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<blockquote data-quote="Altalazar" data-source="post: 29050" data-attributes="member: 939">Chapter Four: The druids can finally get on with it: The Gnomes Have Returned (And thChapter Four: The druids can finally get on with it: The Gnomes Have Returned (And the furniture is getting ornery)&nbsp; &nbsp; Why are water clocks so expensive?&nbsp; That was the question I was asking myself as I was being pummeled to death by a large, sticky, toothy piece of furniture with a limited vocabulary.&nbsp; Wait, I need to back up.&nbsp; &nbsp; The water clock question actually first came up much earlier.&nbsp; We had gone back to town to take care of business.&nbsp; I was looking for a war dog suitable for a noble.&nbsp; Proud lineage, perfect form, a dog to make even an Emperor Gnome weep with joy in seeing its awesome beauty of form and purpose.&nbsp; But all they had was this mongrel mutt, so the druid took it.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; I was gathering special inks and papers for the transcribing of my spells when I came across a rather large, interesting looking contraption in a sage's (THANG) shop.&nbsp; I, being a Gnome knew immediately what it was, but asked the sage to test him.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &quot;What is that thing, THANG?&quot;&nbsp; &nbsp; &quot;What?&nbsp; Oh that, that is my pride and joy.&nbsp; A water clock I built with my own hands.&nbsp; Why, I remember…&quot;&nbsp; I cut him off before he could bore me with his non-gnomish gibberish.&nbsp; &nbsp; &quot;How much is it?&quot;&nbsp; &nbsp; &quot;I could part with it for no less than a thousand pieces of gold?&quot;&nbsp; &nbsp; The statement hit me with a thud.&nbsp; Or wait, was that the furniture slamming me against the floor?&nbsp; I forget which it was now.&nbsp; &nbsp; &quot;Ok.&nbsp;&nbsp; I shall be back to buy it soon.&nbsp; Take good care of my water clock.&quot;&nbsp; &nbsp; I tossed him a few gold to keep him happy and left the shop.&nbsp; Maybe I should have tossed him more gold.&nbsp; Wait a minute, why is Skornd tossing him gold too?&nbsp; Or wait, Skornd is tossing blood soaked coins at a nasty looking table.&nbsp; It just doesn't go with the other furniture at all.&nbsp; It certainly isn't as well behaved.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Anyway, we headed back to the Druids, who were sitting around waiting for us to return, totally unable to take action without the awesome power of Gnomes there to be their guiding light.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; I remember seeing lots of lights, spinning through the air, twirling around my head.&nbsp; Wait, that was just after I hit the floor head first.&nbsp; &nbsp; We went back to the goblin pile of crap they called a village and the druids opened up a hole for us to go through.&nbsp; They gave us a crystal to open it ourselves from the other side, and then in a typical lapse of judgement, they gave it to the Gnome Ranger, when I'm the only one who can activate it.&nbsp; I also got them to open up the portal from their side on a regular, daily schedule, just in case we needed alternate means.&nbsp; (Leaving unsaid my own doubts about their 'crystal power' nonsense.)&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; We ended up in an apparently large complex with at least five other portals to other places.&nbsp; Some look functional, some look like THANG art sculpture sold to cheap wanna-be-gnomes-humans who want to look like they are sophisticated.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; In the room beyond the first three portal rooms, braziers of fire came to life and attacked us.&nbsp; Being gnomes, they were dispatched with ease, and as I pummeled the last one out of existence, I idly wondered if the water clock had a water equivalent creature inside, turning the wheels.&nbsp; Perhaps that is why it is so expensive.&nbsp; &nbsp; My head hurts.&nbsp; &nbsp; In rooms beyond, we found foul stenches, walking dead, more fire creatures, and a large pile of steaming Otuyugh in the garbage.&nbsp; I leaped boldly forth to fight it, sending it back to the garbage from whence it came in a display of dashing noble Gnomish bravery (everything beyond 'Gnomish' is redundant, but I write for the benefit of THANG posterity).&nbsp; I slammed it.&nbsp; I slammed it hard.&nbsp; Slam slam slam.&nbsp; Again and again and again.&nbsp; &nbsp; Exploring the rooms beyond, we manage to rest a bit to give us time to contemplate the non-gnomish world around us.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; In our explorations, we come upon a cluttered room. The furniture is atrocious.&nbsp; It has no manners whatsoever.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; If it likes gold so much, why doesn't it have any?&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; So we are standing there, minding our own Gnomish business, when suddenly the chair by the door starts attacking.&nbsp; It shoots out an arm and sticks to me.&nbsp; How rude.&nbsp; I tried to break free, to wiggle free, and it stuck on me like idiocy on a NonGe (Non-Gnome).&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; So I was thinking that a thousand gold for a simple water clock is just too expensive.&nbsp; What sort of materials went into it?&nbsp; It looked pretty ordinary.&nbsp; It did not detect as magical.&nbsp; It just had water and a bunch of gears and other moving parts.&nbsp; So what exactly does the money pay for?&nbsp; The sage was a NonGe, so it couldn't be for the skill and talent of the maker.&nbsp; Perhaps it was stolen from a Gnome?&nbsp; That would explain why it seems to work.