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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Rolzup" data-source="post: 2869933" data-attributes="member: 10105">The Ratcatcher's Story...I was there on business, y'see.  The Temple of Kruetzel had a bit of a pest problem, they did, and they knew damned well who the best man for the job was.  By now all of Narayan knows, I should think, that there's nobody better than Edouard Finké when it comes to dealin' with rats.Barely worth my time, this job.  Nasty litle fellows, considerin' what they'd been eatin', but not a patch on some of the things I've dealt with.  Not fit to kiss Black Peter's toes, these bastards.I sorted things out easy enough, and took my leave of the temple. But on the walk back home, I fell into the company of a lad named Joachim.  Decent sort of fellow, he was another of them holy bakers. He'd been at the Temple seeking guidence or some-such, and had come away with no help at all.'s a long story, and it ain't mine to tell.  The long and the short of it was that he was married, but couldn't tell anyone.  His girl was someone of importance, connected like.  Rich father, if you catch my meaning.Poor lad got himself shanghaied, and the girl hired the Four Crazy Bastards to bring him back.  That they did, murderin' all sorts of people along the way, and on the voyage home he and the girl got themselves married.But now her father had her locked up, and he hadn't seen the girl in days!  His own wife!  Imagine that, if you would!What was that?  Here, now, Macawber!  I seen your wife, and you ask me, we'd all be better off if she was locked away somewhere!Where was I?  Right, right....  And these friends of his, the Four Crazy Bastards?  They wanted the girl to do somethin' unspeakably vile, somethin' so bad that the boy couldn't bring himself to speak of it!Anyways, I found meself feeling a bit sorry for the lad.  Hell of a thing for a young man to have to go through, am I right?  Bein' separated from his true love, and all, not to mention those cazy perverts.But truth be told, there was more to it than that.  CITY talks to me sometimes, me lads.  Not loud, and not clear, but you gotta know how to listen just right.  And she was speakin' to me then, sure enough.So I offered the boy my help, and he accepted it on the spot.  Shook hands on it, and off we went...to meet the Four Crazy Bastards themselves.Now, as I already said, there was just the two of them.  The Pretty Man, in his dress, with that sword always at his hip.  Tell you, boys, he touched that blade like a normal man touches his lover, you know? Real tender, like.  Delicate almost.  But could he use it?  Sure as sure, and no mistake.The other?  The Bloody Archer hisself, and wouldn't you know?  Another Azakhani, just like the Pretty Man.  Dressed all in red, from head to tow, just like they say.  Carries a bow as tall as I am, and by damn! Can he use it?  Put a dozen arrows in the air, fast as a man could blink!But both of them, crazy.  You could see it in their eyes.Don't know what happened to the other two, and I wasn't about to ask. The ones before me were bad enough.  There was another fellow, though.  A professor, of all things!  What was his name again?  Gave me his card, he did....Ah, here it is.  Bit smeared, but...Professor Hugo Chakraraja Glafston, Conjouror!  Bit of an odd duck, him, but compared to the Crazy Bastards he was almost normal.Should have seen the bird he called up, though.  Wanted to demonstrate his "arts", I suppose.  Bright yellow, stood taller than a man.  Had a nasty glint in its eye, too.  I've killed worse than that, mind but I took hold of Knocker, just in case.Sent the thing on its way with a wave of his hand, and told us all some story about looking for a man named "Mephosophocles".  Another professor, like, who'd one all missin'.  Wouldn't say what he wanted 'im for, or why he'd come to the Four Crazy Bastards, but he seemed inclined to stay.  Who was I to argue?  Meant one more body between me and the Pretty Man, which is all to the good.I thought we might be dealin' with Joachim's littler problem, but no.  The Pretty Man wanted to go buy a hat, of all things.  Didn't seem the sort, but I thought that it might have flowers on it.  Or fruit, maybe.  Wouldn't make him look any better, but who's to tell him?  Not me, no sir.  Like my guts on the inside, so I do.So he sent the Archer to go buy it.  Too good to go himself, I suppose, the toffee-nosed bastard.  The rest of us sat down for some coffee, while the bowman went about his errand.And when he got back, the tale he told?  Put a chill down my spine, it did....</blockquote>

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