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The Chronicle of Burne, and Some Others of Lesser Importance *Updated May 17th, 2009*
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<blockquote data-quote="Mallus" data-source="post: 3700959" data-attributes="member: 3887"><p><strong>Interlude: The Gondoliers, part II</strong></p><p></p><p>Lord Kenji and company sail the Grand Canal from Gallina to Eris aboard Captain Ben Donovan’s Gondola, Leaf-on-Water. She’s been in the Captain family for generations. In fact, if certain rumors concerning the origin of her animating spirit are true, she’s spent the initial part of that time as a <em>member</em>. </p><p></p><p>Riding from city to city in a Gondola is a great honor which is completely lost on the Four Crazy Bastards. Kenji looks bored, but pretty, Dr. Wu, loyal, but simian, Rackhir simply stoic. Burne looks aghast at the thought of riding on something as fragile as a little swan-necked boat made of wood. If men were meant to sail, he thinks, then solid iron would float.</p><p></p><p>Unfortunately for physics, this gives him an idea.</p><p></p><p>Joachim eats a dainty cake while Mallus carefully mixes a rosewater-and-gin. Out of habit, the silent Mercutio plays with his magic rod while the succubus inside it fills the air with impure vibrations, much to the chagrin of the men standing next to him in the tiny boat. </p><p></p><p>"I'll keep this brief" says Ben Donovan, as he absently, and unnecessarily lowers his pole into the Grand Canal's glass-clear water. He’s all but recovered from his bout of negotiating with the unnervingly charismatic samurai, though, truth be told, he still looks a little flushed. </p><p></p><p>"You request for… highly specialized equipment is being processed. That's some damn odd and expensive gear you're looking for, though I imagine it’ll come in handy for hunting a powerful Shirac mind-witch. You can pick it up at Chan's Laundry in Little Ajakhan tomorrow, noon local time. It's on the street that runs along the Ft. Ormond canal, a block south from the Dragon Bridge. Here's the ticket."</p><p></p><p>The Captain dips his boatman’s pole into the Canal. Koi dart around its length. Like any woman, Leaf-on-Water continues to move wholly of her own accord. </p><p></p><p>"You'll be introduced to two of our men there. They'll be wearing naval uniforms; Lieutenants Garble and Flinch. However, I have these for you now” says the Captain. He hands Kenji two small leather pouches.</p><p></p><p>"Four pairs of Gate-marked Exchange Stones and four pairs of Caper Rings. The Exchange Stones do exactly that, they swap places when invoked, taking the bearer along with it. The rings are for long distance communication. Each is connected to its mate. They’re just the thing for pulling off perfectly timed capers, or so the Crooked Sages we bought them from said."</p><p></p><p>Leaf-on-Water crosses through the Gate that connects the Gallinan stretch of the canal to the capitol of CITY. The passengers are suddenly struck by the impression of floating in a vast empty sky full of enormous goldfish who happen to be singing a soaring choral arrangement. In a moment it passes. The passengers, except for the Captain, stand blinkered and blinking, struck not so much dumb as mildly retarded. </p><p></p><p>The Gondolier looks at them and shrugs, his shoulders saying ‘Eh, you get used to that’. The Gondola enters the Saltbend district of Eris. Mallus, unfazed by any metaphysical experience that doesn’t involve a well-made martini, utters a sigh of relief. "It's good to be back in a fashionable neighborhood. Well, I'll be getting off here."</p><p></p><p>"You should stay together" says Ben Donovan. “In case the mind-witch comes hunting you”.</p><p></p><p>The unsupportable weight of simple common sense comes crashing down on the Lovesworn, striking him squarely in the hardened knot of his liver.</p><p></p><p>Abraxis chimes it, "YOU COULD ALL STAY AT BURNE'S APARTMENT. IT’S NEARBY. ARE ANY OF YOU ALLERGIC TO FINELY-POWDERED LEAD?