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The Chronicle of Burne, and Some Others of Lesser Importance *Updated May 17th, 2009*
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<blockquote data-quote="Rolzup" data-source="post: 3363355" data-attributes="member: 10105"><p><strong>Interlude: “The Three Faces of Eve”</strong></p><p></p><p>“A young and curious scholar, who I might add, was quite taken with me, once called me a 'barely localized phenomena'. He was three sheets to the wind at the time, which may have been the future. The air was horrible and full of noisy shapes.</p><p></p><p>"Sometimes I tell people I'm a mystery wrapped in clothes they can’t afford. Don’t you like my dress? Sometimes I use my stage voice and I say 'I am that I am'. Said that to a Hannikum priest once and he just about shat his robes.</p><p></p><p>"Let me start again. Maybe it’s better to talk about three Eves. The first was just a girl, a hard-luck case born in Narayan in a bad and wondrous time. Back then everything was still run by pirates, but there was music in the cafes at night and revolution in the air. Call it a renaissance. A time of great thinkers, great poets, great artists…</p><p></p><p>"The first Eve kept the company of those people. She dabbled in the arts herself. And with learning, too, once she had the money. She wanted to experience it all. Well, she did, and then went looking more. Lucky for her the Brotherhood of the Black Worm had recently brought something old out of the ruins of old Lassantees. Something like nothing else in this world. They called it the Church Without Doors. This Eve found her way in and knelt down before the Bad Hunger.</p><p></p><p>"She was turned inside-out.</p><p></p><p>"For a brief, agonizing, ecstatic moment there was a second Eve. She was born as the Hunger took her to the outer reaches of experience. I'm not sure why she didn't just die.</p><p></p><p>"Did you ever know someone who suffered something so awful that there mind just went... away? That's roughly what happened to Eve, except all of her went away. And then came back."</p><p></p><p>Her tone turns flat. "Now there's the third Eve, little old me. I don't think I'm a ghost. I’m pretty sure I'm not a demon, except, of course, when I'm drinking gin.</p><p></p><p>"This Eve put herself back together after being broken. Her perspective has been fundamentally changed, so the usual rules don't apply. She's transcended, well, as far as she can.”</p><p></p><p>"Eris' bones!" Burne exclaims, his eyes suddenly coming into focus, "Do you mean that literally, woman? That's the very heart and soul of alchemy, right there! Blowing things up, that's simply a nice bonus."</p><p></p><p>The Lady Eve lets out a knowing laugh, and then continues. “She's a mystery, like every real lady, albeit one who can walk through walls, drink fire, and break a headsman's ax with her dainty neck. And her soul, like any woman's, is fancy-free. So much so that a telepathic cad like Nadir can't even find it."</p><p></p><p>"Well, I will be damned." Burne looks at Eve rather differently now, and one can almost see him fighting the urge to whip out a caliper and start taking measurements.</p><p></p><p>“I'm also a part-time muse and mentor.” Smiling at Meiji she says “Would you like to know, my puckish young Imperial philosopher --oh, don't deny it, you have the look-- would you like to know why everything you know about existence is wrong?"</p><p></p><p>“Because he's a damned ignorant foreigner," Burne mutters absently to himself, jotting down his estimates of Eve's height as it corresponds to the breadth of her forehead.</p><p></p><p>Meiji's eyes are shining by the time Eve is done speaking and it’s obvious to even the most obtuse of watchers that he is either completely taken with the lady or doing a brilliant job faking it.</p><p></p><p>"I would absolutely love to know why everything I know about existence is wrong. Actually, let me be honest and say that - if you had asked - I would absolutely love to join you in doing laundry or discussing how many seeds to put in a sesame-seed bun. Something gives me the feeling that it would be an education."</p><p></p><p>"Oh, for Erebus’s sake." Burne, it seems, is in serious danger of straining his eyes, he's rolling them so hard.</p><p></p><p>"I.. Think. That. It. Is. Rather. Romantic," Abraxis clatters, a little sullenly.</p><p></p><p>"Romantic? Damn it all, Abraxis, fetch me a hammer!" Burne hisses, "You are obviously in dire need of an emergency cranial recalibration, and I'm disinclined to bruise my own hand again."</p><p></p><p>Meiji makes a low bow and continues, "As you have divined, I am a bit of a philosopher. I am a humble seeker after knowledge, visiting strange places and meeting new people whenever I get the opportunity." He grins and adds, "Many of whom I have to blow up or run away from, admittedly. I have met few, however, beside my mentor Little Wu-Shu, who are like you. I think you would have liked her. Among many other things, she said that existence is not a practice session. She did also say that life, like beans, gives you gas, and that there's more perfection in a pig finding truffles than a samurai waving his katana - sorry, Kenji. Who</p><p>knows - maybe you wouldn't have liked her all that much."</p><p></p><p>He grins self-deprecatingly, and says, "Unfortunately, my existence involves much talking. So let me shut up while you tell me what you had in mind. And I'll just refill your empty glass while you do so. Philosophy is thirsty business." He leans back and watches her intently while a nearby bottle rises and moves to fill her glass.</p><p></p><p>"Philosophy is entirely irrelevant," Burne snaps. "Leaving aside the oh-so intriguing question of transcendence, we've more important considerations to...ah, consider!</p><p></p><p>He turns to Eve, and -- with an obvious effort -- adopts a gentler tone. "Milady," he begins, assaying a smile, "My apologies for being so abrupt, but time is short and Nadir is a fu...ah..a bast...er, a villain. Yes, a villain. We need to deal with him as quickly and thoroughly as possible. If you've any suggestions to offer on this matter, we'd be delighted to hear them. If not, well, we'll need to make plans as to his elimination. And, ideally, immolation."</p><p></p><p>"Always. With. The. Flame," Abraxis, now obviously sulking atop a high bookcase, interjects.