of similar opinions and interests. A small smile crept across her face thinking about it.</p><p></p><p> After a few minutes of picking splinters out of the railing, Autumn turned and began walking toward the stairs leading down to the hold. She pointedly ignored the stares her passage elicited from the crew. She hated the way the ocean spray made her clothes cling to her body, and the looks that it provoked. She couldn’t understand how Lanara not only tolerated such looks from these men, but actually seem to encourage it by the clothes she chose to wear. She longed to be in her armor again, but wearing a suit of full plate on board a ship was highly impractical, if not suicidal. At least none of the crew had done anything besides stare while she was around.</p><p></p><p> No, that wasn’t quite true. There was that one crewman, barely three days out of Erum, who during the evening meal had grabbed her like a common tavern wench and suggested she… ‘climb his mast’ were the words Autumn remembered him using. The captain had put him off the ship at the next port with his wages. Autumn vaguely remembered wondering if the money would be enough to buy a set of false teeth to replace the ones she’d shattered.</p><p></p><p> Autumn descended below decks, thinking to spend a few minutes brushing Defiance before returning to her cabin and working on – she sighed – more embroidery. For a moment, she even considered joining Osborn at fishing off the side of the deck, but she’d never found the activity enjoyable, and so dismissed the impulse.</p><p></p><p>As she walked past the galley, she heard a loud commotion. Curious, she stopped and poked her head around the doorway. A group of seven or eight crewman sat at the far end of the room, surrounding a small barrel with cups in their hands. Autumn knew that Captain Mohan had taken on a small supply of rum at their last stop, and assumed that the cask was part of that supply. Watching the sailors, Autumn saw a flash of deep blue in their midst, and was surprised to see Kyle in the crowd. Just as she recognized him, the group broke into a drinking song. At first they were uncoordinated, the lyrics spilling out seemingly at random, but by the end they were mostly singing in unison.</p><p> </p><p></p><p><em>And Mary McGregor, she was a pretty whore</em></p><p><em>She'd always greet you with a smile and never lock her door</em></p><p><em>But on the day she died, all the men in town did weep</em></p><p><em>For Mary McGregor finally got some sleep</em></p><p> </p><p></p><p> Autumn smiled and shook her head. The lyrics were as atrocious as Kyle’s singing voice. He’d never have a career as a bard.</p><p></p><p> She stood at the doorway and watched him for a while, leaning against the doorframe. The song had come to a jumbled end, and now the men were swapping stories. She could tell even from this distance that Kyle had not had nearly as much to drink as the others – in fact, ever since Midsummer, when he’d won the bar brawl in Laeshir (the ‘prize’ being the honor of covering the tab for the whole tavern), he’d been very cautious about how much he drank. She watched the way his new, midnight blue robes flowed around his large frame. The robes had been an anonymous gift during their stay at the palace in Noxolt; Kyle had accused her of buying them at first, but she hadn’t been responsible. She had wondered for a while who had given him the robes, but in the end decided that he looked good enough in the new clothes that it didn’t much matter. His old green robes had been nice, but the deep blue suited him better, and these weren’t threadbare.</p><p></p><p> She studied his other features. His face had lost the slight softness it had acquired after their month-long stay at the Imperial Palace (in truth, they’d all lost a bit of softness; five weeks of overland travel and then a sea voyage had snapped the entire party back into shape). She was surprised to realize that his hair had grown longer; he used to keep it quite short, hacking off the ends with his dagger every so often, but now it was long enough he’d had to tie it back with a silver ring. A loose strand had escaped the ring and hung free next to his right temple, barely touching his cheek. Autumn’s gaze kept going back to that loose strand, strangely drawn to it and the way it swayed back and forth in front of Kyle’s beautiful blue-gray eyes. She felt a warm, pleasant feeling spread from her chest, wrapping her in comfort.</p><p></p><p> “Copper for your thoughts?”</p><p></p><p> Autumn blinked in surprise and realized that Kyle was now standing directly in front of her. Somewhere during her reverie she’d missed seeing him stand up.</p><p></p><p> “I’m sorry, what?” was the best she could manage in the moment. <em>Brilliant, Autumn,</em> she thought to herself, <em>very eloquent.