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<blockquote data-quote="Hairy Minotaur" data-source="post: 3986525" data-attributes="member: 11574"><p><strong>Oggy Woggy want kissy kissy</strong></p><p></p><p>Xanthos’ bodily control returns to him in a jerk as the shifter falls to the floor and pounds away at the stones beneath him with his bare fists.</p><p></p><p>“No, they’ve taken my heart a second time.” Xanthos sobs</p><p></p><p>Eeyore tires out his new organ, it clicks as it moves sounding like hundreds of insects crawling over stone. Testing its hardness, Eeyore is impressed with the increased protection this new skin seems to promise him. </p><p></p><p>“You people are either desperate or crazy to want a Slithilar implant, I think death by slaad would’ve been better they’re only crazy.” The human cleric Menthos located states</p><p></p><p>“So you know of such things? What else does this do?” Eeyore asks</p><p></p><p>“It took away your manhood and left you a eunuch.” Menthos observes</p><p></p><p>Eeyore tried to bend over to see but found the skin had locked in place, “mmph, elph eh kahnt moof.”</p><p></p><p>For several seconds the ranger was unable to move, even his lips refused to part and he was forced to muffle his replies through his closed mouth. Xanthos felt hot and cold at the same time as hormones shot through his bloodstream causing his to have blackout spells and fits of twitchiness. Transforming into a tiger, Xanthos found the going a little easier.</p><p></p><p>“What’s wrong with me?” Xanthos pleads to the cleric</p><p></p><p>“How should I know? I don’t make implants, you’ll have to find a Slithilar and talk to them.” The man replied</p><p></p><p>“Where can I find one?” Xanthos inquired</p><p></p><p>“Croy.” Adokul spoke up, “But you can only get there with a guide, and I don’t know any of sufficient power who are capable of this.”</p><p></p><p>“Well, first we have to get out of here.” Haimish states, “and what’s your name stranger?”</p><p></p><p>“Kourk, follower of Zenkeef the Mischief.” Comes the reply</p><p></p><p>“Doopa know of Zenkeef, many good parties had by her name.” The ogre comments</p><p></p><p>“Yes, it’s what kept me from instant death by the slaads; they loved my dancing so much they prolonged my life until you could rescue me.” Kourk replies</p><p></p><p>“Who said you were rescued?” Menthos interjects</p><p></p><p>A confused Kourk turns around, “I er, assumed that I ah.”</p><p></p><p>“Don’t you ever feel guilty playing with people’s emotions like that?” Haimish asks</p><p></p><p>“I only do to people who would do the same to me if they were any smarter.” Menthos answers</p><p></p><p>“So you use arrogance to cancel guilt?” Haimish inquires</p><p></p><p>“It’s a good system.” Menthos responds</p><p></p><p>“Oh I see, I’m the butt of the joke. I need to score me some alcohol and goodberries, I’m too sober to understand your sarcasm.” Kourk states</p><p></p><p>Xanthos retrieves his former heart off the floor and returns to the party while wrapping it in cloth, “First we wipe out all the orcs in this hell and make sure their souls are tortured even in the afterlife.”</p><p></p><p>“You seem to have anger management issues, perhaps a roll in the hay with Zenkeef will lighten your troubled spirits?” Kourk offers</p><p></p><p> “Back away preacher man, if you’re not coming with me then stay here and watch time dissolve into a wasted life.” Xanthos answers</p><p></p><p>“Touchy.” Kourk says</p><p></p><p>“It’s that time of the month.” Menthos answers</p><p></p><p>Xanthos walks out into the hallway and turns to the right heading away from the stairs leading up, the rest of the group soon acquiesces as one by one they join Xanthos making the next person’s decision that much easier. </p><p></p><p>The party comes to a closed wooden door, not bothering to listen for sound from the other side, Xanthos kicks the door in to find a room with a thick layer of frost on every surface. A large stack of bodies occupies the right half of the room. Xanthos strides right in just ahead of the rest of the party, upon reaching the midway point, the pile of bodies shifts as a dozen zombies rise to battle the group.