</p><p></p><p>It’s going to be a long night, thinks Mallus. </p><p></p><p></p><p>It's far too warm inside the “Chan Can Clean!” laundry and there's hardly any room for the motley assortment of pyromaniac patriots, foreigners, Lovesworn, priests and monkey-men to stand. Naval uniforms in varying states of cleanliness hang everywhere. The commingled smell of spilled wine, blood and salted pork is nauseating. Except for Dr Wu, who seems to enjoy it. </p><p></p><p>"Ah, civilian customers, Chan not get too many, but much appreciated when he do! Less blood. Usually. Chan offers finest traditional Ajakhani cleaning. Use ancient secrets of the Wu."</p><p></p><p>After this last remark, sifu Wujuyama, youngest of the sacred Guardians of Wu-Dan Mountain, leaps onto the counter, his long red silk scarf trailing.</p><p></p><p>"Oh really?" deadpans Wu.</p><p></p><p>Chan blanches when he realizes the simian fellow is a holy Vanara, not a run-if-the-mill CITY Hannu. "Most proliferate of apologies, Wu-sifu. I didn't see you. I mean I didn’t see you were <em>you</em>. Forgive the mindless chatter I should reserve for the gaijin. Umm, pick up or drop off?"</p><p></p><p>Kenji hands the dishonored laundry man the Gondoliers ticket. Chan silently leads them into the back of the shop, down a rickety flight of stairs to a basement storeroom. The smell of lye, not ancient Eastern magic, is overpowering. Inside, two men in Naval Intelligence uniforms await.</p><p></p><p>"HOOM DE VOOM-SHOOM DU'HOMME BOMB! REVI BEVY HEV HEV LEVY'SEV. NICE VICE THRICE O'RICE RICE!" bellows the taller and fatter of the two.</p><p></p><p>"That's Garble." says the smaller and thinner man. "He's thanking you for rescuing Captain Revi and the officers aboard the Windsprint, and for all the good work you've done around Little Ajakahn. You'll have to excuse him. While he's completely fluent in CITY:common, he chooses only to speak the un:Common dialect of his native Ulum Dreii. Don't bother trying to make sense out of the words, they're meaningless. It's all volume and context."</p><p></p><p>"PINCH PINCH FLINCH!" shouts Lieutenant Garble as he points at his comrade.</p><p></p><p>The smaller man literally leaps away from the outstretched digit and cowers momentarily, "I'm Flinch, by the way. This is what we have for you."</p><p></p><p> Lieutenant Flinch picks a large burlap sack off the floor. He reaches in.</p><p></p><p>"The Hand of Glory... thought we're fairly certain that was an assumed name. Grotesque, isn't it? Glory was a senior member of the Brotherhood of the Black Worm until she got nicked by a pack of vampires. Her hand's still plenty magical, though." </p><p></p><p>The thin Gondolier holds up a small metal figurine.</p><p></p><p>"This is Gyrefalcon's Gryphon. Or should I say --Flinch pauses to take a deep breath-- the Size-Malleable Self-Winding Phlogistonic Gryphon Prototype Alpha by Magnus Gyrefalcon the Magnanimous. It's really an armor-plated combat gryphon-golem... err... thing. See, you just pull this little key here and it expands to full size. When you're done with it, insert the key, and it shrinks back."</p><p></p><p>"But whatever you do, don't wind it yourself."</p><p></p><p>Lt. Flinch draws out a plain-looking cloth bag. </p><p></p><p>"This is a Helpful Haversack. Just fill it with equipment. When you need something, simply call out the name of the item and it'll be handed right to you. Most of the time. See, the thing is this isn't Gondolier standard issue. That wouldn’t be wise given your situation. The bottom of Haversack contains a Gate that leads to the one of the finest fraternity houses at the Acadeum Gaeta. Promising bunch of fellows, but they do tend to drink."</p><p></p><p>The next item is a rather sooty-looking empty quiver.</p><p></p><p>"The Ever-full Quiver. Well, it'll be full until the curio-shop in Ulum Dreii that it opens into goes out of business. But I wouldn't worry. I hear they're quite flush."</p><p></p><p>The little Gondolier struggles a bit, finally pulling free a light chain shirt.</p><p></p><p>"Some armor to gird a mighty Shirac-hunter, made from the finest Erisian mithral that Gallinan money can buy! Note the spiral rune across the chest. It was made from a real Shirac through a process I’d rather not think too much about. Umm, I’d wear something over it in Marimbra, if I were you."</p><p></p><p>Flinch then empties the remainder of the sack onto the floor.</p><p></p><p>"And finally an assortment of useful odds and ends… a fully-loaded brass hypodermic full of Moderately Curative Elixir… watch out for air bubbles when you use it, or it could be fatal… two silk packets full of Dust of Appearing… and a Potion of Speediness.”