Upgrade your account to a Community Supporter account and remove most of the site ads.

Reply to thread

Message: <blockquote data-quote="DM with a vengence" data-source="post: 189667" data-attributes="member: 1679">When Halflings go Wild Wild Wild!When Halflings go Wild Wild Wild!Nikki and Ladinya arrived in Sator square at the exact same time.  Remarkably, there was no screaming,  nothing was on fire, and a crowd of watchmen were most definitely not crowded around a group of chalk outlines.  “Whew, seems like he hasn’t gotten into any trouble.  Maybe we can start trusting him again.”At that moment, a loud argument from a neighboring bar floated over the chaos of the square.  “To short to play darts?  I’ll dart you!”  There was a thud, and the sudden, animal scream of a man who had just had his balls kicked up between his ears by someone half his size.  There were the sounds of a struggle, and halfling covered in weapons was tossed out of a window, rolling to the sound of tinkling glass.  Ladinya looked at Nikki, “Oh crap, let’s go!”Milo bounced up from the toss and looked into the laughing face of the man who had thrown him out of the window just when things were beginning to get fun.  He reached over to a stall and grabbed three rotten melons, dropping a silver on the counter.  Seconds later the man and the window were covered in rotten honeydew pulp.  The man screamed and jumped out of the ground floor window after Milo, who braced his feet shoulder width apart and stood ready to receive the man’s attack.  With the unstoppable ponderous momentum of a raging elephant, the man charged Milo with full intent of violence.  At the last moment Milo skipped to the side and spun, sending a well aimed blow into the back of the man’s knee.  The man’s leg spasmed, and he went down hard, crushing his nose on the cobbles.  Milo walked over to him and very deliberated planted a well aimed kick between his legs.  The man clutched his crotch and jackknifed as Milo strutted around him.  “Who’s the halfling?  I’m the halfling!  Who’s in the house?  Milo’s in the house!”A crowd gathered around Milo and began to mutter.  “Upsy halflings.”  “What gives them the right to terrorize innocent people?”  “Why do you know what one of them said to my daughter?”  “I say they’re too short to enjoy life properly.”  “All that rage bottled up into such a small frame.”  “I think we aughta teach him a lesson…”Milo held up his hands for silence.  “People of Crayvaenn, we can resolve this slight disagreement peacefully.  But that doesn’t seem too bloody likely now, does it?”  He flipped two axes out of their loops and grabbed them by the blade, handle forward.  “Wazzzzzzzzup!”  Milo screamed as he charged the crowd, pausing only to jab a kidney here or trip an old lady there.  He burst through the outer edge of the crowd, and ran towards the city gate. A pair of watchmen, a half-orc and a gnome stepped out from behind a corner, and Milo skidded to a stop.Ladinya and Nikki heard Milo’s battle-cry, and watched the ripple of falling people pass through the crowd  as Milo burst through and ran smack into the two watchmen.  The half-orc pulled a giant crossbow off his back, pulled back the string with one hand, loaded what must have been at least 30 bolts and pointed the weapon at the crowd.  “Get cold.”“Freeze.”  The gnome corrected.  “But I assure you, even if my partner’s grammar is not much, his aim most certainly is.  That is a customized riot Kheckler Wallsweeper 30 1000lbs crossbow.  You might recall its performance at the siege of Tuluk-Dom, where the dwarves used a similar, slightly less powerful model to prevent a goblin horde of over 3000 warriors from advancing more than 200 feet into a valley they were defending.”  At this, the entire crowd gave a little gurgle of fear and pants-wetting.  “So who started out this little incident?”Milo turned, the entire crowd was pointing at him.</blockquote>

Verification