</p><p></p><p>Xanthos transforms into treant and clears a wide swath of undead from the party’s path. Doopa dives into combat swinging his club at anything that gets near him. Haimish breaks into song which brings Kourk into a dancing mood and he quickly begins dancing to the bard’s tune. Eeyore moves up to cover the rear flank of the group, he manages a swing on a zombie before his skin locks up again and he remains motionless for the zombies to pound away at. </p><p></p><p>Menthos launches a salvo of eldritch blasts into the zombies around Eeyore, spellless and weaponless, Adokul could only cheer on the teifling. </p><p></p><p>Xanthos and Doopa however are able to finish off the zombies without any further assistance and the party moves on to the next door for Xanthos to kick in. This room however is devoid of anything but frost.</p><p></p><p>“Why is it so cold down here?” Adokul observes</p><p></p><p>“Something opened a gate to the elemental plane of ice, we’ve been hunting down that mystery but the peevish one keeps getting distracted by orcs, lucky it now appears the two are related since no one would intentionally create an orccicle that would taste like excrement.” Menthos relates</p><p></p><p>“I don’t think it would be so bad if I was wearing something befitting a man of my stature.” Adokul states</p><p></p><p>“Are you a king?” Haimish asks</p><p></p><p>“No, I’m a student of the Mystic Arts.” The wizard answers</p><p></p><p>Menthos eldritch blasts the pile of dead bodies, “can you do that?”</p><p></p><p>Adokul shakes his head, Menthos fires a dozen more blasts into the pile of dead bodies in the room behind them, “how about that?” </p><p></p><p>Again Adokul shakes his head. “Then shut up.” Menthos demands</p><p></p><p>Xanthos breaks down the next door and the party can here a great din coming down the hallway beyond the room.</p><p></p><p>“At last! I have found the cowardly little bugs.” Xanthos squeals and rushes down the hallway followed by Eeyore and Doopa.</p><p></p><p>All three skid to a stop as the hallway turns and enters a huge amphitheater where dozens of undead mill about watching a lone figure work over a stone circle mounted on the wall on the theater’s stage.</p><p></p><p>A disappointing breath escapes the shifter as he realizes there are no orcs in this room. Doopa however is more than thrilled to knock prone permanently a few undead, he steps into the room along with Eeyore. From across the room another entrance lurks this one populated with demons, as Doopa swings his tree through the bodies of nearby undead the rest of the room is alerted to their presence. </p><p></p><p>A <em>blade barrier </em> goes up in-between Xanthos and Eeyore and then a telekinetic shove is used against both Eeyore and Doopa and they are flung back through the <em>blade barrier</em>. The wet slick sound of ripping flesh echoes back up the hallway as the two bodies flop to the ground next to Xanthos. </p><p></p><p>“Argh! Why can’t I find any orcs?” Xanthos shouts and transforms into a will-o-wisp and moves through the <em>blade barrier </em> and into the room </p><p></p><p>At this intrusion, three invisible stalkers are called forth to deal with the incorporeal Xanthos. The rest of the party skids to a stop before the <em>blade barrier</em>. Eeyore and Doopa moan their way to a sitting position.</p><p></p><p>“Can you help them?” Haimish asks Kourk</p><p></p><p>Kourk walks over to Doopa and spying a still bleeding wound, applies pressure to it and give it a kiss.</p><p></p><p>“There, does the big oggy woggy fell better wetter after the kissy kissy?” Kourk asks</p><p></p><p>“I believe Haimish said help them, not nauseate them.” Menthos remarks</p><p></p><p>“When did I get the chance to pray for spells? What would you have me do?” Kourk asks</p><p></p><p>“Pray Doopa didn’t here you talk baby to him.” Haimish says</p><p></p><p>The three invisible stalkers push Xanthos back towards the blade barrier where the lone figure on the theater stage begins laying <em>walls of force </em> around Xanthos blocking him in.