</p><p></p><p>As the Bastards gather up the remaining equipment, Flinch says, "Good hunting. And be careful out there.”</p><p></p><p>"HROOM!” adds Garble. </p><p></p><p></p><p>(Next up… back to Burne’s chronicling as the Four Crazy Bastards pursue their nemesis, Nadir Akmhad-Medhi)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mallus, post: 3700959, member: 3887"] [b]Interlude: The Gondoliers, part II[/b] Lord Kenji and company sail the Grand Canal from Gallina to Eris aboard Captain Ben Donovan’s Gondola, Leaf-on-Water. She’s been in the Captain family for generations. In fact, if certain rumors concerning the origin of her animating spirit are true, she’s spent the initial part of that time as a [i]member[/i]. Riding from city to city in a Gondola is a great honor which is completely lost on the Four Crazy Bastards. Kenji looks bored, but pretty, Dr. Wu, loyal, but simian, Rackhir simply stoic. Burne looks aghast at the thought of riding on something as fragile as a little swan-necked boat made of wood. If men were meant to sail, he thinks, then solid iron would float. Unfortunately for physics, this gives him an idea. Joachim eats a dainty cake while Mallus carefully mixes a rosewater-and-gin. Out of habit, the silent Mercutio plays with his magic rod while the succubus inside it fills the air with impure vibrations, much to the chagrin of the men standing next to him in the tiny boat. "I'll keep this brief" says Ben Donovan, as he absently, and unnecessarily lowers his pole into the Grand Canal's glass-clear water. He’s all but recovered from his bout of negotiating with the unnervingly charismatic samurai, though, truth be told, he still looks a little flushed. "You request for… highly specialized equipment is being processed. That's some damn odd and expensive gear you're looking for, though I imagine it’ll come in handy for hunting a powerful Shirac mind-witch. You can pick it up at Chan's Laundry in Little Ajakhan tomorrow, noon local time. It's on the street that runs along the Ft. Ormond canal, a block south from the Dragon Bridge. Here's the ticket." The Captain dips his boatman’s pole into the Canal. Koi dart around its length. Like any woman, Leaf-on-Water continues to move wholly of her own accord. "You'll be introduced to two of our men there. They'll be wearing naval uniforms; Lieutenants Garble and Flinch. However, I have these for you now” says the Captain. He hands Kenji two small leather pouches. "Four pairs of Gate-marked Exchange Stones and four pairs of Caper Rings. The Exchange Stones do exactly that, they swap places when invoked, taking the bearer along with it. The rings are for long distance communication. Each is connected to its mate. They’re just the thing for pulling off perfectly timed capers, or so the Crooked Sages we bought them from said." Leaf-on-Water crosses through the Gate that connects the Gallinan stretch of the canal to the capitol of CITY. The passengers are suddenly struck by the impression of floating in a vast empty sky full of enormous goldfish who happen to be singing a soaring choral arrangement. In a moment it passes. The passengers, except for the Captain, stand blinkered and blinking, struck not so much dumb as mildly retarded. The Gondolier looks at them and shrugs, his shoulders saying ‘Eh, you get used to that’. The Gondola enters the Saltbend district of Eris. Mallus, unfazed by any metaphysical experience that doesn’t involve a well-made martini, utters a sigh of relief. "It's good to be back in a fashionable neighborhood. Well, I'll be getting off here." "You should stay together" says Ben Donovan. “In case the mind-witch comes hunting you”. The unsupportable weight of simple common sense comes crashing down on the Lovesworn, striking him squarely in the hardened knot of his liver. Abraxis chimes it, "YOU COULD ALL STAY AT BURNE'S APARTMENT. IT’S NEARBY. ARE ANY OF YOU ALLERGIC TO FINELY-POWDERED LEAD? It’s going to be a long night, thinks Mallus. It's far too warm inside the “Chan Can Clean!” laundry and there's hardly any room for the motley assortment of pyromaniac patriots, foreigners, Lovesworn, priests and monkey-men to stand. Naval uniforms in varying states of cleanliness hang everywhere. The commingled smell of spilled