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p> “You were staring at me,” Kyle said. “I tried to get your attention, but you were kind of lost in thought there.”</p><p></p><p> In her own mind, Autumn laughed at herself. <em>Staring at him. And here I was only a few minutes ago mentally castigating the other sailors for doing the same thing. Lesson in humility learned. Lord Pot, meet Lady Kettle.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p> For Kyle, she only smiled. “I was only thinking of… something nice.” Then, because she couldn’t help herself, she reached up and brushed the loose strand of hair back behind his ear. She pulled her hand away quickly in case anyone was watching, but it wasn’t what she wanted to do.</p><p></p><p> “So, Kyle,” she said, “Since I have your attention, I was wondering if you could help me with the horses? That is, if I’m not interrupting anything?”</p><p></p><p> “Oh, them?” Kyle looked back at the cluster of sailors, who had launched into another song about a sailor, which included a rather graphic description of why he was called ‘Three-Legged Pete’. “Nah, just enjoying a round with the boys. We finally finished replacing the support timbers in the aft hold this afternoon, so the first mate said it was okay to tap one of the casks.” Kyle looked back at the sailors again. “At this point, I don’t think they’ll notice that I’m gone.”</p><p></p><p> Kyle followed Autumn out of the galley and down the narrow corridor toward the next flight of stairs. As they walked, Autumn had the chance to ponder her rather strong reaction to seeing Kyle. Perhaps it was the thrill of stealing an illicit moment – no, that seemed unlikely. Their entire relationship was comprised of such moments. Perhaps it was simply a release from the frustration she’d felt at not being able to be alone with him, like she’d been able to do at the palace. That didn’t seem right, either. Though she admitted the separation was hard, it wasn’t as if she and Kyle were rutting animals unable to control their instincts (though on some occasions, Autumn secretly wondered about Kyle; and even more secretly, admitted that sometimes she didn’t mind).</p><p></p><p> But something on that line of thought seemed to stir her thoughts, so she mulled it over. She hadn’t truly had a private moment with Kyle since leaving the palace at Noxolt. There, even though publicly they still had to conceal their affair, there was opportunity aplenty for them to meet, given the expansive grounds and the huge staff of servants trained not to notice anything. But on the road to the port, and on the small, cramped ship, such opportunities had vanished. Looking back, Autumn realized that in the past five weeks she’d and Kyle had exchanged fewer than a dozen words in any conversation they’d had. As soon as she had that thought, something clicked into place, and the revelation was so surprising she nearly stopped walking.</p><p></p><p> The problem wasn’t that Autumn was bored – she was lonely.</p><p></p><p> At first, it didn’t make much sense to her; after all, she had her sister, and Tolly, and the other members of the group, all of whom she could spend time with if she wished. But Autumn had never been one to deny or discount her own feelings, and it came to her that there were many different forms of loneliness.</p><p></p><p> They walked down to the lower decks, where Autumn’s steed Defiance was being stabled alongside Arrie’s mount Ghost. Glancing at the gray-white horse next to hers, Autumn could tell that her sister had already been down to groom Ghost. With no other animals kept in this section of the hold, and with the rest of the crew under orders not to disturb the horses unless there was an emergency, it meant that for a few minutes they would be undisturbed.</p><p></p><p> “I’ve missed you,” she said, as she ran a currycomb across Defiance’s coat.</p><p></p><p> “Really? It’s not exactly like I’ve been far away.”</p><p></p><p> “You know what I mean.” Autumn was sure that Kyle’s comment was meant as a joke, but suddenly she didn’t find it very funny.</p><p></p><p> Kyle got the hint. “Look, I know. I’ve missed you too. But our situation…” he shrugged helplessly. “And besides that, I’ve been kind of busy.”</p><p></p><p> “I’ve noticed,” Autumn said, a little more harshly than she intended. “This is the most I’ve seen of you in three weeks.”</p><p></p><p> “Autumn, I talked with you about this before we even boarded the ship. For the first time since leaving the school, it seems that I have the time, the money, and the energy to work on some of the projects I’ve been planning. Who knows when I’ll get another chance at this? Besides, it’s not like I’ve spent the entire voyage in my cabin.”</p><p></p><p> “No,” she admitted, “but when you are out of your cabin, you spend the entire time working with the crew. Tolly has just as many ‘projects’ as you, but I still get to talk to him.”