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<blockquote data-quote="arcanaman" data-source="post: 4350044" data-attributes="member: 71819">I really want to know how you feel about the story and what I could do &nbsp;to make it better.Intro&nbsp;Rhea Fauchar walked into the Tavern the heavy rain seeping into her fur &nbsp;cloack and her red hair was soaked.As she walked in she realized the &nbsp;tavern was mostly empty. She &nbsp;found a serving wench and asked for a pint of Balladeon beer then with a &nbsp;disappointed frown headed for a cushioned chair close to fire as she &nbsp;landed in the chair she let out a comfortable sigh now how long was going &nbsp;to take them to get the beer? She looked at her journal what good &nbsp;would the stories and songs collected from countless cities do her know.&nbsp;There wasn't enough patrons to profit from them. She cleaned her flute &nbsp;hopeing the rain hadn't seeped into the pocket were it was stored she &nbsp;heard the unmistaken sound of children and despaired. Children had the &nbsp;power to spot one in her profession a mile away and they always wanted &nbsp;a story and unlike others they couldn't pay her for her time. a tall man &nbsp;roughly the same age as her was standing with them his brown hair short &nbsp;cropped in the priest style good she thought maybe the priest would &nbsp;distract them. She was dismayed as the priest lead them over towards &nbsp;her. taking a deep breath she pretend as if there coming was not a sign of &nbsp;god or one the tweleve's displeasure with her or her chosen profession. &nbsp;The priest smiled and told her he would make worth her while if she told &nbsp;these children a story. She smiled maybe this would pay off quite literally after all. &nbsp;Without flipping through her journal to look for an adequate story. She had &nbsp;been itching to use this story ever since that beggar in Niara had told it to her.&nbsp;So you've all heard the story of Saint Amanda the mad as she wandered &nbsp;the hells to save lost soul. She waited then when they nodded and &nbsp;cheered she went on. You then have probably also heard the story of &nbsp;Saint Marcus who faught a war eternal aganist the suffering of man. Again &nbsp;they nodded and cheered but have you heard of Saint Lyrea and the &nbsp;voice which made the heavens cry. they all gave her an odd look even the priest. She just &nbsp;smiled and began to tell her story</blockquote>

[QUOTE="arcanaman, post: 4350044, member: 71819"] I really want to know how you feel about the story and what I could do to make it better. [B]Intro[/B] Rhea Fauchar walked into the Tavern the heavy rain seeping into her fur cloack and her red hair was soaked.As she walked in she realized the tavern was mostly empty. She found a serving wench and asked for a pint of Balladeon beer then with a disappointed frown headed for a cushioned chair close to fire as she landed in the chair she let out a comfortable sigh now how long was going to take them to get the beer? She looked at her journal what good would the stories and songs collected from countless cities do her know. There wasn't enough patrons to profit from them. She cleaned her flute hopeing the rain hadn't seeped into the pocket were it was stored she heard the unmistaken sound of children and despaired. Children had the power to spot one in her profession a mile away and they always wanted a story and unlike others they couldn't pay her for her time. a tall man roughly the same age as her was standing with them his brown hair short cropped in the priest style good she thought maybe the priest would distract them. She was dismayed as the priest lead them over towards her. taking a deep breath she pretend as if there coming was not a sign of god or one the tweleve's displeasure with her or her chosen profession. The priest smiled and told her he would make worth her while if she told these children a story. She smiled maybe this would pay off quite literally after all. Without flipping through her journal to look for an adequate story. She had been itching to use this story ever since that beggar in Niara had told it to her. So you've all heard the story of Saint Amanda the mad as she wandered the hells to save lost soul. She waited then when they nodded and cheered she went on. You then have probably also heard the story of Saint Marcus who faught a war eternal aganist the suffering of man. Again they nodded and cheered but have you heard of Saint Lyrea and the voice which made the heavens cry. they all gave her an odd look even the priest. She just smiled and began to tell her story [/QUOTE]

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