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Message: <blockquote data-quote="bloodymage" data-source="post: 1369106" data-attributes="member: 4381">I just saw this thread. read through the whole thing, praying you were OK. I'll continue those prayers. There's no advice I can give you that hasn't been given, but maybe I can give you something else; a mirror that'll make you look attractive. To wit:<ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">I suffer from severe clinical depression, insomnia and sleep apnea.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">My mother died when I was 20.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">My sister, my only sibling, committed suicide when I was 23.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">I flunked out of UCLA. Now I know it was medical.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">I was mugged in the Navy causing permanent damage.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">I flunked out of college again, still unaware of my condition.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">My oldest son, adopted at 5, has had 27 life-threatening surgeries.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">My second son had open heart surgery at 5 years of age.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">My third son is ADD.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">My wife accused me of sexually abusing my sons and divorced me. She works for the DA. She got a permanent restraining order after CPS concluded there was nothing to investigate. She decided what was mine and what was hers and put "my" stuff in the garage, but would not allow me to pick it up. Our house foreclosed and what belongings she deemed mine were gone with it. I've never had enough money after the separation to hire a lawyer to fight her. I haven't had any contact with my boys since November, 1997.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">My father died in 1999 of Lou Gehrig's Disease. He was the last of any family I had.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Money from my retirement, ~$24K, intended to clear a bunch of wreckage from my life, was sucked out of my account by the courts for a debt my ex-wife had told me was paid. </li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">My heat is turned off because I can't pay for it.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">I just got my phone back on.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">I just received a 30-day termination letter from the USPS because I've been AWOL due to a depressive bout.</li> </ul>All of this and more, from a kid who was nominated to the Naval Academy and received a full four-year scholarship to UCLA! I'm 51 years old now and I've gone through enough to kill a horse and there's no sign of it letting up. What's good about life? I'm alive. I wonder at that every day. I have no one, I have nothing, there's no bright future left, but I marvel at the miracle that God has given me the obstinancy to drag it out to the bitter end.Buck up, kiddo. Your life ain't really that bad. Give it a few more decades. I'll betcha things turn out better for you than they have for me.  <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f609.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=";)" title="Wink    ;)"  data-smilie="2"data-shortname=";)" /></blockquote>

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