</p><p></p><p> Kyle just shook his head, clearly not agreeing with her.</p><p></p><p> Autumn focused on brushing Defiance for a few minutes, wanting the time to think. Kyle’s response hadn’t pleased her at all. But then again, didn’t he have the right to spend his time as he wished? But if that were the case, why didn’t he choose to spend any of that time with her? But, but, but.</p><p></p><p> <em> If only I could talk to Arrie about this,</em> Autumn sighed. But that was the problem with a secret relationship, now wasn’t it? The only person she could really talk to about it was Kyle, and his wasn’t exactly an objective opinion, nor was it a feminine one. In lieu of her sister, Autumn would have accepted advice from Lanara, Xu… even Kavan in a pinch.</p><p></p><p> She sometimes wondered if she’d gotten in over her head in choosing Kyle as her… what would she even call it? They were nowhere close to engaged (Gods! What a nightmare that would be explaining to Mother!), nor could she say they were intended. ‘Lovers’ was probably the closest, but the word had such a tawdry sound to her ear, it made their union sound cheap and crude. For a moment, Autumn wondered if her mother – her real mother – had thought these same thoughts when contemplating her own tryst with her celestial father.</p><p></p><p> “Exactly what planet are you spending so much time on tonight?” asked Kyle, shaking her out of her train of thought. She’d completed her brushing of her horse without conscious thought, and had been standing unmoving at his flank for Bail knew how long.</p><p></p><p> “None of your business,” she snapped, this time not caring that her irritation was coming out in her voice. He certainly hadn’t make things any easier on her recently, and it irked her that he was having a grand old time on this ship while she was ignored.</p><p></p><p> Now Kyle was beginning to get annoyed. “Hey, what did I do?”</p><p></p><p> “Nothing, Kyle. That’s the whole problem. You’re not doing anything.”</p><p></p><p> She turned on her heel and began to head toward the stairs, when Kyle grabbed her arm, pulling her toward him. “Now wait just a minute…”</p><p></p><p> They stared at each other, her brilliant blue eyes locked with his smoky blue-grays. The lock of Kyle’s black hair had fallen out of place again, dangling just to the side of his face. Now, instead of compelling, it just annoyed her.</p><p></p><p> Kyle looked as if he were about to say something to her. She waited, expectantly. She had to have faith in him. Had to have faith that he’d say the right thing now, that he’d make all this go away. Make her feel warm, safe, and happy, like he did the first night they were together.</p><p></p><p> Behind them, there was a noise as someone came down the stairs. Kyle held Autumn’s gaze for another moment, then his grip on her arm loosened, and he stepped back.</p><p></p><p> “I’m sorry to hear you’re not enjoying the voyage,” he said, a bit too cheery. “I hope you can find some way to pass the time.”</p><p></p><p> Her eyes blazed. “Don’t worry, Kyle. I will.” She stormed away, past a somewhat startled crewman coming down the stairs to check the cargo.</p><p></p><p> She ended up back on the deck, looking out at the ocean from the bow. She fought furiously to keep the tears from falling. She was glad that Kyle hadn’t tried to find her after she left, or she might very well have thrown him overboard.</p><p></p><p> Autumn couldn’t believe what had happened. She had thought that Kyle cared for her a great deal, but there was little evidence of that tonight. Had she misjudged him? Had his feelings for her waned? Had his feelings even been genuine?</p><p></p><p> She wanted to believe the best. She wanted to think that someone could truly care for her in this world – a world where she had already given up so much of what she should have. But now, as the first moon began to emerge from the endless ocean, she wondered if she had been used and discarded, like her mother.</p><p></p><p> The sound of heavy boots on the deck told her that someone was approaching. At first she thought it might be Kyle, and began searching for exactly the spot in the ocean she’d throw him in. But then she realized that the gait was wrong, and quickly took a deep breath to calm herself.</p><p></p><p> Tolly stepped up next to Autumn at the railing. “Good evening, Autumn,” he said. “How are you tonight?”</p><p></p><p> She had to suppress a bitter laugh. “I’m fine, Tolly. Just… having trouble sleeping. I guess I have a lot on my mind.”</p><p></p><p> “Is there anything I can do?”</p><p></p><p> She shook her head, then placed her hand atop his on the railing, squeezing softly. “You’ve already been a great comfort to me during this voyage, Tolly.”