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THE BIG "D"---i never thought it would be me:(
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<blockquote data-quote="Old One" data-source="post: 2384810" data-attributes="member: 83"><p>I will add to the chorus...</p><p></p><p>Consult a lawyer <strong><em>NOW</em></strong>. It doesn't mean you absotulely need to retain one (since divorce only make divorce lawyers rich), but you need to know what your rights, oblitgations and protetive measures should be.</p><p></p><p>It does sound to me like you have been set up. Happened to one of my best friends from college. Wife and kids go to sister's house for a visit in another state, he goes for a visit, assault allegation/charges are filed with sister as "witness", joint bank accounts cleaned out. His divorce took two years and she got him thrown in jail by filing a complaint that he had been verbally abusive on the phone...got him 10 days in a lovely Florida jail. Make sure you protect yourself.</p><p></p><p>I agree that you should fight for custody of your daughter (or at least joint custody), otherwise you run the risk of becoming a faceless checkbook while your wife lines up her next meal ticket. However, as "enlightened" as we would like to think family courts are in the 21st century, the sad fact is that the wife/mother still holds all the cards in many state family courts...most dads are considered to be deadbeat, alcoholic abusers even before the first motion is filed.</p><p></p><p>Stop your direct deposit ASAP and document everything - dates, times, payments (use only checks, no cash). Immediately cancel or freeze all joint accounts (including credit cards, store accounts, gas cards) so you don't get stuck with a bunch of unpaid debts.</p><p></p><p>As far as "dying alone"...I can empathize. My first (and disasterous) marriage ended in divorce at the 7 year mark. Although I couldn't see it at the time, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Got remarried a couple of years later...have two great kids...am much more successfully professionally than I ever was with my psycho practice wife.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there...protect yourself...don't be a doormat...you will get through it.</p><p></p><p>~ OO</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Old One, post: 2384810, member: 83"] I will add to the chorus... Consult a lawyer [B][I]NOW[/I][/B]. It doesn't mean you absotulely need to retain one (since divorce only make divorce lawyers rich), but you need to know what your rights, oblitgations and protetive measures should be. It does sound to me like you have been set up. Happened to one of my best friends from college. Wife and kids go to sister's house for a visit in another state, he goes for a visit, assault allegation/charges are filed with sister as "witness", joint bank accounts cleaned out. His divorce took two years and she got him thrown in jail by filing a complaint that he had been verbally abusive on the phone...got him 10 days in a lovely Florida jail. Make sure you protect yourself. I agree that you should fight for custody of your daughter (or at least joint custody), otherwise you run the risk of becoming a faceless checkbook while your wife lines up her next meal ticket. However, as "enlightened" as we would like to think family courts are in the 21st century, the sad fact is that the wife/mother still holds all the cards in many state family courts...most dads are considered to be deadbeat, alcoholic abusers even before the first motion is filed. Stop your direct deposit ASAP and document everything - dates, times, payments (use only checks, no cash). Immediately cancel or freeze all joint accounts (including credit cards, store accounts, gas cards) so you don't get stuck with a bunch of unpaid debts. As far as "dying alone"...I can empathize. My first (and disasterous) marriage ended in divorce at the 7 year mark. Although I couldn't see it at the time, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Got remarried a couple of years later...have two great kids...am much more successfully professionally than I ever was with my psycho practice wife. Hang in there...protect yourself...don't be a doormat...you will get through it. ~ OO [/QUOTE]
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