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Message: <blockquote data-quote="ReshiIRE" data-source="post: 9278503" data-attributes="member: 7031231">The thing is, having a bigot around when you are the target of bigotry is hazardous (especially if you fall into multiple categories of minority -  one type of bigotry tends to be co-morbid with other forms of bigotry).There's pretty much zero reason for me to be at a table that has transphobic people in it, because even if they treat me politely, they're still going to participate in some form of hatred against me even if it isn't personal.And well, I tell you - transphobes aren't polite about it.This is especially critically to understand since there is a significant difference between casual bigotry spawned from ignorance and active, willful bigotry. If a transphobe treats me politely but then actively campaigns for policies that oppress me... then it's going to be very difficult for me to spend emotional energy and put myself in a hazardous situation to, well, save them essentially. Someone geninuely ignorant? I might be able to do that. But it can be quite difficult, still hazardous to myself, and emotionally draining.Like, sure, allies could do that, but they should also listen to us when we say that we're not going to look at people who consistently tolerate having bigoted people around them and assume they are doing it in the hopes that the bigot becomes better. We're going to generally want to protect ourselves.And look. I live in a country where transphobia does exist and is naughty word but it is not an active thing I have to face, due to my personal circumstances and the general 'vibe' of the country; we don't have the same issues as TERF island or elsewhere. SO I am speaking from a place of privilege on this, and one where I am more privileged than my fellow trans folk. But god damn, the fear I would feel from being around a transphobe is... not one I want to experience actively.And it's great to bring up an inspiring story of a man risking his god damn life to save enough from their own hatred.... but it's one story. It's notable simply because it generally doesn't go that way.And I am no position to roll that die on reforming a bigot. And we shouldn't naughty word have to put ourselves so at risk to deal with these dangerous people.</blockquote>

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