</p><p></p><p> Tolly looked down at her hand resting on his for a long time. When he spoke, his voice was unusually quiet. “Autumn, I came out here looking for you because I have something I want to give you. I was glad that I caught you alone.”</p><p></p><p> More alone than you realize, Autumn thought to herself. But to Tolly she said, “Something for me? Why, Tolly, I’m flattered. You shouldn’t have.”</p><p></p><p> “Well, I… wanted to give this to you.” He was stumbling over his words now, and a flush was rising on his face. Reaching into a pouch at his side, he produced what looked at first like a simple white rose in the dim moonlight. But as Tolly placed it in Autumn’s hand, she felt the cool, smooth texture of metal. She examined the token closely. It was a rose, cold-forged from iron. She nearly gasped as she saw the intricacy of dozens of overlapping petals connected to a slender stem.</p><p></p><p> “A token of affection,” Tolly said, almost whispering, “for a fellow adventurer true.”</p><p></p><p> The world seemed to spin. “Tolly…” Autumn said, still staring at the rose. “You… shouldn’t have…” Despite this, however, her grip on the iron stem only tightened. Finally, she looked up at Tolly, her face a mask of emotion. “Thank you, Tolly. I’m…” She found she could not finish the thought – she had no words.</p><p></p><p> For several minutes all she could do was look back and forth between the rose and Tolly. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and at times she thought she might faint. It was all too much for her.</p><p></p><p> The tears, so long in coming, finally started to flow. “Tolly, I… I need some time to be alone… please?” She didn’t want for his response, but bolted toward the stairs, her vision blurry.</p><p></p><p> Tolly stood watching Autumn leave, seeming unsure of what to do. He finally turned and stared out at the ocean, watching the second moon rise. Several minutes later, someone walked up behind him and stood at the rail.</p><p></p><p> “Hey, Tolly,” said Kyle.</p><p></p><p> “Good evening, Kyle.”</p><p></p><p> “Hey, am I going to be able to use our room tomorrow? Did you finish that ‘special project’ you were talking about?”</p><p></p><p> “Yes, I am finished.”</p><p></p><p> “That’s great. How’d it turn out?”</p><p></p><p> Tolly smiled a little. “Quite well, I think. Only time will tell. It was a bit of a chancy endeavor.”</p><p></p><p> “Oh, I’m sure whatever it is will work out perfectly for you. You shouldn’t be afraid to take chances, Tolly.”</p><p></p><p> “I think you may be right, Kyle.” Tolly pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket, wiping his forehead against the warmth of the near-equatorial night.</p><p></p><p> Kyle noticed the gesture. “Say, that’s some beautiful embroidery work there,” he commented. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you had a sweetheart somewhere.”</p><p></p><p> Tolly smiled and shrugged as he put the handkerchief away.</p><p></p><p> “Oh, ho!” Kyle laughed. “Seems our forthright Ardaran priest has a few secrets! Come on, what’s her name?”</p><p></p><p> Tolly opened his mouth to answer, but then Kyle slapped him on the back. “Oh, I’m just joking with you! Say, want to come down to the galley with me? If we hurry, we might be able to get in one more cup of rum before we turn in, before the crew starts tearing apart the barrel and sucking on the damp planks.”</p><p></p><p> “No, thank you.”</p><p></p><p> “Well, I could use one more stiff drink to end the night,” Kyle said, the good humor in his voice losing some of its fervor.</p><p> “Something wrong, Kyle?”</p><p></p><p> He shook his head and waved his hand dismissively in the air. “It’s nothing. Minor squabble with one of our friends today.”</p><p></p><p> “Really? Who?”</p><p></p><p> “It doesn’t matter, and I don’t want to embarrass them by naming names. Probably just getting antsy over this long voyage.” He looked slightly forlorn for a moment. “I just wish it hadn’t ended so rough between us. There were… things that needed to be said that weren’t.”</p><p></p><p> “Well, perhaps you’ll have that chance tomorrow.”</p><p></p><p> “Maybe. But maybe I’d best just let things lie for now. Just stay out of their way until things blow over.”</p><p></p><p> Tolly nodded. “You could be right, Kyle.”</p><p></p><p> “Sure,” Kyle agreed. “After all, no harm in waiting, right?"