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<blockquote data-quote="Prof Yeti" data-source="post: 2606870" data-attributes="member: 24682">Ozmar - Well here goes the first draft for your perusal. (It's only sblocked to save space. So anybody feel free to look and critique. I try and find the rough stuff but I still miss stuff. <img src="http://www.enworld.org/forum/images/smilies/nervous.png"&nbsp; class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":heh:" title="Nervous Laugh&nbsp; &nbsp; :heh:" data-shortname=":heh:" /> )Mindwalker[sblock]Name: Gabriel DaneSpecies: HumanGender: MaleAge: 19Height: 5’10”Weight: 156Hair Color: BlackEye Color: BlueProfession: MindwalkerLevel: 1Career: Espion/ Telepath (Mind Knight)Last Resort Points: 2Last Resort Cost: 2Allegiance: Concorde (Solar Union - Japan)AttributesMotivation: Yearn to Learn~ Gabriel seeks to master the mysteries and secrets of the psionic arts.Morale Attitude: Honorable~ Gabriel’ word is his bond and an extension of his own personal code of dignity, integrity, and pride.Character Traits: Mysterious~ Gabriel exudes an aura of secrets, a side effect of being a private person.Character Traits: Calm~ A stoic figure, Gabriel rarely shows any extreme emotion.Attribute – Score – Untrained – Res. Mod.Strength –&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 8 (4 - +0)Dexterity –&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 8 (4 - +0)Constitution –&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 10 (5 - +0)Intelligence –&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 12 (6 - +1)Willpower –&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 12 (6 - +1)Personality –&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 12 (6 - +1)Actions Per Round – 2Action Check ScoreMarginal: 12+Ordinary: 11Good: 5Amazing: 2 Die: +d0Durability – Stun: 10Wound: 10Mortal: 5Fatigue: 5Combat Movement Rates – Sprint: 16Run: 10Walk: 4Easy Swim: 2 Swim: 4Skills [separated by key ability, Skill Pts. by Int – 71/ Total Pts. Spent + Perk Pts. 74]Athletics&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 8/4/2&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; (Free)Stamina&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 10/5/2&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; (Free)Vehicle Op&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 8/4/2&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; (Free)Knowledge&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 12/6/3&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; (Free)~ Computer Operations 1&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 13/6/3&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; (1)~ Deduce 1&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 13/6/3&nbsp; &nbsp; (2)~ First Aid 1&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 13/6/3&nbsp; &nbsp; (2)~ Psionics 1&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 13/6/3&nbsp; &nbsp; (1)~ Language – Galactic Standard 3&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 15/7/3&nbsp; &nbsp; (Free)~ Language – Fraal 3&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 15/7/3&nbsp; &nbsp; (3)System Operations&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 12/6/3&nbsp; &nbsp; (4)~ Communications 1&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 13/6/3&nbsp; &nbsp; (3) ESP&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 12/6/3&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; (5)~ Empathy 1&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 13/6/3&nbsp; &nbsp; (1)~ Mind Reading 1&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 13/6/3&nbsp; &nbsp; (3)~ Navcognition 1&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 13/6/3&nbsp; &nbsp; (3) ~ Sensitivity 1&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 13/6/3&nbsp; &nbsp; (2)Awareness&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 12/6/3&nbsp; &nbsp; (Free)~ Intuition 1&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 13/6/3&nbsp; &nbsp; (3)~ Perception 1&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 13/6/3&nbsp; &nbsp; (2)Resolve&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 12/6/3&nbsp; &nbsp; (5)Telekinesis&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 12/6/3&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; (6)~ Kinetic Shield 1&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 13/6/3&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; (2)~ Levitate 