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THE BIG "D"---i never thought it would be me:(
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<blockquote data-quote="Dannyalcatraz" data-source="post: 2380651" data-attributes="member: 19675"><p>I am a lawyer who used to do some family law.</p><p></p><p>Its been said before, but it bears repeating: <strong>Get an attorney.</strong> Get the best one you can afford...maybe the best you can just barely not afford. You want a bulldog in court and negotiations. Bulldogs look out for you when you are too depressed to look out for yourself.</p><p></p><p>(Personal note- I have a good friend who didn't have a bulldog...she not only lost in the community property division because he hid stuff in offshore accounts, the bastard even took some of her family heirlooms. <strong>Don't let that be you</strong>.)</p><p></p><p>Why? Amicable divorces are rare. In divorces where one person rolls over and plays dead, that someone usually gets screwed.</p><p></p><p>Seperate your finances as soon as possible and let all relevant parties know you're no longer responsible for your wife's debts. Notify the credit agencies.</p><p></p><p>SHUT DOWN ALL JOINT CREDIT CARDS. You don't need her or "her user friends" ruining your credit rating.</p><p></p><p>Whenever possible, be nice- especially in front of Spidertrag Jr. Be nice until it hurts. Then be nice some more. Little kids tend to repeat what they see and hear...and you don't want that to show up in court.</p><p></p><p>If your soon to be Ex-Ms. Spidertrag wants to get nasty- harrasing phone calls, not dropping off the kiddo, keep a log. Keep it with you like a day-runner. Anything that bears on the health and wellbeing of the kid should also be logged. Ex & kid are staying with a guy who just got busted for DUI? Log it! Ex missed dropping off the kiddo for a regularly scheduled visit? Log it? Ex spending child support on a new HDTV? Log it! Any of that can be grounds for altering custody arrangements.</p><p></p><p>ASAP- find out about your state's child support and alimony/palimony laws. You don't want to wake up one day to discover your paycheck has been garnished (in some jurisdictions, this can be done even <em>before</em> the divorce is finalized).</p><p></p><p>Know the details of every agreement in the process you sign. You don't want to be a day late or a dollar short on anything.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Dannyalcatraz, post: 2380651, member: 19675"] I am a lawyer who used to do some family law. Its been said before, but it bears repeating: [B]Get an attorney.[/B] Get the best one you can afford...maybe the best you can just barely not afford. You want a bulldog in court and negotiations. Bulldogs look out for you when you are too depressed to look out for yourself. (Personal note- I have a good friend who didn't have a bulldog...she not only lost in the community property division because he hid stuff in offshore accounts, the bastard even took some of her family heirlooms. [B]Don't let that be you[/B].) Why? Amicable divorces are rare. In divorces where one person rolls over and plays dead, that someone usually gets screwed. Seperate your finances as soon as possible and let all relevant parties know you're no longer responsible for your wife's debts. Notify the credit agencies. SHUT DOWN ALL JOINT CREDIT CARDS. You don't need her or "her user friends" ruining your credit rating. Whenever possible, be nice- especially in front of Spidertrag Jr. Be nice until it hurts. Then be nice some more. Little kids tend to repeat what they see and hear...and you don't want that to show up in court. If your soon to be Ex-Ms. Spidertrag wants to get nasty- harrasing phone calls, not dropping off the kiddo, keep a log. Keep it with you like a day-runner. Anything that bears on the health and wellbeing of the kid should also be logged. Ex & kid are staying with a guy who just got busted for DUI? Log it! Ex missed dropping off the kiddo for a regularly scheduled visit? Log it? Ex spending child support on a new HDTV? Log it! Any of that can be grounds for altering custody arrangements. ASAP- find out about your state's child support and alimony/palimony laws. You don't want to wake up one day to discover your paycheck has been garnished (in some jurisdictions, this can be done even [I]before[/I] the divorce is finalized). Know the details of every agreement in the process you sign. You don't want to be a day late or a dollar short on anything. [/QUOTE]
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