</p><p></p><p>“Uh oh, Xanthos is trapped.” Adokul mentions</p><p></p><p>“Here help me drag Eeyore and Doopa back up to the empty room.” Menthos directs Kourk</p><p></p><p>“Shouldn’t we help Xanthos?” Haimish asks</p><p></p><p>“I can’t put him out of his misery through a <em>wall of force</em>, I’m sure he’ll figure something out.” Menthos states</p><p></p><p>The lone figure motions across the circular stone and in its place a corridor of darkness grows, devouring all matter in its wake until the gate is stabilized. The figure motions for the zombies to march into the gate as the demons quickly cross the amphitheater to deal with the interlopers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hairy Minotaur, post: 3986525, member: 11574"] [b]Oggy Woggy want kissy kissy[/b] Xanthos’ bodily control returns to him in a jerk as the shifter falls to the floor and pounds away at the stones beneath him with his bare fists. “No, they’ve taken my heart a second time.” Xanthos sobs Eeyore tires out his new organ, it clicks as it moves sounding like hundreds of insects crawling over stone. Testing its hardness, Eeyore is impressed with the increased protection this new skin seems to promise him. “You people are either desperate or crazy to want a Slithilar implant, I think death by slaad would’ve been better they’re only crazy.” The human cleric Menthos located states “So you know of such things? What else does this do?” Eeyore asks “It took away your manhood and left you a eunuch.” Menthos observes Eeyore tried to bend over to see but found the skin had locked in place, “mmph, elph eh kahnt moof.” For several seconds the ranger was unable to move, even his lips refused to part and he was forced to muffle his replies through his closed mouth. Xanthos felt hot and cold at the same time as hormones shot through his bloodstream causing his to have blackout spells and fits of twitchiness. Transforming into a tiger, Xanthos found the going a little easier. “What’s wrong with me?” Xanthos pleads to the cleric “How should I know? I don’t make implants, you’ll have to find a Slithilar and talk to them.” The man replied “Where can I find one?” Xanthos inquired “Croy.” Adokul spoke up, “But you can only get there with a guide, and I don’t know any of sufficient power who are capable of this.” “Well, first we have to get out of here.” Haimish states, “and what’s your name stranger?” “Kourk, follower of Zenkeef the Mischief.” Comes the reply “Doopa know of Zenkeef, many good parties had by her name.” The ogre comments “Yes, it’s what kept me from instant death by the slaads; they loved my dancing so much they prolonged my life until you could rescue me.” Kourk replies “Who said you were rescued?” Menthos interjects A confused Kourk turns around, “I er, assumed that I ah.” “Don’t you ever feel guilty playing with people’s emotions like that?” Haimish asks “I only do to people who would do the same to me if they were any smarter.” Menthos answers “So you use arrogance to cancel guilt?” Haimish inquires “It’s a good system.” Menthos responds “Oh I see, I’m the butt of the joke. I need to score me some alcohol and goodberries, I’m too sober to understand your sarcasm.” Kourk states Xanthos retrieves his former heart off the floor and returns to the party while wrapping it in cloth, “First we wipe out all the orcs in this hell and make sure their souls are tortured even in the afterlife.” “You seem to have anger management issues, perhaps a roll in the hay with Zenkeef will lighten your troubled spirits?” Kourk offers “Back away preacher man, if you’re not coming with me then stay here and watch time dissolve into a wasted life.” Xanthos answers “Touchy.” Kourk says “It’s that time of the month.” Menthos answers Xanthos walks out into the hallway and turns to the right heading away from the stairs leading up, the rest of the group soon acquiesces as one by one they join Xanthos making the next person’s decision that much easier. The party comes to a closed wooden door, not bothering to listen for sound from the other side, Xanthos kicks the door in to find a room with a thick layer of frost on every surface. A large stack of bodies occupies the right half of the room. Xanthos strides right in just ahead of the rest of the party, upon reaching the midway point, the pile of bodies shifts as a dozen zombies rise to battle the group. Xanthos transforms into treant and clears a wide swath of undead from the party’s path. Doopa dives into combat swinging his