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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Goonalan" data-source="post: 3875039" data-attributes="member: 16069">Dungeon Crawl Classics #29 Scenario 2 Old Feodol’s Basement Level 1Turn 48: The Angry Buffoon Although the basement only runs under a portion of the crumbling manor house, it is still quite a large room, cluttered despite its size. The northeast corner has a jumble of old children’s toys, a broken crate, and some casks on the floor. Drone quickly rushes over to investigate, “I can’t believe it”, delivered with a grin, soon turns to “I can’t believe it”, delivered with a grimace- the toys are all broken.In the southwest corner is Old Feodol broken-down bed. Next to it is a desk that has all its drawers thrown on the ground. Just under the staircase is a battered armoire in similar condition. Liana heads over to scope the place, discovers only a pouch of tobacco, apple-scented, and a pipe- whatever else that was stored here has been taken.Finally, in the southeast corner there is a long meeting table, now almost grey with dust, a mirror covered with a bed sheet, and a coat rack upon which hangs a red-chequered smoking jacket. The walls around this basement are adorned with a large map of the region – with notations pertaining to shipping routes and market needs – a fading portrait of Old Feodol himself in a younger day, and, over the bed, a well-maintained portrait of what must be his long-dead wife.The Professor wanders over to the smoking jacket, attempts to slip it on, it’s much too big for the Halfling Wizard, he does however rifle the pockets and discover a small bag containing pieces of dry fruit, “Mmm.” The Halfling gingerly tastes a piece, it’s good- he continues to scoff the lot as he wanders around the chamber.Babs throws the cloth from the mirror, spies herself, grins and preens, she musses her hair, the quest for better styling products an eternal dilemma.“Do you think I should dye it again, do the roots?” She muses.Skoda Octavia stops in his tracks and stares at Bab’s reflection in the mirror, he fingers his topknot, dismisses whatever thought plagued him and heads off.“I think I should go red?” Bab’s informs nobody. Drone meanwhile has made his way to a stew pot on the table, looks inside- it’s empty, “I can’t believe…” he whispers, and then snatches up the ancient looking bone handled spoon on the table next to the pot, stuffs his ill-gotten gain away, and grins, “I can’t believe it”, he giggles.“What’s up with you?” Liana asks.“Nothing. I just can’t believe it, we’ve arrived too late- somebody’s been here, searched the place. We’re never going to find it now. I can’t believe we arrived too late- too late.” Drone wanders off.“We’re not too late. They never found this…” Liana bends low and clicks something unseen at the base of a seemingly normal area of the stone wall, the Rogue yanks at something, and straightens, the wall moves up, now of its own accord.“Genius Liana, genius.” The good Professor wanders over.The secret door slides up to reveal red carpet stretching into a comfortable study. A well cushioned chair rests next to a pair of slippers and an empty fireplace on the far wall, the north wall features a workbench and shelf filled with beakers and tins. To the left, in the northwest corner, another large map lies spread out over a plain wooden desk complete with its own, less cushioned chair. There is a door on the southern wall. Suddenly, a low growl fills Liana’s ears, and from behind the desk stalks a large, dark furred dog, its legs stiff and ears flat against its head. It bares its teeth and snarls at the Rogue. “Dog.” Liana screams and in one quick motion twirls a throwing dagger at the creature, catching it in its shoulder, the dog yelps in pain and rushes towards her.“Errr.” The Rogue ponders for a split-second and then tumbles backwards out of the chamber, the snarling hound rushes after her into the first chamber, and straight into the path of Drone and Skoda.“I can’t…“ Drone smashes his great club into the flank of the dog, bones shatter, seconds latter Skoda thumps his foot into the poor pooches skull, a loud crack, and the hound flops to the floor- dead.“Hold hands.” Babs is quick to the scene, “form a circle, come on- I haven’t got all day.” Reluctantly, and with a crescendo of shrugs and sideways glances, the others obey.The adventurers form a circle around the very dead dog, “Wee Jas take the spirit of this faithful hound whose dying wish was to defend its master’s home, lift up its bones to the great ossuary in the sky, its spirit to run free in the Elysium Fields chasing butterflies, and burying bones. We commend this animal’s soul to your safe keeping. Harm’em.”“Say it.”“Harm’em.” The others comply feebly.“Now break free.” Babs shatters the circle flinging her hands free, half-heartedly the others follow suit, still exchanging nervous glances. “Now wash yourself clean.” Babs wriggles, jiggles and generally fondles herself all over in a half-erotic imitation of washing.