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<blockquote data-quote="BoldItalic" data-source="post: 7300831" data-attributes="member: 6777052"><p>"Well....It's like this............"</p><p></p><p>Od sumoned up all his story-telling skills to try to make what he was about to relate sound halfway plausible. Which it wasn't. Even when he glossed over the complicated bits, it was still crazy.</p><p></p><p>"My step-father, Jonas, who is also his own aunt twice removed (it's a tight-knit family) goes mad and hairy every full moon so my step-mother Betty has to lock him up in the cellar for a few days otherwise he will start eating his relatives (which is the entire village, one way or another). He was Cursed By Fate two years back. Fate is the village witch, by the way, and is everybody's grandmother so no-one can get rid of her but she's really nasty and does things like turning people blue for no reason. Now Betty used to be a priestess of Lolth until she Fell From Grace and had to run away. She won't talk about it but she goes all weird if you mention slave boys and manacles. Anyway, she married Jonas for his money but then found out he hadn't got any and she's never forgiven him and keeps him locked up in the cellar even after the full moon, just out of spite."</p><p></p><p>Herewulf nodded. "So, what exactly is the problem?" he asked.</p><p></p><p>"The cat's gone missing."</p><p></p><p>"And the cat is ... ?"</p><p></p><p>"My uncle Barnabas."</p><p></p><p>"I see. What do you make of this, brother Nordthew? What do you propose?"</p><p></p><p>"Obviously a hotbed of evil. Plunder the village, slaughter the inhabitants and raze it to the ground."</p><p></p><p>"You mean kill everybody and take all their stuff?"</p><p></p><p>"How else?"</p><p></p><p>"Er ..." interjected Od. "That's <em>my</em> village we're talking about."</p><p></p><p>"Good. You can give us the inside on where all the loot is stashed."</p><p></p><p>"That isn't ..."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BoldItalic, post: 7300831, member: 6777052"] "Well....It's like this............" Od sumoned up all his story-telling skills to try to make what he was about to relate sound halfway plausible. Which it wasn't. Even when he glossed over the complicated bits, it was still crazy. "My step-father, Jonas, who is also his own aunt twice removed (it's a tight-knit family) goes mad and hairy every full moon so my step-mother Betty has to lock him up in the cellar for a few days otherwise he will start eating his relatives (which is the entire village, one way or another). He was Cursed By Fate two years back. Fate is the village witch, by the way, and is everybody's grandmother so no-one can get rid of her but she's really nasty and does things like turning people blue for no reason. Now Betty used to be a priestess of Lolth until she Fell From Grace and had to run away. She won't talk about it but she goes all weird if you mention slave boys and manacles. Anyway, she married Jonas for his money but then found out he hadn't got any and she's never forgiven him and keeps him locked up in the cellar even after the full moon, just out of spite." Herewulf nodded. "So, what exactly is the problem?" he asked. "The cat's gone missing." "And the cat is ... ?" "My uncle Barnabas." "I see. What do you make of this, brother Nordthew? What do you propose?" "Obviously a hotbed of evil. Plunder the village, slaughter the inhabitants and raze it to the ground." "You mean kill everybody and take all their stuff?" "How else?" "Er ..." interjected Od. "That's [i]my[/i] village we're talking about." "Good. You can give us the inside on where all the loot is stashed." "That isn't ..." [/QUOTE]
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