Reply to thread

Message: <blockquote data-quote="Rolzup" data-source="post: 3080237" data-attributes="member: 10105">Rackhir, The Dead ArcherSo.  There I stood, surrounded by foreigners of the most disreputable sort, watching a shamanistic greengrocer give orders to a musical giant.I wish that I could claim that this was somehow unusual, but alas...this seems to be the sort of pattern into which my life has fallen.  It is a tremendous burden to bear, being the sole voice of rationality when all around you is silk-clad madness...but I endure, stoically.  Because that is the kind of man that Burne, is.  An Erisian, an Alchemist.  And, I daresay, a hero.I REALLY DON'T NEED TO SAY ANYTHING HERE, DO I?In any case, we had come to the monastary to look into this alleged "hidden chamber" that the child Calliope had spoken of.  Daikon knew nothing of this, and had found no such place in his investigations of the grounds.  He had, however, found that the spirits which he claimed haunted the building were oddly silent in some areas.  Specifically, it was a part of the courtyard of the monastery that was this "dead zone".The solution was clear.  Destruction was the answer, as it so often is.  As my lackies had done inside to speak with Daikon, I took it upon myself to deal with the situation.  I  suggested to the Tenor that he try moving the statue of the Late-and-not-in-the-least-lamented Bishop first and foremost, and then perhaps using it as a club to demolish the second statue.  An act of chiefly symbolic value, and one that I found morally appropriate.MORALS DON'T ENTER INTO IT.  HE WAS MUTTERING "SMASHY-SMASHY!", AND RUBBING HIS HANDS TOGETHER.The Tenor did, in fact, move the statue.  Not without some effort, mind.  And that was, perhaps, the last thing that went as I had planned.  The movement of the statue cracked the masonry around its pedestal and revealed a small metal door, marked with some sort ofrune, flush with the paving-stones.I called forth an order, and the foreign contingent rushed to my side.HE SENT ME TO FETCH THEM.  I SAID "PLEASE".  BURNE NEVER DOES.We considered the rune for a time.  None of them had anything constructive to offer, although Daikon, Meiji, and Wu took the opportunity to once more display their ignorance of the workings of higher magic.Kenji, on the other hand, had been staring at the sky.  Possibly composing a poem, or considering a flower arrangement, or something similar.  Just this once, his effeminate concerns proved useful, as he discerned (largely because of the dagger Squint) an invisible hawk circling high above the courtyard.On the instant, I knew exactly what this meant.  We'd seen this hawk before, and it could only mean that its master, this Nadir Medhi fellow, was somewhere nearby.I was unsure why Nadir was spying on us in such a fashion.  An interest in architecture, perhaps?  A hunger for fresh radish?  Curiosity over what would become of the place now that Xian was gone?  But of course!  Nadir was espying none other than Burne the Magnificent, eager to learn what my next marvelous creation would be! Probably in the hopes of being able to create some cheap crystal knockoff to sell in Marimbra.OR, MAYBE, THE HIDDEN SHRINE THAT LITTLE CALLIOPE HAD TOLD US ABOUT? THE SAME CALLIOPE THAT NADIR HAD SPOKEN TO ONLY DAYS EARLIER?  BURNE'S MIND WAS CONSUMED BY HIS GENIUS. ALL THAT'S LEFT IS A FINE GRAY ASH. THAT CAN BE FOUND ON THE BACK OF HIS COLLAR.Whatever it was, he soon discovered more than he had bargained for....Without hesitation, I promptly used the Engine to fire a cloud of Burne's Luminescent Motes into the air, revealing the previously invisible hawk.  And Nadir, clearly a coward, refused to present himself.ACTUALLY, NADIR ASKED HIM IF THE SPELL WAS MEANT AS A CHALLENGE.  BURNE SPENT THE NEXT SEVERAL MINUTES EVADING THE QUESTION, AND SEEKING THE EXACT DEFINITION OF "CHALLENGE" LEST HE TAKE THE HIMSELF TO ANYTHING DANGEROUS.Nadir, curiously, took my simple working as an act of hostility, and demanded that I remove the effect.Naturally, I refused.IN OTHER WORDS, HE COULDN'T.A moment later, I found an arrow lodged in my duodenum.  It smarted a little.YOU SHOULD HAVE HEARD HIM SHRIEK.  IT WAS...GLORIOUS.Oddly enough, it had been fired by Rackhir.  Who, despite being both foreign and terribly accident-prone, is generally a reasonable sort of fellow.  For, and I cannot stress this enough, a foreigner.Before I could respond in kind, Meiji used his "arts" to paralyze the archer, who had apparently fallen under Nadir's control.  Nadir, for his part, once more demanded that I remove the spell upon his witch-hawk.Meiji chose this moment to begin taunting Nadir, for reasons that continue to elude me.  Perhaps he was attempting to assert his masculinity; understandable enough, considering his mode of dress, but his timing was not well chosen.He and Nadir continued to exchange threats for a space, and then I noticed a curious look upon the Tenor's face.  The giant's normally pleasant expression had vanished, replaced by a vacant stare.  He began raising his club over the helpless Rackhir's head, while Meiji continued to make crude comments about Nadir's mother.I acted as quickly as I could, attempting to use Burne's Improved Vapors of Induced Somnolence to render the Tenor unconscious, but he proved able to shrug off the effects.  The club came down, hard. The resulting sound was most unpleasant. Have you ever seen a melon stuffed full of human cranial matter smashed to pieces by a 12 foot tall hack comedian? It was much like that, only moreso.Rackhir dropped, unmoving.The Tenor, horrified, burst into tears.Meiji, for a wonder, fell silent.Kenji leapt into much belated action, peering about with Squint in an attempt to find our assailant.  Too little, too late -- Nadir, fearing my wrath, had already fled.REALLY, I THINK THAT HE JUST FELT THAT HE'D PROVED HIS POINT.We were left staring at his Rackhir's corpse, and I think that all of us were thinking the same thing at that moment: "What wonders can the incredible Burne produce using the pieces of this simple dead archer? Some hoodoo charm versus arrows?  A steam-powered arbalest mounted on skeletal legs?  A golem? Or some other automated killing-machine, of the sort employed by the better sort of iron-fisted tyrant? "The answer, sadly, shall have to wait.</blockquote>

Verification