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Delemental, post: 2362711, member: 5203"] [b]Autumn Evening[/b] And, so I shall. This is another fictional piece I wrote. Campaign-wise, it takes place during the 'Carnivale' adventure, on board the [I]Maiden, Mother and Crone[/I]. In the future, I'll try to be more diligent in posting these side-stories closer to when they actually happened in the timeline. ---------------- Light from the setting sun danced across the water’s surface as the prow of the [I]Maiden, Mother and Crone[/I] slid through the ocean. Dolphins swam just ahead of the ship, occasionally jumping out of the water and splashing. The captain had said it was a sign of favor from Krûsh, and that they would make good time to the next port. Autumn was tired of looking at dolphins. She sighed as she stepped back from the railing, and regarded the greater expanse of the ocean. The truth was, she was bored. She’d been on ocean voyages before, as a young girl growing up in the Verahannen household, but they’d never lasted more than three or four days, and between lessons and playing with Aiden and Arrie, there was never a dull moment. This voyage had lasted nearly three weeks already, and was due to last at least that much longer if not more. Autumn had quickly realized that she had no practical skills for a sea voyage, and the number of things she could do to keep herself busy was wearing thin. Her armor was dent-free and so polished she could see her reflection in it, as was her sword. There were only so many hours a day she could spend in sword practice, and only so long she could tolerate embroidery work. She couldn’t go riding, she couldn’t effectively practice archery, she had no books to read, and any letters she might have wished to write had been written and sent days ago. Even her sister Arrie’s company had worn thin under the close quarters they now shared, and they now avoided each other – to be more accurate, Arrie was avoiding Autumn, as she’d been unusually snippy toward her sister recently. The only thing that had made the voyage bearable was Tolly. He’d been keeping himself as busy as everyone else, of course, but had taken the time to seek her out and talk with her, seeing how restless she was. She’d been surprised to discover that they held a lot of similar opinions and interests. A small smile crept across her face thinking about it. After a few minutes of picking splinters out of the railing, Autumn turned and began walking toward the stairs leading down to the hold. She pointedly ignored the stares her passage elicited from the crew. She hated the way the ocean spray made her clothes cling to her body, and the looks that it provoked. She couldn’t understand how Lanara not only tolerated such looks from these men, but actually seem to encourage it by the clothes she chose to wear. She longed to be in her armor again, but wearing a suit of full plate on board a ship was highly impractical, if not suicidal. At least none of the crew had done anything besides stare while she was around. No, that wasn’t quite true. There was that one crewman, barely three days out of Erum, who during the evening meal had grabbed her like a common tavern wench and suggested she… ‘climb his mast’ were the words Autumn remembered him using. The captain had put him off the ship at the next port with his wages. Autumn vaguely remembered wondering if the money would be enough to buy a set of false teeth to replace the ones she’d shattered. Autumn descended below decks, thinking to spend a few minutes brushing Defiance before returning to her cabin and working on – she sighed – more embroidery. For a moment, she even considered joining Osborn at fishing off the side of the deck, but she’d never found the activity enjoyable, and so dismissed the impulse. As she walked past the galley, she heard a loud commotion. Curious, she stopped and poked her head around the doorway. A group of seven or eight crewman sat at the far end of the room, surrounding a small barrel with cups in their hands. Autumn knew that Captain Mohan had taken on a small supply of rum at their last stop, and assumed that the cask was part of that supply. Watching the sailors, Autumn saw a flash of deep blue in their midst, and was surprised to see Kyle in the crowd. Just as she recognized him, the group broke into a drinking song. At first they were uncoordinated, the lyrics spilling out seemingly at random, but by the end they were mostly singing in unison. [I]And Mary McGregor, she was a pretty whore She'd always greet you with a smile and never lock her door But on the day she died, all the men in town did weep For Mary McGregor finally got some sleep[/I] Autumn smiled and shook her head. The lyrics were as atrocious as Kyle’s singing voice. He’d never have a career as a bard. She stood at the doorway and watched him for a while, leaning against the doorframe. The song had come to a jumbled end, and now the men were swapping stories. She could tell even from this distance that Kyle had not had nearly as much to drink as the others – in fact, ever since Midsummer, when he’d won the bar brawl in Laeshir (the ‘prize’ being the honor of covering the tab for the whole tavern), he’d been very cautious about how much he drank. She watched the way his new, midnight blue robes flowed around his large frame. The robes had been an anonymous gift during their stay at the palace