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<blockquote data-quote="Shade" data-source="post: 2041039" data-attributes="member: 287"><img src="http://www.enworld.org/forum/images/smilies/laugh.png"&nbsp; class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing&nbsp; &nbsp; :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /> The following paragraph is kinda clunky:Suggested rewrite:The gohlbrorn is a smaller, more intelligent relative of the bulette that hunts in packs. A gohlbrorn pack roams the Underdark, preferring areas near large populations of easy prey. The strongest member of the pack acts as the leader, though all members of a pack are valued equally.&nbsp; The whole pack will band together to defend new eggs, and young gohlbrorn will support elder members when they grow too frail to hunt.Same goes for this one:Gohlbrorns' intelligence, cunning, and ability to coordinate attacks makes a pack very dangerous.&nbsp; They often tunnel ahead and conceal themselves using their natural camouflage to observe prey. These highly organized combatants attack the most powerful foe first, then dive back into their tunnels to regroup while their opponents are disoriented. They do not fight to the death, and will flee when faced with overwhelming odds.Minor typo below:&nbsp; change &quot;a&quot; to &quot;an&quot;.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Shade, post: 2041039, member: 287"] :lol: The following paragraph is kinda clunky: Suggested rewrite: The gohlbrorn is a smaller, more intelligent relative of the bulette that hunts in packs. A gohlbrorn pack roams the Underdark, preferring areas near large populations of easy prey. The strongest member of the pack acts as the leader, though all members of a pack are valued equally. The whole pack will band together to defend new eggs, and young gohlbrorn will support elder members when they grow too frail to hunt. Same goes for this one: Gohlbrorns' intelligence, cunning, and ability to coordinate attacks makes a pack very dangerous. They often tunnel ahead and conceal themselves using their natural camouflage to observe prey. These highly organized combatants attack the most powerful foe first, then dive back into their tunnels to regroup while their opponents are disoriented. They do not fight to the death, and will flee when faced with overwhelming odds. Minor typo below: change "a" to "an". [/QUOTE]

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