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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Goonalan" data-source="post: 3924891" data-attributes="member: 16069">It was a good session- although...Make of it what you will.Turn 7.2: The nonexistent tentacled horror.DMs Interlude- this may take a little explaining, like astrophysics, algebra and how they get jam in doughnuts. I’ll save the explanation for a little while though- so hang on.“It’s my tentacle.” Grand Alf pulls hard.“No. Mine.” Saradomin pulls harder, the elastic (nonexistent) tentacle stretches between the two warring Lost Boys, almost at breaking point.Jerky Timbers, holy Priest of St. Cuthbert wanders over to a quiet space away from the maelstrom and weeps.Aleso watches on, “go on Grand Alf”, he mutters beneath his breath.Dartamor hears him, “I’ll give you 2 to 1 on the Wizard?”The Paladin thinks about it, perhaps a little too long, he shakes his head reluctantly and then mutters a quick prayer to Pelor, asking for forgiveness for his wicked thoughts, and yet hoping for some sort of divine intervention which will leave the fat cleric of St. Cuthbert on his backside and tentacle-less.“It’s mine- I saw it first.” Grand Alf yells.“I killed it.” Saradomin counters.The (nonexistent) tentacle stretches a little further, the tug-of-war looks like it will be coming to a messy climax some time soon.“Three to one?” Dartamor stares hard at Aleso, he’s cracking.The Paladin sweats a little and calculates his prospective winnings, it doesn’t help that he has to use his fingers.“I made him go in there.” Grand Alf spits at Saradomin, all the time nodding towards Jerky.“So. I killed it you ragged fool. I killed it. It’s mine by rights.”The (nonexistent) tentacle stretches a little further past its breaking point, the onlookers take a step back, someone could have an eye out in the backlash if, and when, it breaks.Jerky looks up, nurses his blistered hand, the second fire worm retrieval operation didn’t go as smoothly as the first. The Gnome shakes his head, hopes it’ll all be over soon.“Four to one?”“I’ll wager ten gold coins.” The Paladin quick as a flash has the money in hand.“You’re on.” Dartamor scoops up the cash.“BY THE HOLY POWER OF PELOR. I IMPLORE YOU GREAT SHINING FATHER TO ADD YOUR STRENGTH TO THIS POOR…” Aleso tries to think of someway of adequately capturing Grand Alf’s character succinctly, it can’t be done. “POOR MISGUIDED WRETCH, I MEAN…” Grand Alf suddenly takes note of Aleso’s prayer, settles his cold hard stare on the now stuttering Paladin.“NO… NOT WRETCH OH SHINING ONE OF SUNNY COMPLEXION, certainly misguided, BUT NOT WRETCH. THIS… THIS… THIS GRAND ALF. I BEG YOU TO AID HIM IN HIS HOLY AND DIVINE STRUGGLE TO WREST THIS TENTACLE FROM THIS FOUL AND ABUSIVE CROWING DRUNKEN PRIEST OF SOME LESSER DIETY. AMEN.”Now its Saradomin’s turn to stare at Aleso, if looks could kill, well… Aleso’d be at a funeral now, although he probably wouldn’t catch much of the ceremony, not from inside the coffin. “You’re next.” Saradomin offers and the gets back to his present endeavour.“The (nonexistent) tentacle is mine, for I slayed… slained… slewed, that’s it, for I slewed this foul beast.”“Only after I risked life, limb and lab coat to lure it out for you- the killing was easy, look at my lab coat, it’s ruined.”Grand Alf hauls some more, Saradomin does the same, the (nonexistent) tentacle is now so thin, so drawn out, it looks like the pair are engaged in a tug-of-war using a strand of cooked spaghetti. Surely it must break soo…TWONGggggg g g g g .DMs Interlude, perhaps now is the right time for an explanation of events. The second Fire Worm slain Grand Alf once again sends Jerky in to fetch the beast, on the pretence that he wishes to search it for ‘treasure’, Jerky grumblingly obliges ending up with one burnt and blistered hand in the process. The creatures gut is hacked open, and a pair of shiny gems found- at present they reside in Aleso’s pocket- best not to ask how they got there, it may force further prayers to Pelor for forgiveness.Soon after, and already bored with his find, Grand Alf decides that he wants one of the (nonexistent) tentacles of the fiery worm. At about the same time as Saradomin decides the same thing.And yes, I know what you’re thinking, Thoqqua don’t have tentacles, well, you’d be right-<a href="http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/MM35_gallery/MM35_PG242a.jpg" target="_blank">http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/MM35_gallery/MM35_PG242a.jpg</a>However I don’t have a Thoqqua miniature, I do have a Grick-<a href="http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/MM35_gallery/MM35_PG139.jpg" target="_blank">http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/MM35_gallery/MM35_PG139.jpg</a>or rather-<a href="http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/GoL_Gallery/72GoL51Grick.jpg" target="_blank">http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/GoL_Gallery/72GoL51Grick.jpg</a>And they do.Have tentacles that is.So you can see how the confusion came about.And yes, I did point out that a Thoqqua doesn’t have any tentacles, a Grick does… but not a Thoqqua.This new information fell on deaf ears, it didn’t help that someone had spilt someone else’s orange squash earlier.The argument had already started.Remember Grand Alf is really eleven years old and wants a tentacle, no that’s not it- he wants that tentacle, that one, that one there- the one that’s stretched as thin as spaghetti between him and his fellow adventurer Saradomin. Who, one must also remember, is really eleven years old too.It’s an easy mistake to make, apparently.The Grick’s, sorry Thoqqua’s… No, Gricks’s other three (existent) tentacles remain attached to the rest of the Thoqqua.I mean Grick.They have somehow achieved pariah status.Where was I?Oh yes, back to the action.TWONGggggg g g g g .The (nonexistent) spaghetti tentacle breaks into two whirling lashing… oh heaven help me, smaller (nonexistent) spaghetti tentacles, their potential energies finally made kinetic.“OW.”Followed by…“OW.”Both combatants receive stinging, and scaring, lashes.Their energies finally spent the smaller (nonexistent) spaghetti tentacles flop and curl on the floor.Saradomin stares at Grand Alf.Grand Alf stares at Saradomin.They both stare at the wreck of the Grick… Thoqqua… Thoqqua-Grick.It has three more (nonexistent) tentacles left.What do you know- pariah status is suddenly lifted.Scramble.A little while later, all the dice now retrieved from the floor, the Lost Boys move on.Grand Alf totes and jiggles his (nonexistent and imaginary, remember) tentacle, he does a little dance, places the thing beneath his chin, like it’s a very thin beard, then moves it up to his nose, its an Oliphant’s trunk- such is the Sorcerer’s joy he has to stop what he’s doing and clap his hands and giggle, a little.Saradomin is likewise content; he is wearing his tentacle like a very short and very rubbery scarf, in a daringly casual, perhaps even rakish, manner. The Priest of St. Cuthbert grins to himself.At the back of the group Jerky follows after, head down, flopping on the floor behind him is the Gnomes new rubbery tail.Next Turn: A two pronged assault.</blockquote>

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