in Noxolt; Kyle had accused her of buying them at first, but she hadn’t been responsible. She had wondered for a while who had given him the robes, but in the end decided that he looked good enough in the new clothes that it didn’t much matter. His old green robes had been nice, but the deep blue suited him better, and these weren’t threadbare. She studied his other features. His face had lost the slight softness it had acquired after their month-long stay at the Imperial Palace (in truth, they’d all lost a bit of softness; five weeks of overland travel and then a sea voyage had snapped the entire party back into shape). She was surprised to realize that his hair had grown longer; he used to keep it quite short, hacking off the ends with his dagger every so often, but now it was long enough he’d had to tie it back with a silver ring. A loose strand had escaped the ring and hung free next to his right temple, barely touching his cheek. Autumn’s gaze kept going back to that loose strand, strangely drawn to it and the way it swayed back and forth in front of Kyle’s beautiful blue-gray eyes. She felt a warm, pleasant feeling spread from her chest, wrapping her in comfort. “Copper for your thoughts?” Autumn blinked in surprise and realized that Kyle was now standing directly in front of her. Somewhere during her reverie she’d missed seeing him stand up. “I’m sorry, what?” was the best she could manage in the moment. [I]Brilliant, Autumn,[/I] she thought to herself, [I]very eloquent. [/I] “You were staring at me,” Kyle said. “I tried to get your attention, but you were kind of lost in thought there.” In her own mind, Autumn laughed at herself. [I]Staring at him. And here I was only a few minutes ago mentally castigating the other sailors for doing the same thing. Lesson in humility learned. Lord Pot, meet Lady Kettle. [/I] For Kyle, she only smiled. “I was only thinking of… something nice.” Then, because she couldn’t help herself, she reached up and brushed the loose strand of hair back behind his ear. She pulled her hand away quickly in case anyone was watching, but it wasn’t what she wanted to do. “So, Kyle,” she said, “Since I have your attention, I was wondering if you could help me with the horses? That is, if I’m not interrupting anything?” “Oh, them?” Kyle looked back at the cluster of sailors, who had launched into another song about a sailor, which included a rather graphic description of why he was called ‘Three-Legged Pete’. “Nah, just enjoying a round with the boys. We finally finished replacing the support timbers in the aft hold this afternoon, so the first mate said it was okay to tap one of the casks.” Kyle looked back at the sailors again. “At this point, I don’t think they’ll notice that I’m gone.” Kyle followed Autumn out of the galley and down the narrow corridor toward the next flight of stairs. As they walked, Autumn had the chance to ponder her rather strong reaction to seeing Kyle. Perhaps it was the thrill of stealing an illicit moment – no, that seemed unlikely. Their entire relationship was comprised of such moments. Perhaps it was simply a release from the frustration she’d felt at not being able to be alone with him, like she’d been able to do at the palace. That didn’t seem right, either. Though she admitted the separation was hard, it wasn’t as if she and Kyle were rutting animals unable to control their instincts (though on some occasions, Autumn secretly wondered about Kyle; and even more secretly, admitted that sometimes she didn’t mind). But something on that line of thought seemed to stir her thoughts, so she mulled it over. She hadn’t truly had a private moment with Kyle since leaving the palace at Noxolt. There, even though publicly they still had to conceal their affair, there was opportunity aplenty for them to meet, given the expansive grounds and the huge staff of servants trained not to notice anything. But on the road to the port, and on the small, cramped ship, such opportunities had vanished. Looking back, Autumn realized that in the past five weeks she’d and Kyle had exchanged fewer than a dozen words in any conversation they’d had. As soon as she had that thought, something clicked into place, and the revelation was so surprising she nearly stopped walking. The problem wasn’t that Autumn was bored – she was lonely. At first, it didn’t make much sense to her; after all, she had her sister, and Tolly, and the other members of the group, all of whom she could spend time with if she wished. But Autumn had never been one to deny or discount her own feelings, and it came to her that there were many different forms of loneliness. They walked down to the lower decks, where Autumn’s steed Defiance was being stabled alongside Arrie’s mount Ghost. Glancing at the gray-white horse next to hers, Autumn could tell that her sister had already been down to