club at anything that gets near him. Haimish breaks into song which brings Kourk into a dancing mood and he quickly begins dancing to the bard’s tune. Eeyore moves up to cover the rear flank of the group, he manages a swing on a zombie before his skin locks up again and he remains motionless for the zombies to pound away at. Menthos launches a salvo of eldritch blasts into the zombies around Eeyore, spellless and weaponless, Adokul could only cheer on the teifling. Xanthos and Doopa however are able to finish off the zombies without any further assistance and the party moves on to the next door for Xanthos to kick in. This room however is devoid of anything but frost. “Why is it so cold down here?” Adokul observes “Something opened a gate to the elemental plane of ice, we’ve been hunting down that mystery but the peevish one keeps getting distracted by orcs, lucky it now appears the two are related since no one would intentionally create an orccicle that would taste like excrement.” Menthos relates “I don’t think it would be so bad if I was wearing something befitting a man of my stature.” Adokul states “Are you a king?” Haimish asks “No, I’m a student of the Mystic Arts.” The wizard answers Menthos eldritch blasts the pile of dead bodies, “can you do that?” Adokul shakes his head, Menthos fires a dozen more blasts into the pile of dead bodies in the room behind them, “how about that?” Again Adokul shakes his head. “Then shut up.” Menthos demands Xanthos breaks down the next door and the party can here a great din coming down the hallway beyond the room. “At last! I have found the cowardly little bugs.” Xanthos squeals and rushes down the hallway followed by Eeyore and Doopa. All three skid to a stop as the hallway turns and enters a huge amphitheater where dozens of undead mill about watching a lone figure work over a stone circle mounted on the wall on the theater’s stage. A disappointing breath escapes the shifter as he realizes there are no orcs in this room. Doopa however is more than thrilled to knock prone permanently a few undead, he steps into the room along with Eeyore. From across the room another entrance lurks this one populated with demons, as Doopa swings his tree through the bodies of nearby undead the rest of the room is alerted to their presence. A [I]blade barrier [/I] goes up in-between Xanthos and Eeyore and then a telekinetic shove is used against both Eeyore and Doopa and they are flung back through the [I]blade barrier[/I]. The wet slick sound of ripping flesh echoes back up the hallway as the two bodies flop to the ground next to Xanthos. “Argh! Why can’t I find any orcs?” Xanthos shouts and transforms into a will-o-wisp and moves through the [I]blade barrier [/I] and into the room At this intrusion, three invisible stalkers are called forth to deal with the incorporeal Xanthos. The rest of the party skids to a stop before the [I]blade barrier[/I]. Eeyore and Doopa moan their way to a sitting position. “Can you help them?” Haimish asks Kourk Kourk walks over to Doopa and spying a still bleeding wound, applies pressure to it and give it a kiss. “There, does the big oggy woggy fell better wetter after the kissy kissy?” Kourk asks “I believe Haimish said help them, not nauseate them.” Menthos remarks “When did I get the chance to pray for spells? What would you have me do?” Kourk asks “Pray Doopa didn’t here you talk baby to him.” Haimish says The three invisible stalkers push Xanthos back towards the blade barrier where the lone figure on the theater stage begins laying [I]walls of force [/I] around Xanthos blocking him in. “Uh oh, Xanthos is trapped.” Adokul mentions “Here help me drag Eeyore and Doopa back up to the empty room.” Menthos directs Kourk “Shouldn’t we help Xanthos?” Haimish asks “I can’t put him out of his misery through a [I]wall of force[/I], I’m sure he’ll figure something out.” Menthos states The lone figure motions across the circular stone and in its place a corridor of darkness grows, devouring all matter in its wake until the gate is stabilized. The figure motions for the zombies to march into the gate as the demons quickly cross the amphitheater to deal with the interlopers. [/QUOTE]
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