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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Clint" data-source="post: 1492347" data-attributes="member: 2283">Hi.It sounds like you're going through a tough time, and I wish you the best. Everyone here has been giving good advice, and they're all correct, and StalkingBlue in particular has great advice. I do have two more thoughts to relate, based on what you said.1) Never expect the kindness of others to apply to you. In general, if a person is not a close friend, don't ask anything of that person unless you absolutely need it. This goes for all things, in all parts of your life. The responsibility of keeping a casual relationship balanced is not on the person who is requested to do something; it is on the person who is doing the asking. The thought "She didn't have to say yes" won't matter when she feels like you're an ingrate, and can't tell you because you don't have the communication of good friends.Since you mentioned this, in the context of making friends, you should take it easy on the others until the foundation of friendship is strong enough to support some weight. Unfortunately, the correct timing of such things can only be learned through trial and error, but a reasonable place to start from is to ask for as little as possible. For your situation: get your own ride, buy and bring your own food, don't talk about the miserable parts of your life, and if you can't think of anything nice to say about your personal life, don't say anything. On the opposite side, be generous with everything I just said you should not ask for. I sound like a manner marm, "Eyes bright! Wide smile!" But I'm serious. This is how it works. Be sure that you leave every encounter with the other people feeling that they were better off with you there.2) Personal weblogs such as some of those found on LJ are a relatively new social construct, and how they fit into real life relationships hasn't really been worked out yet. I consider a personal weblog to be when someone talks in detail about their personal life, as opposed to politics, hobbies, etc. These should be treated like a secret diary, even though it's obviously public.I feel that a person who broadcasts their personal negative thoughts about another person in a public forum has a lack of class. You probably don't want that person as a friend. Having said that, if you're trying to make a relationship work with such a person (for example, for gaming or business purposes):When you read someone's personal weblog (even if they expressly ask you to read it), treat it as if you are reading their secret diary. Don't mention anything you see there in real life, just like you really shouldn't mention when you snuck into your older sister's closet to read about her first kiss with Greasy Johnny behind the dumpster. If someone has plans to go to a movie, they'll ask you to come along in real life if they want you there. My rule of thumb is that I don't read the personal weblog of people who I know in real life. People largely don't understand themselves anyway, so you're not really going to gain any insight into how they really feel, because they honestly don't know.This strategy might be erring on the side of restraint, but I feel that's better than suspecting that you know this person more than you actually do.I don't have all the answers, and my thoughts might not work for you. But they're all I can offer.Best wishes and good luck.-Clint</blockquote>

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