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The Chronicle of Burne, and Some Others of Lesser Importance *Updated May 17th, 2009*
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<blockquote data-quote="Rolzup" data-source="post: 2822997" data-attributes="member: 10105"><p><strong>Interlude: Sociology and Tactics</strong></p><p></p><p><Aboard the Wretched Excess, just off the coast of St. Tarte's Island, in the Straits of Narayan></p><p></p><p>A skeleton crew is left aboard the Excess, with the rest of its able seaman aboard the derelict MCSDF Windsprint. Ahead, the St. Tarte's Lighthouse --the Lamp of Love-- is dark. From the top of lighthouse tower a large Ping Tiki-torch burns instead.</p><p></p><p>"They're signaling to their brown-skinned brothers," says Captain Spar. "Just like the raiders of old. First they send ships full of barbarian warriors, faces painted with cocoa-butter, smelling of coconut oil and death. Then the fat catamarans would come. To take away anything that was worth anything. Like the people. And by people I mean women. Damned Ping-men, can't get enough of the white women!"</p><p></p><p>"Neither can you, dad," chimes in Shalom Spar.</p><p></p><p>"Make that 'Any woman with a pulse'," says Sahib Spar.</p><p></p><p>"The point I'm making, you ingrates," says the Captain, "Is that you all don't have much time before St. Tarte's is swarming with more Ping than you can shake a belaying pin at. That is, if that fire up there really is a signal. Could be they're just roasting up a pig...."</p><p></p><p>Rackhir says "Would putting the signal fire out stop the reinforcements from coming?"</p><p></p><p>"Indeed it might. It'll certainly be guarded. Might even be one of their witch-doctors tending it. Fire is sacred to the Ping. You can't see it from here, but I'd bet my ship that the fire up there is burning in a big metal pot cast in the likeness of Tiki-Ishii, the Polyneecheean's savage god. He's</p><p>a volcano, you know."</p><p></p><p>"Polyneecheeans?" inquires Mallus.</p><p></p><p>"It's what the Ping call themselves" says Sahib Spar. "It means 'The many followers of Nee Chee'. He was a great shaman who led his people off their ancestral home on Tiki-Ishii right before it exploded. They came to settle in the Ping Islands. Mostly on Big Ping and Little Ping. With a few settlements on Ping Three, Pang and Pong."</p><p></p><p>"I see your mother wasted a good deal of <em>my</em> money on <em>your</em> education" says the Captain, "And yet, you still came to me for a job."</p><p></p><p>"The Polyneecheeans are an evil people", concludes Sahib Spar. "They believe they're the master race. They're brown-supremacists, you know."</p><p></p><p>Captain Spar interjects, "See there, past the lighthouse to the left, that's the Plage d'Homme, and past that is the port of Sanctum...."</p><p></p><p>"Don't you mean Skanktum?" says one son.</p><p></p><p>"Spanktum," says the other.</p><p></p><p>"I mean what I say," the Captain says gruffly, "Unless I'm married to you. Now, Sanctum should be lit up like a festival, even in the off-season, but see, it's dark. And look at those ribbons of smoke, those aren't from cooking. Not even Samira could burn a meal that badly..."</p><p></p><p>"That's my mother!" says Sahib.</p><p></p><p>"You have my sympathies," says the Captain. "And look there, those lights on the hill, that's the Shrine of St. Tarte's Bodice. It used to be a fort a few centuries ago. Back before the League of Cities, during the Pirate Times. From what I've heard, it's got a big dungeon where they used to torture pirates and political prisoners. The priestesses still use it, though not exactly in the same way. The shrine is easily defensible and full of loose women. If I were a lusty barbarian, that's where I'd hole up."</p><p></p><p>"What do you mean 'if''?" says Sahib in a hurt, quiet voice.</p><p></p><p>Kenji-sama interupts this awkward moment for the Spar family. "Let us first discuss our goals when we land. Do we intend to defeat the entire invading force? Do we intend to simply retrieve Joachim? Perhaps we want to rescue Joachim and put out the signal fire? Obviously, we may need to change our goals after we explore the situation, but what is our intention? One suspects that defeating the invading force would hold much reward, and grave danger."</p><p></p><p>"Joachim is, and should remain, our primary target...ah, goal. Goal. That said, if we could put out the signal fire we would be making their lives much more difficult...which is all to the good, damn their coconut-scented hides," Burne says.</p><p></p><p>He shrugs. "I'm willing to make the effort to put the beacon-fire out, although <em>extinguishing</em> flames goes against everything I hold dear. I'm sure it won't be difficult; after all, they're just barbarians. But we should secure Joachim first and foremost."</p><p></p><p>"What about the Windsprint's captain?" replies the elder Spar. "If he's still alive, he's worth something to my retirement fund. I mean to all of us...."</p><p></p><p>Meanwhile Mallus and Delphine stand at the port rail, looking towards the island. Without asking he takes her hand; a surprisingly sensual and inappropriate gesture. She doesn't resist.</p><p></p><p>He says, "What do you know...I can get a finer reading. Joachim is definitely not in the lighthouse, he's near the town, no, behind it, at the shrine. OK, so that was obvious to those of you using logic, but I was using metaphysics."