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Message: <blockquote data-quote="RangerWickett" data-source="post: 1629181" data-attributes="member: 63">Grim Tales has very nice rules for car chases.My guidelines for driving (or at least driving cross-country) are:1. Enjoy it.  America has stolen a lot of its history from other countries, but we're the first guys to have enough room to make all these roads.  Get some nice cruising music, drive to the beat of the song, and appreciate the smooth roads out there.  There's more than enough construction zones in this world, so don't take the smooth stretches for granted.2. Don't drive without music.  If your car's sound system isn't working, take a plane.  Do not rely on radio stations.  You cannot cruise to commercials.3. If your passenger doesn't like the same music as you, and isn't a good conversationalist, keep them up late the night before your trip so they sleep during the ride.4. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  Signal a reasonable span of time before you turn or change lanes.  Since you enjoy driving, and you know you're going to get lost eventually, don't get upset when you miss your turn.  Just keep going, casually find a place to double back, and be confident that you'll find your way.5. Never go to Vaughan, Mississippi.  It is not a town.  It is a road to the dark heart of the woods, where no restrooms live.  Likewise, don't just assume that an exit will have gas or a place to take a leak.  Look for those nifty signs that tell you what restaurants and gas stations are ahead.  Bring toilet paper with you, even if you have to steal it from the hotel.6. Speed during the day when the traffic around you is speeding.  A smart driver knows where cops hang out, like under bridges, behind trees, and so on, so don't speed in these areas.  Traveling faster than the speed limit is fun and, in clear conditions, rather safe.  However, cops are paid to assume all drivers are morons, so don't prove them right by speeding past one of their little traps.  5 miles over the limit is usually safe.  Don't ever go 90, even if you're ten minutes late to a Tupperware party.7. Know where to hide your drugs.  Now, I personally have never had to worry about this, but my brother shares all kinds of nice stories about getting pulled over and cunningly concealing his bag of weed.  Don't drive with more drugs than you can safely hide or ingest.  Buy large sodas from fast food places, since most cops don't think to look in your coke for your coke.  P.S., don't do coke.8. Don't f*** with police officers.  Be courteous, and if the guy seems cool, don't be afraid of cracking a joke with him.  If you were speeding, tell him where you're headed, and make it sound like you're embarrassed that you were speeding.  He might let you off if you seem chagrined enough.  If you were driving recklessly, well, you're screwed.  You can get away with speeding sometimes, but cops always ticket you for running red lights.  Practice reciting the alphabet without the song, both backward and forward.  Cops are your friends.9. P.S., unless you're a minority.  Cops assume you're up to no good if less than half of the people in the car are white.10. If you're traveling with a group of people, each car needs a cel phone.  If one of you gets lost, everyone needs to stop and call each other.  If you can't reach each other, usually the rear car should stay put while the lead car doubles back to look for them.</blockquote>

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