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Message: <blockquote data-quote="BoldItalic" data-source="post: 7315508" data-attributes="member: 6777052">Snappy, for it was indeed he, was balancing a conch shell on his nose as he said this. Also, you might not be at all surprised to hear that he was accompanied by a team of mermaids riding pink narwhals. "Coo-ee," called Xena."When I said marines," groaned Herewulf, "I didn't mean ...""Well, you know how it is with Wishes," replied Od, "You get what you ask for. Besides, the mermaids are equipped with waterproof crossbows and 3d6 bolts. What more do you want?"Before Herewulf could answer, they were hailed by a stern voice from the Phase Rider. "Surrender your weapons!" it called rudely. "And be quick about it!" added the bow voice.The gnome with SKIPPER on his hat glanced at the FIRST MATE and made a motion with his thumbs (which, if you recall, were bound together). "See that space on their deck, just forrard of the mizzen? Lodge us there, Mister Mate." So the mate turned to the BOSUN and gave his orders. "Prepare for Board and Lodging!" he shouted to the other gnomes. Then the boat, propelled by 14 mage hands, lifted clear out of the water, slid sideways and came to rest gently on the deck of the Phase Rider. If a boat could look smug, it was grinning from ear to ear."Od," said Nord quietly, "You know how, when we do Mage Hand it can only lift 10 pounds? How come just 14 of them can lift an entire boat?"Od tried to look knowledgable because he didn't like to admit that there were things that even bards don't understand, and he made up a completely bogus answer. "It's the nautical version. They're using lugger rhythms. The first Hand does 10, then each extra Hand adds zero, so with fourteen you get 100000000000000 pounds, or about the weight of a small country."There wasn't time to debate the point, however, because at that moment the captain of the Phase Rider came striding down the deck towards them. He didn't need to take many strides because he was a thirty-foot tall storm giant skeleton. Did I not mention that? Also, he was wearing one of those viking helmets with the up-turned cow horns and carrying a club the size of a small tree, which he brandished menacingly.Jeli leapt from the deck of the boat and strode forward to meet him. "Neptune or Poseidon?" she demanded. As she spoke, thunder clouds roiled overhead and flashes of lightning flickered menacingly over the sea. She was doing Storm Druid. The giant skeleton was clearly nonplussed by the question and slightly unnerved by the impending storm. Something you don't want to be doing, in a thunderstorm, is wearing a helmet with up-turned cow horns and standing on a wet deck in an ocean of salt water. It's bad luck."I .." he began, but he got no further. "It's a trick question, isn't it?" he said hopefully.Just then, FIRST MATE tapped BOSUN on the shoulder with his mage hand. "Are you sensing what I'm sensing? Somewhere deep below us in the abyss?"The BOSUN nodded. "It's the Mother of All Krakens. Like in the legends. Do you think we should tell anybody?""Best not to worry them right now.""As you say. Why do you think the skeleton crew are jumping overboard? Are they afraid of the storm?""I don't think skeletons understand Fear. More likely it's that song the mermaids are singing. Skeletons aren't immune to Beguile.""Lucky we're Clay Gnomes, then, or we'd be over the rail and joining them. That paladin fellow is struggling against it, though. The way he keeps staring at one of those mermaids. It's unhealthy.""Each to his own. Any port in a storm and all that. Speaking of storms, shouldn't we be seizing this ship, round about now?""Best wait for the Skipper to give the order.""Fair enough."Meanwhile, far below in the abyss, Penelope ...</blockquote>

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