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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Goonalan" data-source="post: 4142590" data-attributes="member: 16069">Turn 8.8: Glory, glory SpadeinatorGrand Alf strikes.KER-THUNGConnects square-on with the side of the Paladin’s head, Sir Bradford is sent skittering back, engulfed in the rolling smoke, the remains of Bernard.“Nice one. What’s with the smoke? Nice effect.” Aleso states.Let’s go help Saradomin, the pair turn, then as swiftly turn back to stare, emerging from the swirling mist is Sir Bradford, the first Supplicant’s head is at a very disconcerting angle.“He should be dead. Shouldn’t he?” Aleso asks.“Mmm.” Grand Alf half-nods, half-shrugs and settles into a combat crouch, swishing Grand Alf’s Staff of Earth Moving around a bit.Sir Bradford staggers forward some more.“You can’t kill me.” Grand Alf states, full of menace, “for I am the chosen one, I am here to save the day, to rid the world from evil like you, there is nothing that you can do, my path is certain- it is written, no- said, no- written; it is written and said, has been said, saided- oh where was I? You may strike me down but I will only grow longer.”Aleso and Sir Bradford stare at Grand Alf mesmerised momentarily, and latterly confused.“Did I say longer? I meant stronger, I can only get stronger, if you strike me down- do you see, I will only strongerer, than I am now, if you strike me down.”Aleso shrugs at Sir Bradford, the tree-plant-man-Paladin shrugs back.“Can you feel the force?”Grand Alf goes cross-eyed for a second or two, like he’s quietly farting.Aleso and Sir Bradford continue to monitor the situation unsure of how to react; Aleso shakes his head to confirm that, indeed, he cannot feel the force. Sir Bradford puts his hand out, as if checking for rain, then shakes his head- the force is not being felt by him either.“Well I can, it’s heavy, and smells of strawberries- so there. The force is strong within me, I have a badge- it says so, and a Shirt-T, it says, and I quote- ‘The Force is strong within this one’, I got it from a convention.”Aleso and Sir Bradford nod, convinced of Grand Alf’s sincerity.“I can lift things, with my mind- and my hands, my mind moves my hands… and vice-versa; that’s the Force, mystical, magical… Mmm… marvellous, and all wobbly round the edges to look at.”Aleso and Sir Bradford attempt to see the wobbly around the edges Force, they’re disappointed.“See. I can see the Force. You can’t. It’s as simple as that, only very complex, with equations, fractions and those things with the two little circles- percentages, it involves algorithms, biorhythms, logarithms… Yes, I got rhythms.”Grand Alf does his crazy robot impression, you know one of those robotic techno style dance moves thingy- he’s… not very good.Aleso and Sir Bradford exchange confused looks.It goes quiet for a bit as Grand Alf dances on, the robot eating Magic Smash sandwich routine is followed by robot taking a mechanical poo.Sir Bradford shakes his head, it kinda thwops around about a bit, his neck is very broken- it has the desired affect, whatever spell is not being cast is broken, he’s back in the room. The ex-Paladin lances his glowing longsword forward and shuffles towards the mad Sorcerer, looking for an opening.“Wait. You don’t believe me? YOU DON’T BELIEVE ME?”Grand Alf is apoplectic, “Doubters, unbelievers, heretics, nay-sayers- and I don’t mean horses. I will demonstrate- feel my power.”Grand Alf drops his staff and puts his hands to his temples- projecting his minds will through his outstretched fingers.“I am in your mind.”He gravel-whispers at Sir Bradford, who shakes his floppy head some more.Aleso watches on eager to believe.“I am in the dark spaces, in the place that you dare not look- THE SPICE, ahem, ignore that. I am in the underpants of your mind, you cannot resist me, I am irresistible, like chocolate and dead people. Now… GIVVVEE MMMMEEEE YYYYOOOORRRREEE SSSWWWWOOOORRRDDD.”Grand Alf’s voice is a raspy, smoke-too-much, whisper crossed with a kind of screamed yodel, it’s not pleasant.And yet.Sir Bradford steps forward, wooden-like, drawn inexorably towards Grand Alf, he creeps, stops, shudders and moves on.“GIVVVEE MMMMEEEE YYYYOOOORRRREEE SSSWWWWOOOORRRDDD.”Grand Alf repeats endlessly.Sir Bradford struggles, shuffles forward some more, Aleso transfixed staggers backwards, almost drops his scimitar, the power of Grand Alf is revealed for all to see.Sir Bradford’s googly-eyed stare flickers to take in Aleso for a moment and then locks back on Grand Alf- the Supplicant staggers forward some more- almost there.“You cannot resist me, GIVVVEE MMMMEEEE YYYYOOOORRRREEE SSSWWWWOOOORRRDDD, I am using the Force, can you feel my Force- oh-oh-oh, can you feel my Force?”Sir Bradford gives Grand Alf his magical glowing sword, his most beloved of possessions in life, he leaves it with the Sorcerer and staggers backwards.“I…” Grand Alf begins.“That’s…” Aleso offers.“I…” Grand Alf tries once more.“It’s…” Aleso counters.“I…” Grand Alf collapses, lies there.Sir Bradford’s blade sticking out of his chest.Between the fifth and sixth rib, the heart area.Grand Alf lies there.Doing nothing.Not even breathing.Gory, gory the spadeinator is no more.Next Turn: Three’s a crowd.</blockquote>

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