groom Ghost. With no other animals kept in this section of the hold, and with the rest of the crew under orders not to disturb the horses unless there was an emergency, it meant that for a few minutes they would be undisturbed. “I’ve missed you,” she said, as she ran a currycomb across Defiance’s coat. “Really? It’s not exactly like I’ve been far away.” “You know what I mean.” Autumn was sure that Kyle’s comment was meant as a joke, but suddenly she didn’t find it very funny. Kyle got the hint. “Look, I know. I’ve missed you too. But our situation…” he shrugged helplessly. “And besides that, I’ve been kind of busy.” “I’ve noticed,” Autumn said, a little more harshly than she intended. “This is the most I’ve seen of you in three weeks.” “Autumn, I talked with you about this before we even boarded the ship. For the first time since leaving the school, it seems that I have the time, the money, and the energy to work on some of the projects I’ve been planning. Who knows when I’ll get another chance at this? Besides, it’s not like I’ve spent the entire voyage in my cabin.” “No,” she admitted, “but when you are out of your cabin, you spend the entire time working with the crew. Tolly has just as many ‘projects’ as you, but I still get to talk to him.” Kyle just shook his head, clearly not agreeing with her. Autumn focused on brushing Defiance for a few minutes, wanting the time to think. Kyle’s response hadn’t pleased her at all. But then again, didn’t he have the right to spend his time as he wished? But if that were the case, why didn’t he choose to spend any of that time with her? But, but, but. [I] If only I could talk to Arrie about this,[/I] Autumn sighed. But that was the problem with a secret relationship, now wasn’t it? The only person she could really talk to about it was Kyle, and his wasn’t exactly an objective opinion, nor was it a feminine one. In lieu of her sister, Autumn would have accepted advice from Lanara, Xu… even Kavan in a pinch. She sometimes wondered if she’d gotten in over her head in choosing Kyle as her… what would she even call it? They were nowhere close to engaged (Gods! What a nightmare that would be explaining to Mother!), nor could she say they were intended. ‘Lovers’ was probably the closest, but the word had such a tawdry sound to her ear, it made their union sound cheap and crude. For a moment, Autumn wondered if her mother – her real mother – had thought these same thoughts when contemplating her own tryst with her celestial father. “Exactly what planet are you spending so much time on tonight?” asked Kyle, shaking her out of her train of thought. She’d completed her brushing of her horse without conscious thought, and had been standing unmoving at his flank for Bail knew how long. “None of your business,” she snapped, this time not caring that her irritation was coming out in her voice. He certainly hadn’t make things any easier on her recently, and it irked her that he was having a grand old time on this ship while she was ignored. Now Kyle was beginning to get annoyed. “Hey, what did I do?” “Nothing, Kyle. That’s the whole problem. You’re not doing anything.” She turned on her heel and began to head toward the stairs, when Kyle grabbed her arm, pulling her toward him. “Now wait just a minute…” They stared at each other, her brilliant blue eyes locked with his smoky blue-grays. The lock of Kyle’s black hair had fallen out of place again, dangling just to the side of his face. Now, instead of compelling, it just annoyed her. Kyle looked as if he were about to say something to her. She waited, expectantly. She had to have faith in him. Had to have faith that he’d say the right thing now, that he’d make all this go away. Make her feel warm, safe, and happy, like he did the first night they were together. Behind them, there was a noise as someone came down the stairs. Kyle held Autumn’s gaze for another moment, then his grip on her arm loosened, and he stepped back. “I’m sorry to hear you’re not enjoying the voyage,” he said, a bit too cheery. “I hope you can find some way to pass the time.” Her eyes blazed. “Don’t worry, Kyle. I will.” She stormed away, past a somewhat startled crewman coming down the stairs to check the cargo. She ended up back on the deck, looking out at the ocean from the bow. She fought furiously to keep the tears from falling. She was glad that Kyle hadn’t tried to find her after she left, or she might very well have thrown him overboard. Autumn couldn’t believe what had happened. She had thought that Kyle cared for her a great deal, but there was little evidence of that tonight. Had she misjudged him? Had his feelings for her waned? Had his feelings even been genuine? She wanted to believe the best. She wanted to think that someone could truly care for her in this world – a world where she had already given up so much of what she