1&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 13/6/3&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; (2)~ Pyrokinetics 1&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 13/6/3&nbsp; &nbsp; (4)Interaction&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 12/6/3&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; (Free)Telepathy&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 12/6/3&nbsp; &nbsp; (5)~ Contact 1&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 13/6/3&nbsp; &nbsp; (3)~ Mind Blast 1&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 13/6/3&nbsp; &nbsp; (4)~ Mind Shield 1&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 13/6/3&nbsp; &nbsp; (2) ~ Suggestion 1&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 13/6/3&nbsp; &nbsp; (3)~ Tire 1&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 13/6/3&nbsp; &nbsp; (3)Perks – Good Looks (+3)Psionic Awareness (+3)Flaws – Code of Honor (-3) [Da’Shan Order]Divided Loyalty (-4) [Da’Shan Order vs. Concorde]Powerful Enemy (-2) [VoidCorp] (They still want their “Asset” returned.)Signature Equipment: None Listed for any Mindwalker CareerEquipment – Waiting for Starting Funds VerificationAllegiance: ConcordeWhile unsure exactly why he is stationed aboard a starship Gabriel welcomes the challenge. The chance to experience and test his abilities outside the walls of the Order is something that he couldn’t refuse.Authority: 3 (+1 Mindwalker, +2 Allegiance) +2 Penalty [Career Equivalent (Bonus)]Wealth: 4 (+3 Mindwalker, +1 Allegiance) $2,000/month [Career Equivalent (Bonus)]Fame: 3 (+2 Mindwalker, +1 Allegiance) +2 Penalty [Career Equivalent (Bonus)]Appearance – Gabriel Dane is a Human male of average height and weight, 5’10” and 156 lbs. His build is best described as slight, or wiry. His features are somewhat sharp but well proportioned, giving him an appearance that is both pleasing and intense. His hair is black almost to the point of looking blue, which he wears long almost reaching his shoulder blades. Gabriel also wears a goatee that is meticulously groomed. But the most striking feature is his eyes, a dark blue, which seem equally adept at conveying comfort and menace. He normally wears an outfit consisting of a jumpsuit, soft boots, and a cassock. His outfits are normally loose but not baggy, to maximize comfort without affecting his movement. The outfit is normally a uniform black. Though the cassock changes color for a variety of events.Personality – If there were just one word to describe Voren Dane, it would be “Driven”. He is known as a friendly and jovial person, that is easy to get along with and a font of knowledge just for the asking, and sometimes even if you don’t. But if he has a task at hand to focus on he does just that no matter the obstacles set before him. Background – Gabriel was born on the planet Earth, or more specifically the city of New Tokyo, almost 20 years ago. Not knowing his father, and his unknown mother (both expatriates from VoidCorp) dying during childbirth, he was brought up within the Da’Shan Orders monastery. But despite the hardship of his birth he flourished within the walls growing up as most children are hoped to do. He made friends, played both nice and at times mischievously, and with his charisma and willingness to help other quickly became a favorite within the monasteries orphanage.But his carefree days would come to an end shortly after his 12th birthday. It was at this time that the Order tested him and the other children his age for psionic ability. Almost immediately after discovering his potential he was invited to learn with the other Da’Shan. His assigned mentor, Rufus Grey-Wolf, would become like a father to him. Night and day Elder Grey-Wolf taught the boy who with single-minded determination soaked up every lesson he could. Gabriel continued this over the next 6 years honing his craft and learning all he could of what his teacher had to offer. But only when he had mastered the basics of the craft, did the Elders confer the rank of Adept upon Gabriel.Though in the summer of his 18th year Gabriel’s life would change most drastically. While spending some time alone meditating he was approached by a small group of men speaking loudly to Elder Grey-Wolf. Of every thing being said three things stood out as if a clarion call. First that Gabriel’ parents had been “runaway assets” of the stellar nation known as VoidCorp. Next he learned that his parent’s names had been Thomas and Elizabeth Dane. After that Gabriel learned that