wine, blood and salted pork is nauseating. Except for Dr Wu, who seems to enjoy it. "Ah, civilian customers, Chan not get too many, but much appreciated when he do! Less blood. Usually. Chan offers finest traditional Ajakhani cleaning. Use ancient secrets of the Wu." After this last remark, sifu Wujuyama, youngest of the sacred Guardians of Wu-Dan Mountain, leaps onto the counter, his long red silk scarf trailing. "Oh really?" deadpans Wu. Chan blanches when he realizes the simian fellow is a holy Vanara, not a run-if-the-mill CITY Hannu. "Most proliferate of apologies, Wu-sifu. I didn't see you. I mean I didn’t see you were [i]you[/i]. Forgive the mindless chatter I should reserve for the gaijin. Umm, pick up or drop off?" Kenji hands the dishonored laundry man the Gondoliers ticket. Chan silently leads them into the back of the shop, down a rickety flight of stairs to a basement storeroom. The smell of lye, not ancient Eastern magic, is overpowering. Inside, two men in Naval Intelligence uniforms await. "HOOM DE VOOM-SHOOM DU'HOMME BOMB! REVI BEVY HEV HEV LEVY'SEV. NICE VICE THRICE O'RICE RICE!" bellows the taller and fatter of the two. "That's Garble." says the smaller and thinner man. "He's thanking you for rescuing Captain Revi and the officers aboard the Windsprint, and for all the good work you've done around Little Ajakahn. You'll have to excuse him. While he's completely fluent in CITY:common, he chooses only to speak the un:Common dialect of his native Ulum Dreii. Don't bother trying to make sense out of the words, they're meaningless. It's all volume and context." "PINCH PINCH FLINCH!" shouts Lieutenant Garble as he points at his comrade. The smaller man literally leaps away from the outstretched digit and cowers momentarily, "I'm Flinch, by the way. This is what we have for you." Lieutenant Flinch picks a large burlap sack off the floor. He reaches in. "The Hand of Glory... thought we're fairly certain that was an assumed name. Grotesque, isn't it? Glory was a senior member of the Brotherhood of the Black Worm until she got nicked by a pack of vampires. Her hand's still plenty magical, though." The thin Gondolier holds up a small metal figurine. "This is Gyrefalcon's Gryphon. Or should I say --Flinch pauses to take a deep breath-- the Size-Malleable Self-Winding Phlogistonic Gryphon Prototype Alpha by Magnus Gyrefalcon the Magnanimous. It's really an armor-plated combat gryphon-golem... err... thing. See, you just pull this little key here and it expands to full size. When you're done with it, insert the key, and it shrinks back." "But whatever you do, don't wind it yourself." Lt. Flinch draws out a plain-looking cloth bag. "This is a Helpful Haversack. Just fill it with equipment. When you need something, simply call out the name of the item and it'll be handed right to you. Most of the time. See, the thing is this isn't Gondolier standard issue. That wouldn’t be wise given your situation. The bottom of Haversack contains a Gate that leads to the one of the finest fraternity houses at the Acadeum Gaeta. Promising bunch of fellows, but they do tend to drink." The next item is a rather sooty-looking empty quiver. "The Ever-full Quiver. Well, it'll be full until the curio-shop in Ulum Dreii that it opens into goes out of business. But I wouldn't worry. I hear they're quite flush." The little Gondolier struggles a bit, finally pulling free a light chain shirt. "Some armor to gird a mighty Shirac-hunter, made from the finest Erisian mithral that Gallinan money can buy! Note the spiral rune across the chest. It was made from a real Shirac through a process I’d rather not think too much about. Umm, I’d wear something over it in Marimbra, if I were you." Flinch then empties the remainder of the sack onto the floor. "And finally an assortment of useful odds and ends… a fully-loaded brass hypodermic full of Moderately Curative Elixir… watch out for air bubbles when you use it, or it could be fatal… two silk packets full of Dust of Appearing… and a Potion of Speediness.” As the Bastards gather up the remaining equipment, Flinch says, "Good hunting. And be careful out there.” "HROOM!” adds Garble. (Next up… back to Burne’s chronicling as the Four Crazy Bastards pursue their nemesis, Nadir Akmhad-Medhi) [/QUOTE]
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