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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Mathew_Freeman" data-source="post: 4535907" data-attributes="member: 1846">Conversations With GoblinsMoments later the adventurers stood amongst the corpses of many fallen goblins. Moans from the goblin sentry who had questioned them indicated they had not done their work as thoroughly as one might. Elwanen picked up the battered goblin and held him over a pit full of rats that had been revealed during the battle. "You're going to tell us everything. Where is Balgron? How many of you are there?" shouted the Eladrin. "And can you draw us a map of the keep?" added Aran merrily. "Yes! Yes!" cried the goblin, "Whatever you want! Just dont drop me in there!" The goblin offered his name as Thruk. He cooperatively led the party through a series of passageways to a door. "Balgron's in there!" He said pointing, at which point he found himself being bound, gagged and 'bagged'. "This may be upsetting. It's really for your own good." consoled Des the Tiefling cleric. "We dont want to make too much noise, he'll be a hinderance." agreed the paladin. A second door stood beside that which led to Balgron. Thruk had indicated that many more goblins lay beyond it. The party began discussing how to prevent being flanked by this second force. They agreed that they would need to fix the door shut, but how? It had no lock to pick, no bolt to close, all that could be done lay with the adventurers and the resources they had brought with them. "Spike the door." suggested Sabbat Fau, coldly. "What does that entail (If I may pry)?" asked Des. "One takes the door to a bar, and when it is not looking…" began Theron the wizard, brushing aside his immaculate barnet. "I think the warlock is referring to the tried and tested dugeoneering practice of driving iron spikes into the opening crease of the doors frame, thus preventing it from opening." explained the Eladrin. "Well (and although I do not mean to countermand what appears to be (on the surface) a fine suggestion) we will have to silence the banging. You do intend to drive the spikes in manually?" "With the repeated use of sudden blows, from a hammer I would imagine." answered Fangorn, the talking tree, who had kept very quiet until now. "We will need a spellbinder." suggested Des. "I can create a ghostly sound that may mask the shrill ringing of iron striking iron." offered Theron. "Can one use that (and do excuse my ignorance in matters arcane) to actually mask sound?" asked the curious tiefling. Sabbat Fau had been contemplating quietly: "One would need to, I believe, create a…" "...a noise cancellation wave. That may (and do please forgive my presumption) be beyond the scope of this (I believe I am correct in saying) cantrip." "You are indeed wise in the ways of the arcane." said Theron. "I shall begin the hammering on the one door at the exact same instant the rest of you charge through that other door." suggested Fangorn helpfully. It was agreed. "On three… one… two… three!" The paladin gave the door a hefty kick and it flew open. Beyond was a guardroom where three goblins were playing cards. They looked up surprised. The sound of hammering could be heard outside. "We wish to speak to Balgron (who is (if im not mistaken) the boss)." stated Des, "He's asleep!" shouted the first goblin sentry, then quietly whispering in goblin to one of his colleagues "Oi, go and get him." "This ones going to get him." translated Sabbat Fau. "<img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />! He speaks goblin! Well.. what do you want?" asked the first guard. "This really is a matter of some importance, and (if you will forgive the appearance of condesension) is for Balgron's ears only." said Des. There was a pause. The adventurers took a moment to look around them. A bare stone room, damp, dark and dingy. A finger painting on the wall depicted three goblins apparently playing cards. "What a miserable existence." said Des glumly. "What's that?" asked Theron who was straining to hear over the hammering. "I said what a miserable existence these poor creatures have. A ghastly place if ever I saw one." "Better than the faeces painting I was expecting." added Elwanen. "Oi!" shouted the first goblin, "leave it out will you this the guardroom, this is where we…" the goblin was interrupted by loud footsteps and an angry voice. Emerging from behind a curtain on the other side of the room was a large, fat, tired looking goblin with a horned helmet above his chubby face. "What in the name of Maglubiyet's pitch-fork is all that banging?" shouted the fat, angry goblin. "We seek an audience with… (and do forgive me if I mispronounce the name)... Ka-la-rel." Des read out the name carefully from a secret document the party had captured from Irontooth, "Yes, with Kalarel." "Well you can't have one, you can just bugger off back to whatever wattle-and-daub-thatched-roof-pig-on-a-spit piss-hole you came from!" The adventurers looked at each other blankly. "Maybe he's not of sufficient status to command an audience with the aforementioned gentleman." suggested Des to his companions. "Listen here, the problem is we are guards, see? And we guard, g-ar-duh!" explained Balgron, spelling out his job title phonetically, "and we wouldnt be very good guards if just let every tom, dick or harriet who came breezing in here asking for audiences with this one or that one just walk right on through, with a 'and do have a nice day now dont you, dont go slipping on any miserable stairs while you walk through our miserable home now will you', now would we?" The adventurers agreed that he had a point. "Besides," continued Balgron, "you wouldnt get past the zombies anyway!" He laughed. The other goblins in the room laughed in chorus, although they were clearly quite nervous, "Now piss orf and take your banging with you!" "Well then my fine friends, let us away, we obviously have no further…" began Des, calmly. "CHAAARGE!" yelled Elwanen… The door swung shut behind them.Next update: The aftermath! A short post with some work for idle (branch-like) thumbs.</blockquote>

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