“You’ve got to be kidding.” Liana wanders off.The others are not such bad sports, Drone nearly loses his spoon, so rigorous is his scrubbing.“Babs, or rather Gate Keeper Barbara, do we have to do that every time something dies?”“It is Wee Jas’ wish.”“I see, is there perhaps a shorter version… something that you could do, on your own, and perhaps, for instance if we were in the middle of something, how shall I put it… dangerous, is there perhaps just something you can say, maybe even just whisper- to yourself?”“Wee Jas permits me to forego the ceremony and instead offer up prayer for the spirits passing.”“Good, can we go with that in future?”“It would be acceptable Professor.” Gate Keeper Babs nods and three, two, one… returns to her normal self.She shakes her hair out, “poor doggie-woggie”, she pats the dead hound, “what does dog taste like, anybody?”“I can’t believe it.” Drone wanders off.Skoda has his pencil and paper out, he’s drawing a picture of Babs washing, it’s very good, with all the wobble lines in the right places.The Professor makes his way over to the map, grabs it up and heads back into the first chamber to compare and contrast the two, he’s not sure what to make of them, they’re both of the local area surrounding Grimbo, the second seems to have been annotated indicating new developments, logging areas, and in particular the expansion of Molton Clay- supposedly a centre for peace, love and understanding, some sort of Druidical settlement. The Professor stores the information for later use.Skoda meanwhile reaches up onto a shelf and lifts down two tins, the first is marked ‘REMEMBER’, he opens it- there are nearly a dozen black berries within, he shrugs and places it down on the table. The second tin is marked “Helpful. REMEMBER”, he opens it- there’s a candle inside, half-spent, it smells of cinnamon. Skoda fetches out his notebook and scribbles “REMEMBER.”The Professor wanders over, “Goodberries.”“What?” Liana wanders over, followed by the others.“Goodberries- good for healing, Druids… ahhh.”“What?” Liana repeats herself.“Nothing. Goodberries- good for healing, take a few each.The Professor shares out the hoard.“And what’s this?” He sniffs the candle, “Cinnamon. Hang on… We appear to be in a mystery.”“What?” Liana’s got her big speech nailed.“Hang on.” The Professor shuffles through his backpack, eventually emerges with two slips of paper, the notes the adventurers received from the two interested parties competing for Old Feodol’s last Will and Testament. “Remember these?” The Professor nods, and then reads-“Greetings.You have – oh adventurers – this day a unique opportunity to earn the favour of a powerful wizard, namely myself. In the basement of my father’s manor there will be a green leather-bound book. It is his last will and testament. I need it retrieved and brought to my agent, Gilles Beir. This must be done in haste as my sibling,Larissa of The Nunny, is also keen on possessing this item. I am certain she means to forge a fake. I assure you I would do no such thing.For this service I will pay each of you a sum of three hundreds of gold, in whatever coinage or gemstones you see fit. As I said, you will also have my gratitude. Rest assured that is preferable to having my enmity. I would aid you in this matter but my attentions are required elsewhere at this moment and time is of the essence. I mention this one thing in passing, although I cannot deduce how it can be of use to you: my father once sharply said to me that the only time my sibling and I worked together was in the basement. I assumed he was referring to a forgotten incident from our childhood, but now I am not so certain.Gilles will await your successful return.Dennel Batharda.”The Professor scans the expectant faces, “Oh hang on, it’s not that one, however I am intrigued by the phrase- “my father once sharply said to me that the only time my sibling and I worked together was in the basement”, I think there’s more to that than meets the eye- we’ll see. Oh hang on, this is it.”The Professor reads out the second note.“Friends,My dear, dear father recently passed on, and I fear that my villainous brother Dennel intends to cheat me out of my proper inheritance. I believe he will try to steal my father’s will and forge a fake that favours him. So underhanded is he! I need some true friends to go into my father’s basement and get his will first! It will be a leather-bound book the colour of a spring leaf.I would be oh so pleased if you could give this book to my friend Aronarg. If you do, he will have 400 gold apiece for you. I would go myself but the thought of entering that basement…it just makes me tear up. I can remember how he always smelled like cinnamon when he came upstairs, probably his pipe smoke. Oh father! Aronarg will wait for you to get the book. Do hurry! My brother will not hesitate to hire some dastardly mercenaries to do his dirty work.Fortunately I have friends. We are friends, aren’t we?L.”The Professor scans the crowd again.