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Message: <blockquote data-quote="DarrenGMiller" data-source="post: 2047111" data-attributes="member: 23174">It is funny how things turn out actually.  When people give advice to DM's about a player they are having difficulty with, the DM is told to boot the player.  When advice is given to a player who is not getting along well in the group, the player is told to find a new group.  DM's are assumed to be responsible for their group and if things go south then it is their fault.  I know I am already at risk of hijacking this thread and I am sorry for that, but I think that this IS an issue that is important for DM's, so I am going to tell you what has transpired in the past 24 hours. I am a teacher (as I have posted before) and as such, no longer felt like being a part of a gaming group that had to be controlled and continuously brought back on task like an unruly classroom.  I get enough of classroom management every day and don't need to manage people who are supposed to be my friends (3 of my players are former students, 1 other recently graduated from the school where I teach).  I just want to run a game where there is mutual trust among the players to do what you are supposed to be doing at the table.  Table rules should be able to handle any minor problems that may arise (IMO). After I informed my group that I no longer felt the current group was viable, I received a whole bunch of emails and phone calls.  The player who told me that he and another player were quitting denied that he told me that to the rest of the group when they called him.  The other player emailed me and informed my that she was not planning on quitting.  The player I assume would care the least about the termination of the game has done the most to try to salvage something out of this. In short, he has spoken to everyone involved, including the player we ousted a month ago when things started going poorly.  He then called me to show his support for my decision and his willingness to work towards restoring a group of some kind even if the personnel is slightly different (I usually have at least a small waiting list of potential players and had 3 on that list as of last night).  Even though he was at fault for some of the problems and he ignored my request to cut the silliness and criticism, etc. during sessions, he apologized, admitted his share and wants to move on.  He also expressed that if he was not part of my next group, he would regret it, but understand.  I also received several calls from the player we ousted, as well as another player and emails of support from two others.  In short, most are willing to do whatever it takes to get me back behind the screen again soon and hope that they can be a part of it, but expressed understanding if they are not. I am wondering if anyone here has any player surveys or if anyone has done a "trial session" to determine the make-up of the group.  When I decide to put a group back together, I want lots of out of game communication and trust. Have I been selfish in gaming only when I can be assure that I am getting what I want out of the game?  Probably so, but at my age and with the amount of gaming time I have to run a game, I don't want to waste it. Thanks for your help.  Like it or not, I will let you know how it goes. DM</blockquote>

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