should have. But now, as the first moon began to emerge from the endless ocean, she wondered if she had been used and discarded, like her mother. The sound of heavy boots on the deck told her that someone was approaching. At first she thought it might be Kyle, and began searching for exactly the spot in the ocean she’d throw him in. But then she realized that the gait was wrong, and quickly took a deep breath to calm herself. Tolly stepped up next to Autumn at the railing. “Good evening, Autumn,” he said. “How are you tonight?” She had to suppress a bitter laugh. “I’m fine, Tolly. Just… having trouble sleeping. I guess I have a lot on my mind.” “Is there anything I can do?” She shook her head, then placed her hand atop his on the railing, squeezing softly. “You’ve already been a great comfort to me during this voyage, Tolly.” Tolly looked down at her hand resting on his for a long time. When he spoke, his voice was unusually quiet. “Autumn, I came out here looking for you because I have something I want to give you. I was glad that I caught you alone.” More alone than you realize, Autumn thought to herself. But to Tolly she said, “Something for me? Why, Tolly, I’m flattered. You shouldn’t have.” “Well, I… wanted to give this to you.” He was stumbling over his words now, and a flush was rising on his face. Reaching into a pouch at his side, he produced what looked at first like a simple white rose in the dim moonlight. But as Tolly placed it in Autumn’s hand, she felt the cool, smooth texture of metal. She examined the token closely. It was a rose, cold-forged from iron. She nearly gasped as she saw the intricacy of dozens of overlapping petals connected to a slender stem. “A token of affection,” Tolly said, almost whispering, “for a fellow adventurer true.” The world seemed to spin. “Tolly…” Autumn said, still staring at the rose. “You… shouldn’t have…” Despite this, however, her grip on the iron stem only tightened. Finally, she looked up at Tolly, her face a mask of emotion. “Thank you, Tolly. I’m…” She found she could not finish the thought – she had no words. For several minutes all she could do was look back and forth between the rose and Tolly. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and at times she thought she might faint. It was all too much for her. The tears, so long in coming, finally started to flow. “Tolly, I… I need some time to be alone… please?” She didn’t want for his response, but bolted toward the stairs, her vision blurry. Tolly stood watching Autumn leave, seeming unsure of what to do. He finally turned and stared out at the ocean, watching the second moon rise. Several minutes later, someone walked up behind him and stood at the rail. “Hey, Tolly,” said Kyle. “Good evening, Kyle.” “Hey, am I going to be able to use our room tomorrow? Did you finish that ‘special project’ you were talking about?” “Yes, I am finished.” “That’s great. How’d it turn out?” Tolly smiled a little. “Quite well, I think. Only time will tell. It was a bit of a chancy endeavor.” “Oh, I’m sure whatever it is will work out perfectly for you. You shouldn’t be afraid to take chances, Tolly.” “I think you may be right, Kyle.” Tolly pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket, wiping his forehead against the warmth of the near-equatorial night. Kyle noticed the gesture. “Say, that’s some beautiful embroidery work there,” he commented. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you had a sweetheart somewhere.” Tolly smiled and shrugged as he put the handkerchief away. “Oh, ho!” Kyle laughed. “Seems our forthright Ardaran priest has a few secrets! Come on, what’s her name?” Tolly opened his mouth to answer, but then Kyle slapped him on the back. “Oh, I’m just joking with you! Say, want to come down to the galley with me? If we hurry, we might be able to get in one more cup of rum before we turn in, before the crew starts tearing apart the barrel and sucking on the damp planks.” “No, thank you.” “Well, I could use one more stiff drink to end the night,” Kyle said, the good humor in his voice losing some of its fervor. “Something wrong, Kyle?” He shook his head and waved his hand dismissively in the air. “It’s nothing. Minor squabble with one of our friends today.” “Really? Who?” “It doesn’t matter, and I don’t want to embarrass them by naming names. Probably just getting antsy over this long voyage.” He looked slightly forlorn for a moment. “I just wish it hadn’t ended so rough between us. There were… things that needed to be said that weren’t.” “Well, perhaps you’ll have that chance tomorrow.” “Maybe. But maybe I’d best just let things lie for now. Just stay out of their way until things blow over.” Tolly nodded. “You could be right, Kyle.” “Sure,” Kyle agreed. “After all, no harm in waiting, right?" [/QUOTE]
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