“Well, don’t you see?”Liana sighs, “WHAT?”“Cinnamon, dear girl. Cinnamon.”The Professor fetches the candle, holds it up, sniffs it, and then passes it round for others to do the same, “It smells of cinnamon.”“What use is that?” Liana folds her arms across her chest.“Well I don’t know… yet. But I’ll bet you it’s important. I think we should take the candle.” The Professor nods frowning, serious.“I’ve heard of this thing Ear-candling, they light candles in your ears and the warm vapours draw out all of your impurities, dirty thoughts, and desire to do destruction unto your self and others… I read it somewhere. I didn’t fancy it; I might have got wax in my hair…” Babs offers.“I can’t believe it.”“No, I can’t either, and it was expensive.”“Babs- what is it you do, or did, I mean before you started adventuring?” Liana enquires.“I worked in the Coroners Office for Gleethorpe.”“Oh. As what?”“The Coroner.” Babs smiles and loosens a strap on her backpack, it instantly converts into an over the shoulder style handbag, she rifles inside and settles on a hand mirror, checks her hair.Search over the group move through the southern door, led by Drone this time, and through a short passage beyond, this basement is proving to be much bigger than they first expected.The mystery of Old Feodol continues to unfold in this next room. Just around a bend in the corridor, the adventurer’s enter what seems to be a trophy room. A ruined suit of plate armour stands against the north wall, with a plaque reading “Lord Arnost” at its feet. It stands next to a weapons rack filled with various kinds of saw blades and a plaque that reads “Orindale Logging Interests.” The final object on the wall is what looks like a simple roadside sign. It reads, “Molton Clay.” The south wall bears several framed and hung documents and the mounted head of a hideous creature. A dark yellowish colour, it looks insect-like but has the eyes of a horse; beneath each eye limply hangs a featherlike antenna. A wooden door stands at the opposite end of the room, there also seems to be a passageway branching off to the south.The ceiling is much higher in this room, perhaps 13 feet, a ledge runs along the wall at about 10 feet high, and skittering and pointing on the ledge are a family group of small monkeys.“Ahhh.” Babs begins, “shoot them”, she finishes, “don’t let them get anywhere near my hair.”“Dear lady” The Professor bows, and fwung, fires a crossbow bolt into the happy family group, killing the smallest of the creatures instantly, the three remaining seem less pleased, they screech and holler, strike war-like poses. Babs fires her crossbow but misses by a mile.“I can’t believe it.” Drone stares around at his companions, including Skoda twirling his sling, getting his eye in, “I CAN’T BELIEVE IT.” Drone rushes out into the centre of the chamber flapping and waving his hands making harsh animal sounds, “AAARRRGHHGERRRRRROFFFFFIIIICCCAAANNNTTBBBEEELLLIIEEEVVEEEIIIITTTTYYYOOOUUURRSSSSHHHOOOOOOOTTTTIINNGGMMOONNKKKEEEYSSSS.”The monkeys flee in terror, along the ledge into the room beyond the far door.Drone turns to stare at his brave companions, about to berate them for their violence.SWISH-DUNGSkoda looks instantly sorry, his sling bullet catches Drone square in the face, breaking the Dwarf’s nose, actually liberally re-distributing it around the his face.“IIIICCCAAANNNTTBBBEEELLLIIEEEVVEEEIIIITTTT.”Drone rushes at Skoda barrels into the young Monk before he can move, the Dwarf’s momentum carries the pair backward, Skoda crunches hard into the suit of Plate Armour, which collapses and smashes onto the pair. Drone emerges from the tangled pile, Skoda soon follows, the Monks left arm at an odd angle, actually dangling and bent backwards.The Monk looks stoic, adopts a combat stance and shuffles out to meet the Dwarf, who tears and claws at the air- a grappler’s stance.“People… People…” The Professor begins.Babs makes it to the body of the fallen monkey, she prays and mutters, “Holy Wee Jas send the spirit of this fine monkey to the tangled bows of…” CRUNCHA rock, not unaided, drops off the ledge above the Priestess of Wee Jas and smashes into her unprotected skull; she folds like a pack of cards, “My hair…”, her last words.“Feck this.” Liana begins and edges towards the door, the monkeys are back in the room and are throwing things.Drone and Skoda face off, dance around each other for a while, Drone swings for the Monk’s head.THUNK-SWISHDrone misses, entirely because the Monk takes a stone to the temple and flops to the floor.THUNKAnother small rock thumps into the small of Drone’s back, the Fighter spins around to see the three remaining monkey stone throwers heading off to reload, the Dwarf sags, he’s almost down, “I can’t believe it”, he whispers through blood-flecked lips.Next Turn: The Angry Buffoon Part Deus</blockquote>

Verification