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The Art and the Artist: Discussing Problematic Issues in D&D
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<blockquote data-quote="Bill Zebub" data-source="post: 8527649" data-attributes="member: 7031982"><p>My initial reaction to the sudden shift toward "making someone uncomfortable" was to be angry. Like, apoplectically, forehead-vein-popping, outraged.</p><p></p><p>Asking for money makes me uncomfortable. Skiing steep trees makes me uncomfortable. Sprained ankles make me uncomfortable.</p><p></p><p>Furthermore, the common wisdom is to "lean into discomfort." I need to practice asking for money so that it doesn't make me uncomfortable. I need to work on my tree technique. (Sprained ankles...not so much.)</p><p></p><p>So to describe what we are talking about...people whose ancestors have suffered, and who themselves still suffer, the consequences of racism/oppression/slavery, seeing the same language and images used for centuries to justify that mistreatment now being used in a lighthearted way in a game to likewise justify the joyful slaughter of fictional characters...it just sort of takes my breath away.</p><p></p><p>What I was intending to do was try to draw an analogy. "What if you, having suffered X, saw the game full of Y?" And I really struggled to do so, for the simple reason that I'm as privileged as they come. The most suffering I've endured in my life includes getting very gently fired from a job I hated and didn't need, getting rejected by a woman who THANK GOD I didn't marry, and that time the doc didn't cover a large enough area with local anesthetic before putting in stitches. I mean, those are seriously the worst things I've had to suffer. So I genuinely don't know what could possibly be in a game that might cause me emotional pain.</p><p></p><p>I try to put myself in the shoes of people who have face discrimination on a daily basis, or who are descended from slaves and have no family history predating that, or who try to shut out that memory of sexual assault but can't, or who don't have any relatives because they were all killed by the regime in their home country, or who spent years living in one refugee camp after another....or all of the above. </p><p></p><p>And, of course, I can't. I can't put myself in their shoes. I just don't have anything in my experience to compare that to. There is nothing in my experience to use as an analogy.</p><p></p><p>So all I can do is believe them when they say, "This thing causes me pain." And I do; I do believe them. Maybe they're exaggerating. Maybe it's not really that much pain. Maybe it's just the same kind of discomfort I feel about asking for money. I really have no idea. But I choose to believe them because:</p><p>1) My life is $%@#ing awesome and I can afford to believe them.</p><p>2) All they are asking me to do is make some trivial changes to a make-believe game of elves and dragons.</p><p></p><p>So maybe, just maybe, the disconnect here is that while I cannot possibly imagine what it's like to be in their shoes, but I choose to believe them, other people who also cannot possibly imagine what it is like to be in their shoes just...simply can't imagine it. That they just simply can't see how words in a game could cause anything more than vague discomfort, and so that's how they interpret it. It's not malice it's just...it's just they don't believe how it could be any worse than anything they could imagine for themselves.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, that's the most charitable interpretation I can come up with.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Bill Zebub, post: 8527649, member: 7031982"] My initial reaction to the sudden shift toward "making someone uncomfortable" was to be angry. Like, apoplectically, forehead-vein-popping, outraged. Asking for money makes me uncomfortable. Skiing steep trees makes me uncomfortable. Sprained ankles make me uncomfortable. Furthermore, the common wisdom is to "lean into discomfort." I need to practice asking for money so that it doesn't make me uncomfortable. I need to work on my tree technique. (Sprained ankles...not so much.) So to describe what we are talking about...people whose ancestors have suffered, and who themselves still suffer, the consequences of racism/oppression/slavery, seeing the same language and images used for centuries to justify that mistreatment now being used in a lighthearted way in a game to likewise justify the joyful slaughter of fictional characters...it just sort of takes my breath away. What I was intending to do was try to draw an analogy. "What if you, having suffered X, saw the game full of Y?" And I really struggled to do so, for the simple reason that I'm as privileged as they come. The most suffering I've endured in my life includes getting very gently fired from a job I hated and didn't need, getting rejected by a woman who THANK GOD I didn't marry, and that time the doc didn't cover a large enough area with local anesthetic before putting in stitches. I mean, those are seriously the worst things I've had to suffer. So I genuinely don't know what could possibly be in a game that might cause me emotional pain. I try to put myself in the shoes of people who have face discrimination on a daily basis, or who are descended from slaves and have no family history predating that, or who try to shut out that memory of sexual assault but can't, or who don't have any relatives because they were all killed by the regime in their home country, or who spent years living in one refugee camp after another....or all of the above. And, of course, I can't. I can't put myself in their shoes. I just don't have anything in my experience to compare that to. There is nothing in my experience to use as an analogy. So all I can do is believe them when they say, "This thing causes me pain." And I do; I do believe them. Maybe they're exaggerating. Maybe it's not really that much pain. Maybe it's just the same kind of discomfort I feel about asking for money. I really have no idea. But I choose to believe them because: 1) My life is $%@#ing awesome and I can afford to believe them. 2) All they are asking me to do is make some trivial changes to a make-believe game of elves and dragons. So maybe, just maybe, the disconnect here is that while I cannot possibly imagine what it's like to be in their shoes, but I choose to believe them, other people who also cannot possibly imagine what it is like to be in their shoes just...simply can't imagine it. That they just simply can't see how words in a game could cause anything more than vague discomfort, and so that's how they interpret it. It's not malice it's just...it's just they don't believe how it could be any worse than anything they could imagine for themselves. Anyway, that's the most charitable interpretation I can come up with. [/QUOTE]
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