</p><p></p><p>After a moment of silence Mallus says to Delphine, "You must really need a good, hard...embrace."</p><p></p><p><em><strong>DM's Note:</strong> MCSDF is an acronym of Monopolis Combined Self-Defense Force. "Monopolis" is the legal name for CITY.</em></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Rolzup, post: 2822997, member: 10105"] [b]Interlude: Sociology and Tactics[/b] <Aboard the Wretched Excess, just off the coast of St. Tarte's Island, in the Straits of Narayan> A skeleton crew is left aboard the Excess, with the rest of its able seaman aboard the derelict MCSDF Windsprint. Ahead, the St. Tarte's Lighthouse --the Lamp of Love-- is dark. From the top of lighthouse tower a large Ping Tiki-torch burns instead. "They're signaling to their brown-skinned brothers," says Captain Spar. "Just like the raiders of old. First they send ships full of barbarian warriors, faces painted with cocoa-butter, smelling of coconut oil and death. Then the fat catamarans would come. To take away anything that was worth anything. Like the people. And by people I mean women. Damned Ping-men, can't get enough of the white women!" "Neither can you, dad," chimes in Shalom Spar. "Make that 'Any woman with a pulse'," says Sahib Spar. "The point I'm making, you ingrates," says the Captain, "Is that you all don't have much time before St. Tarte's is swarming with more Ping than you can shake a belaying pin at. That is, if that fire up there really is a signal. Could be they're just roasting up a pig...." Rackhir says "Would putting the signal fire out stop the reinforcements from coming?" "Indeed it might. It'll certainly be guarded. Might even be one of their witch-doctors tending it. Fire is sacred to the Ping. You can't see it from here, but I'd bet my ship that the fire up there is burning in a big metal pot cast in the likeness of Tiki-Ishii, the Polyneecheean's savage god. He's a volcano, you know." "Polyneecheeans?" inquires Mallus. "It's what the Ping call themselves" says Sahib Spar. "It means 'The many followers of Nee Chee'. He was a great shaman who led his people off their ancestral home on Tiki-Ishii right before it exploded. They came to settle in the Ping Islands. Mostly on Big Ping and Little Ping. With a few settlements on Ping Three, Pang and Pong." "I see your mother wasted a good deal of [i]my[/i] money on [i]your[/i] education" says the Captain, "And yet, you still came to me for a job." "The Polyneecheeans are an evil people", concludes Sahib Spar. "They believe they're the master race. They're brown-supremacists, you know." Captain Spar interjects, "See there, past the lighthouse to the left, that's the Plage d'Homme, and past that is the port of Sanctum...." "Don't you mean Skanktum?" says one son. "Spanktum," says the other. "I mean what I say," the Captain says gruffly, "Unless I'm married to you. Now, Sanctum should be lit up like a festival, even in the off-season, but see, it's dark. And look at those ribbons of smoke, those aren't from cooking. Not even Samira could burn a meal that badly..." "That's my mother!" says Sahib. "You have my sympathies," says the Captain. "And look there, those lights on the hill, that's the Shrine of St. Tarte's Bodice. It used to be a fort a few centuries ago. Back before the League of Cities, during the Pirate Times. From what I've heard, it's got a big dungeon where they used to torture pirates and political prisoners. The priestesses still use it, though not exactly in the same way. The shrine is easily defensible and full of loose women. If I were a lusty barbarian, that's where I'd hole up." "What do you mean 'if''?" says Sahib in a hurt, quiet voice. Kenji-sama interupts this awkward moment for the Spar family. "Let us first discuss our goals when we land. Do we intend to defeat the entire invading force? Do we intend to simply retrieve Joachim? Perhaps we want to rescue Joachim and put out the signal fire? Obviously, we may need to change our goals after we explore the situation, but what is our intention? One suspects that defeating the invading force would hold much reward, and grave danger." "Joachim is, and should remain, our primary target...ah, goal. Goal. That said, if we could put out the signal fire we would be making their lives much more difficult...which is all to the good, damn their coconut-scented hides," Burne says. He shrugs. "I'm willing to make the effort to put the beacon-fire out, although [i]extinguishing[/i] flames goes against everything I hold dear. I'm sure it won't be difficult; after all, they're just barbarians. But we should secure Joachim first and foremost." "What about the Windsprint's captain?" replies the elder Spar. "If he's still alive, he's worth something to my retirement fund. I mean to all of us...." Meanwhile Mallus and Delphine stand at the port rail, looking towards the island. Without asking he takes her hand; a surprisingly sensual and inappropriate gesture. She doesn't resist. He says, "What do you know...I can get a finer reading. Joachim is definitely not in the lighthouse, he's near the town, no, behind it, at the shrine. OK, so that was obvious to those of you using logic, but I was using metaphysics." After a moment of silence Mallus says to Delphine, "You must really need a good, hard...embrace." [I][b]DM's Note:[/b] MCSDF is an acronym of Monopolis Combined Self-Defense Force. "Monopolis" is the legal name for CITY.[/I] [/QUOTE]
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