</p><p></p><p>Burne wheels around and glares at the mechanical cat, leveling one shaking finger at his famulus. "You," he grits out, "Can be replaced. I've been hearing good things about pneumatic lemurs recently, you know!"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Rolzup, post: 3363355, member: 10105"] [B]Interlude: “The Three Faces of Eve”[/B] “A young and curious scholar, who I might add, was quite taken with me, once called me a 'barely localized phenomena'. He was three sheets to the wind at the time, which may have been the future. The air was horrible and full of noisy shapes. "Sometimes I tell people I'm a mystery wrapped in clothes they can’t afford. Don’t you like my dress? Sometimes I use my stage voice and I say 'I am that I am'. Said that to a Hannikum priest once and he just about shat his robes. "Let me start again. Maybe it’s better to talk about three Eves. The first was just a girl, a hard-luck case born in Narayan in a bad and wondrous time. Back then everything was still run by pirates, but there was music in the cafes at night and revolution in the air. Call it a renaissance. A time of great thinkers, great poets, great artists… "The first Eve kept the company of those people. She dabbled in the arts herself. And with learning, too, once she had the money. She wanted to experience it all. Well, she did, and then went looking more. Lucky for her the Brotherhood of the Black Worm had recently brought something old out of the ruins of old Lassantees. Something like nothing else in this world. They called it the Church Without Doors. This Eve found her way in and knelt down before the Bad Hunger. "She was turned inside-out. "For a brief, agonizing, ecstatic moment there was a second Eve. She was born as the Hunger took her to the outer reaches of experience. I'm not sure why she didn't just die. "Did you ever know someone who suffered something so awful that there mind just went... away? That's roughly what happened to Eve, except all of her went away. And then came back." Her tone turns flat. "Now there's the third Eve, little old me. I don't think I'm a ghost. I’m pretty sure I'm not a demon, except, of course, when I'm drinking gin. "This Eve put herself back together after being broken. Her perspective has been fundamentally changed, so the usual rules don't apply. She's transcended, well, as far as she can.” "Eris' bones!" Burne exclaims, his eyes suddenly coming into focus, "Do you mean that literally, woman? That's the very heart and soul of alchemy, right there! Blowing things up, that's simply a nice bonus." The Lady Eve lets out a knowing laugh, and then continues. “She's a mystery, like every real lady, albeit one who can walk through walls, drink fire, and break a headsman's ax with her dainty neck. And her soul, like any woman's, is fancy-free. So much so that a telepathic cad like Nadir can't even find it." "Well, I will be damned." Burne looks at Eve rather differently now, and one can almost see him fighting the urge to whip out a caliper and start taking measurements. “I'm also a part-time muse and mentor.” Smiling at Meiji she says “Would you like to know, my puckish young Imperial philosopher --oh, don't deny it, you have the look-- would you like to know why everything you know about existence is wrong?" “Because he's a damned ignorant foreigner," Burne mutters absently to himself, jotting down his estimates of Eve's height as it corresponds to the breadth of her forehead. Meiji's eyes are shining by the time Eve is done speaking and it’s obvious to even the most obtuse of watchers that he is either completely taken with the lady or doing a brilliant job faking it. "I would absolutely love to know why everything I know about existence is wrong. Actually, let me be honest and say that - if you had asked - I would absolutely love to join you in doing laundry or discussing how many seeds to put in a sesame-seed bun. Something gives me the feeling that it would be an education." "Oh, for Erebus’s sake." Burne, it seems, is in serious danger of straining his eyes, he's rolling them so hard. "I.. Think. That. It. Is. Rather. Romantic," Abraxis clatters, a little sullenly. "Romantic? Damn it all, Abraxis, fetch me a hammer!" Burne hisses, "You are obviously in dire need of an emergency cranial recalibration, and I'm disinclined to bruise my own hand again." Meiji makes a low bow and continues, "As you have divined, I am a bit of a philosopher. I am a humble seeker after knowledge, visiting strange places and meeting new people whenever I get the opportunity." He grins and adds, "Many of whom I have to blow up or run away from, admittedly. I have met few, however, beside my mentor Little Wu-Shu, who are like you. I think you would have liked her. Among many other things, she said that existence is not a practice session. She did also say that life, like beans, gives you gas, and that there's more perfection in a pig finding truffles than a samurai waving his katana - sorry, Kenji. Who knows - maybe you wouldn't have liked her all that much." He grins self-deprecatingly, and says, "Unfortunately, my existence involves much talking. So let me shut up while you tell me what you had in mind. And I'll just refill your empty glass while you do so. Philosophy is thirsty business." He leans back and watches her intently while a nearby bottle rises and moves to fill her glass. "Philosophy is entirely irrelevant," Burne snaps. "Leaving aside the oh-so intriguing question of transcendence, we've more important considerations to...ah, consider! He turns to Eve, and -- with an obvious effort -- adopts a gentler tone. "Milady," he begins, assaying a smile, "My apologies for being so abrupt, but time is short and Nadir is a fu...ah..a bast...er, a villain. Yes, a villain. We need to deal with him as quickly and thoroughly as possible. If you've any suggestions to offer on this matter, we'd be delighted to hear them. If not, well, we'll need to make plans as to his elimination. And, ideally, immolation." "Always. With. The. Flame," Abraxis, now obviously sulking atop a high bookcase, interjects. Burne wheels around and glares at the mechanical cat, leveling one shaking finger at his famulus. "You," he grits out, "Can be replaced. I've been hearing good things about pneumatic lemurs recently, you know!" [/QUOTE]
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The Chronicle of Burne, and Some Others of Lesser Importance *Updated May 17th, 2009*
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