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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Goblyns Hoard" data-source="post: 2222931" data-attributes="member: 19970">Beholder PoetryBeholder poetry is of course the third worst poetry in the known multiverse.  In most cases it concentrates on trite imagery of eyes and teeth, with often indelicate metaphors of how they will enjoy eating your brains at the end of the poem.  Rhythm and meter are universally imperfect, though some beholders will defend this as an attempt to create a truly round poem, something that non-spherical beings can never truly grasp.   Of course most beholders prefer to just slay their critics and eat their brains.  The rather tiresome overtones of beholderity that can be found woven through the lines of the more subtle pieces of beholder poetry are undermined by the predictable tendency of beholders to kill each other on sight.The second worst poetry in the universe is that of Ashnameer the Mad, Baron of Broxby and second Earl of Easterby.  Ashanameer’s arch accomplishment is the ardent application of avoidable alliteration, a trait which some have reported to be contagious and sub-consciously taken up by those that have studied his works.  Ashnameer died during the final reading of his works which was given before the Grand Poetic Conclave of the 50 greatest poets in Nulate.  During the reading forty seven of the audience ran screaming from the halls as line after line of low-grade lyrics were laboriously laid before them.  Another two members of the conclave drowned in the projectile vomit emitted from the final member, the poet laureate Dame Taria Newcome, who herself died when her entire digestive system was eventually dislodged by here reaction to Ashnameer’s poetry.  Fortunately most of Ashnameer’s works were destroyed when his home was subjected to a devastating attack by the combined forces of Tiamat and Bahamut who later issued a joint press release to the effect that Ashnameer had decided to compose a poem in draconic, and that they couldn’t permit the noble language of their kind to be subjected to such an assault.  Ashnameer’s body was disposed of in a manner to prevent any form of resurrection, and his spirit could be found trapped on the 391st layer of the abyss, the Layer of Interminable Silence to which gossips, self-obsessed musicians and people that play personal stereos loudly on trains are forever banished.The very worst poetry in the known universe is that of K. Midget, though fortunately his poems are still relatively unknown beyond the small and mostly harmless blue-green planet on which he resides.  All information about Mr Midget’s poetry are automatically deleted in order to prevent mass hysteria and mayhem across the universe.  It is commonly acknowledged that the planet on which Mr Midget resides has already been dangerously contaminated and a total information blockade has been imposed by all other systems.</blockquote>

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