they wanted to return the remaining asset to the corporation for reassignment. No sooner had he let this information sink in than the men would take the encounter down a very dangerous road.With their argument apparently not having the effect desired the strangers began pulling weapons of a multitude of types. They had sought to force the issue in their favor but instead Gabriel and Grey-Wolf show them the power of the Da’Shan. In a matter of seconds the VoidCorp employees were engulfed in two closely centered flash fire coalescing out of thin air. The fight that followed would be short and brutal, even more so by the fact that it would see Elder Gray-Wolf fall. Quickly upon hearing of the treachery the master of the Da’Shan Order called Gabriel before him. Gabriel was told that the VoidCorp are not the types to give up easily and would come again. While the Elder could defend themselves for the safety of the children he would need to leave the monastery. But the master explained that he had an idea that may prove suitable. The master quickly outlined his idea. The Concorde had communicated their interest in learning more of the Da’Shan and their special abilities. So to satisfy them Gabriel would act as the Orders representative with the Concorde. And while VoidCorp has little respect for the Order they would have second thoughts of trying to force the Concorde to acquiesce. A few days later Gabriel would find himself stepping thru the doors of a Concorde Indoctrination Center. [/sblock]</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Prof Yeti, post: 2606870, member: 24682"] Ozmar - Well here goes the first draft for your perusal. (It's only sblocked to save space. So anybody feel free to look and critique. I try and find the rough stuff but I still miss stuff. :heh: ) Mindwalker[sblock] Name: Gabriel Dane Species: Human Gender: Male Age: 19 Height: 5’10” Weight: 156 Hair Color: Black Eye Color: Blue Profession: Mindwalker Level: 1 Career: Espion/ Telepath (Mind Knight) Last Resort Points: 2 Last Resort Cost: 2 Allegiance: Concorde (Solar Union - Japan) Attributes Motivation: Yearn to Learn ~ Gabriel seeks to master the mysteries and secrets of the psionic arts. Morale Attitude: Honorable ~ Gabriel’ word is his bond and an extension of his own personal code of dignity, integrity, and pride. Character Traits: Mysterious ~ Gabriel exudes an aura of secrets, a side effect of being a private person. Character Traits: Calm ~ A stoic figure, Gabriel rarely shows any extreme emotion. Attribute – Score – Untrained – Res. Mod. Strength – 8 (4 - +0) Dexterity – 8 (4 - +0) Constitution – 10 (5 - +0) Intelligence – 12 (6 - +1) Willpower – 12 (6 - +1) Personality – 12 (6 - +1) Actions Per Round – 2 Action Check Score Marginal: 12+ Ordinary: 11 Good: 5 Amazing: 2 Die: +d0 Durability – Stun: 10 Wound: 10 Mortal: 5 Fatigue: 5 Combat Movement Rates – Sprint: 16 Run: 10 Walk: 4 Easy Swim: 2 Swim: 4 Skills [separated by key ability, Skill Pts. by Int – 71/ Total Pts. Spent + Perk Pts. 74] Athletics 8/4/2 (Free) Stamina 10/5/2 (Free) Vehicle Op 8/4/2 (Free) Knowledge 12/6/3 (Free) ~ Computer Operations 1 13/6/3 (1) ~ Deduce 1 13/6/3 (2) ~ First Aid 1 13/6/3 (2) ~ Psionics 1 13/6/3 (1) ~ Language – Galactic Standard 3 15/7/3 (Free) ~ Language – Fraal 3 15/7/3 (3) System Operations 12/6/3 (4) ~ Communications 1 13/6/3 (3) ESP 12/6/3 (5) ~ Empathy 1 13/6/3 (1) ~ Mind Reading 1 13/6/3 (3) ~ Navcognition 1 13/6/3 (3) ~ Sensitivity 1 13/6/3 (2) Awareness 12/6/3 (Free) ~ Intuition 1 13/6/3 (3) ~ Perception 1 13/6/3 (2) Resolve 12/6/3 (5) Telekinesis 12/6/3 (6) ~ Kinetic Shield 1 13/6/3 (2) ~ Levitate 1 13/6/3 (2) ~ Pyrokinetics 1 13/6/3 (4) Interaction 12/6/3 (Free) Telepathy 12/6/3 (5) ~ Contact 1 13/6/3 (3) ~ Mind Blast 1 13/6/3 (4) ~ Mind Shield 1 13/6/3 (2) ~ Suggestion 1 13/6/3 (3) ~ Tire 1 13/6/3 (3) Perks – Good Looks (+3) Psionic Awareness (+3) Flaws – Code of Honor (-3) [Da’Shan Order] Divided Loyalty (-4) [Da’Shan Order vs. Concorde] Powerful Enemy (-2) [VoidCorp] (They still want their “Asset” returned.) Signature Equipment: None Listed for any Mindwalker Career Equipment – Waiting for Starting Funds Verification Allegiance: Concorde While unsure exactly why he is stationed aboard a starship Gabriel welcomes the challenge. The chance to experience and test his abilities outside the walls of the Order is something that he couldn’t refuse. Authority: 3 (+1 Mindwalker, +2 Allegiance) +2 Penalty [Career Equivalent (Bonus)] Wealth: 4 (+3 Mindwalker, +1 Allegiance) $2,000/month [Career Equivalent (Bonus)] Fame: 3 (+2 Mindwalker, +1 Allegiance) +2 Penalty [Career Equivalent (Bonus)] Appearance – Gabriel Dane is a Human male of average height and weight, 5’10” and 156 lbs. His build is best described as slight, or wiry. His features are somewhat sharp but well proportioned, giving him an appearance that is both pleasing and intense. His hair is black almost to the point of looking blue, which he wears long almost reaching his shoulder blades. Gabriel also wears a goatee that is meticulously groomed. But the most striking feature is his eyes, a dark blue, which seem equally adept at conveying comfort and menace. He normally wears an outfit consisting of a jumpsuit, soft boots, and a cassock. His outfits are normally loose but not baggy, to maximize comfort without affecting his movement. The outfit is normally a uniform black. Though the cassock changes color for a variety of events. Personality – If there were just one word to describe Voren Dane, it would be “Driven”. He is known as a friendly and jovial person, that is easy to get along with and a font of knowledge just for the asking, and sometimes even if you don’t. But if he has a task at hand to focus on he does just that no matter the obstacles set before him. Background – Gabriel was born on the planet Earth, or more specifically the city of New Tokyo, almost 20 years ago. Not knowing his father, and his unknown mother (both expatriates from VoidCorp) dying during childbirth, he was brought up within the Da’Shan Orders monastery. But despite the hardship of his birth he flourished within the walls growing up as most children are hoped to do. He made friends, played both nice and at times mischievously, and with his charisma and willingness to help other quickly became a favorite within the monasteries orphanage. But his carefree days would come to an end shortly after his 12th birthday. It was at this time that the Order tested him and the other children his age for psionic ability. Almost immediately after discovering his potential he was invited to learn with the other Da’Shan. His assigned mentor, Rufus Grey-Wolf, would become like a father to him. Night and day Elder Grey-Wolf taught the boy who with single-minded determination soaked up every lesson he could. Gabriel continued this over the next 6 years honing his craft and learning all he could of what his teacher had to offer. But only when he had mastered the basics of the craft, did the Elders confer the rank of Adept upon Gabriel. Though in the summer of his 18th year Gabriel’s life would change most drastically. While spending some time alone meditating he was approached by a small group of men speaking loudly to Elder Grey-Wolf. Of every thing being said three things stood out as if a clarion call. First that Gabriel’ parents had been “runaway assets” of the stellar nation known as VoidCorp. Next he learned that his parent’s names had been Thomas and Elizabeth Dane. After that Gabriel learned that they wanted to return the remaining asset to the corporation for reassignment. No sooner had he let this information sink in than the men would take the encounter down a very dangerous road. With their argument apparently not having the effect desired the strangers began pulling weapons of a multitude of types. They had sought to force the issue in their favor but instead Gabriel and Grey-Wolf show them the power of the Da’Shan. In a matter of seconds the VoidCorp employees were engulfed in two closely centered flash fire coalescing out of thin air. The fight that followed would be short and brutal, even more so by the fact that it would see Elder Gray-Wolf fall. Quickly upon hearing of the treachery the master of the Da’Shan Order called Gabriel before him. Gabriel was told that the VoidCorp are not the types to give up easily and would come again. While the Elder could defend themselves for the safety of the children he would need to leave the monastery. But the master explained that he had an idea that may prove suitable. The master quickly outlined his idea. The Concorde had communicated their interest in learning more of the Da’Shan and their special abilities. So to satisfy them Gabriel would act as the Orders representative with the Concorde. And while VoidCorp has little respect for the Order they would have second thoughts of trying to force the Concorde to acquiesce. A few days later Gabriel would find himself stepping thru the doors of a Concorde Indoctrination Center. [/sblock] [/QUOTE]

Verification