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; So now it is a mattress.&nbsp; We go back and take care of it, getting back the gold we threw at it.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Why is the room still spinning?&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; There are four torches.&nbsp; &nbsp; So we returned to our explorations, unsure of where there is value, but sure that we will not be so nice to the furniture the next time around.&nbsp; Definitely NonGe made.&nbsp; Poor craftsmanship.&nbsp; Even wasn't able to get its own gold without Gnome intervention.&nbsp; What a consumate NonGe.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Altalazar, post: 29050, member: 939"] [b]Chapter Four: The druids can finally get on with it: The Gnomes Have Returned (And th[/b] Chapter Four: The druids can finally get on with it: The Gnomes Have Returned (And the furniture is getting ornery) Why are water clocks so expensive? That was the question I was asking myself as I was being pummeled to death by a large, sticky, toothy piece of furniture with a limited vocabulary. Wait, I need to back up. The water clock question actually first came up much earlier. We had gone back to town to take care of business. I was looking for a war dog suitable for a noble. Proud lineage, perfect form, a dog to make even an Emperor Gnome weep with joy in seeing its awesome beauty of form and purpose. But all they had was this mongrel mutt, so the druid took it. I was gathering special inks and papers for the transcribing of my spells when I came across a rather large, interesting looking contraption in a sage's (THANG) shop. I, being a Gnome knew immediately what it was, but asked the sage to test him. "What is that thing, THANG?" "What? Oh that, that is my pride and joy. A water clock I built with my own hands. Why, I remember…" I cut him off before he could bore me with his non-gnomish gibberish. "How much is it?" "I could part with it for no less than a thousand pieces of gold?" The statement hit me with a thud. Or wait, was that the furniture slamming me against the floor? I forget which it was now. "Ok. I shall be back to buy it soon. Take good care of my water clock." I tossed him a few gold to keep him happy and left the shop. Maybe I should have tossed him more gold. Wait a minute, why is Skornd tossing him gold too? Or wait, Skornd is tossing blood soaked coins at a nasty looking table. It just doesn't go with the other furniture at all. It certainly isn't as well behaved. Anyway, we headed back to the Druids, who were sitting around waiting for us to return, totally unable to take action without the awesome power of Gnomes there to be their guiding light. I remember seeing lots of lights, spinning through the air, twirling around my head. Wait, that was just after I hit the floor head first. We went back to the goblin pile of crap they called a village and the druids opened up a hole for us to go through. They gave us a crystal to open it ourselves from the other side, and then in a typical lapse of judgement, they gave it to the Gnome Ranger, when I'm the only one who can activate it. I also got them to open up the portal from their side on a regular, daily schedule, just in case we needed alternate means. (Leaving unsaid my own doubts about their 'crystal power' nonsense.) We ended up in an apparently large complex with at least five other portals to other places. Some look functional, some look like THANG art sculpture sold to cheap wanna-be-gnomes-humans who want to look like they are sophisticated. In the room beyond the first three portal rooms, braziers of fire came to life and attacked us. Being gnomes, they were dispatched with ease, and as I pummeled the last one out of existence, I idly wondered if the water clock had a water equivalent creature inside, turning the wheels. Perhaps that is why it is so expensive. My head hurts. In rooms beyond, we found foul stenches, walking dead, more fire creatures, and a large pile of steaming Otuyugh in the garbage. I leaped boldly forth to fight it, sending it back to the garbage from whence it came in a display of dashing noble Gnomish bravery (everything beyond 'Gnomish' is redundant, but I write for the benefit of THANG posterity). I slammed it. I slammed it hard. Slam slam slam. Again and again and again. Exploring the rooms beyond, we manage to rest a bit to give us time to contemplate the non-gnomish world around us. In our explorations, we come upon a cluttered room. The furniture is atrocious. It has no manners whatsoever. If it likes gold so much, why doesn't it have any? So we are standing there, minding our own Gnomish business, when suddenly the chair by the door starts attacking. It shoots out an arm and sticks to me. How rude. I tried to break free, to wiggle free, and it stuck on me like idiocy on a NonGe (Non-Gnome). So I was thinking that a thousand gold for a simple water clock is just too expensive. What sort of materials went into it? It looked pretty ordinary. It did not detect as magical. It just had water and a bunch of gears and other moving parts. So what exactly does the money pay for? The sage was a NonGe, so it couldn't be for the skill and talent of the maker. Perhaps it was stolen from a Gnome? That would explain why it seems to work. So now it is a mattress. We go back and take care of it, getting back the gold we threw at it. Why is the room still spinning? There are four torches. So we returned to our explorations, unsure of where there is value, but sure that we will not be so nice to the furniture the next time around. Definitely NonGe made. Poor craftsmanship. Even wasn't able to get its own gold without Gnome intervention. What a consumate NonGe. [/QUOTE]

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