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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Altalazar" data-source="post: 29044" data-attributes="member: 939">The Riley Chronicles: The Universe According To RileyVolume One: The Early YearsChapter One: The Meeting of the GnomesI begin this most important chronicle with The Meeting of the Gnomes in the far-flung village tavern.  We had gathered together to do a job for the local THANGs (Those wHo Are Not Gnomes) who were wringing their hands over the acquisition of something known as tannil root.  Being the Understanding Gnome that I am (always in the service of the One True Gnome), I immediately agreed to the service, after allowing some haggling over price by the solid Clayton, the Gnome Ranger.  I, of course, put in a clause to restore to full serviceability any clothing that suffered harm in the service of the THANGs.  I have an image to uphold, after all.  This far out in the badlands of AFFG (Areas Far From Gnomes) it can be most difficult to find decent clothing.I shall now describe The Gnomes.  As already mentioned, there was Clayton, the Gnome Ranger.  He seems to know his place in the world as a Gnome.  Being a gnome, he is, of course, far superior than all other Rangers I have known, though he does not seem to be an example of the best the Gnome Ranger could have to offer.  Then there is Lark, the Druid of the Gnome.  She also is haughty enough to be a Good Gnome when dealing with the THANGs.  She, as a gnome, has a finer understanding of nature than even the druid THANGs, but they, understandably non-gnome-like, completely fail to grasp this.  Roondar is the Gnome of the Fist and Feet Fighting Arts.  He is a quiet gnome, as befits his contemplative calling.  As a gnome, he is more than a match for the lanky, awkward, tallish THANG fighters known as 'monks.' Our Great Band of Gnomes set off on our errand for the hapless THANGs at sundown, planning on travelling by night, sleeping by day.  Only we gnomes could be so clever as to take advantage of our night-eyes.  After several days uneventful travel, we came upon a group of the worst type of THANGs:  goblinoids.  In this case, Kobolds.  They were clumsily attempting an ambush against us on the trail.  We gnomes easily heard them smashing through the grass from many leagues away and, predictably, we gnomes were the ones springing an ambush.  I estimate 12 seconds between the time we first saw the hapless humanoids and the time they all struck the ground as corpses.  I easily ran them through from behind with my gnomish blade.  The Kobold trail proved ridiculously easy to follow for us gnomes, and we headed to their lair.  The Druid proved most annoying, acting in a most un-gnomish manner by refusing to see the ease with which we would dispatch them in their lair.  When the Gnome Ranger and I boldly rushed the door, quickly dispatching  their guards in a behind-the-door-frame ambush and wardog cavalry charge, we went back and retrieved the Druid from her hilltop perch.  I received one minor wound, a testament to my noble bravery in facing down so many goblinoids.The lair, as it turned out, was a residence of some impressiveness, perhaps once being a temple to some forgotten false god of the THANGs.  Its splendor was mute testimony to the fact that the goblinoid THANGs did not construct it.  Their waste and stench were the only contributions to its architectural style.  Room by room, we relieved the golibnoids of their miserable existence, taking down a few hobgobilns as well as the dim but vicious Kobolds.  I, in my infinite Gnomishness, found a silver box containing an impressive silver dagger and a silver 'key' of sorts with a wavy pattern of lines upon its face that matched the same pattern on the compounds' impressive altar.  The key, when placed in the proper alignment, opened a secret storage room wherein we found many impressive weapons.  I grabbed a lovely enchanted longsword for myself, though I much prefer the shorter bladed masterwork weapon I also found therein.  Oh, of course we found the tannil root.  How could we not?  And we also found a rather dim-witted ogre, who we peppered with arrows after he failed to see reason.  ("It's Ok.  We're gnomes.").  I had plans of claiming this place as my own.  Time would tell on that one.  With a load of loot upon our ass, we headed back to get our denoument and payment for a job well done.  Of course, it was no great surprise to us, as gnomes, though the THANGs always seem impressed by our accomplishments.  The simple among them probably simply cannot comprehend just how different we Gnomes see the world and cannot understand our ease with dealing with what is, for them, insurmountable problems.</blockquote>

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