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The Unemployed Adventures of Mervyn the Savvy Kobold Captive (complete short story)
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<blockquote data-quote="Dr Midnight" data-source="post: 4389322" data-attributes="member: 69"><p>When "Dungeon" Bob Dungeon and Alice the dwarf had killed the two kobold skirmishers, the third kobold realized he was finished. He looked left, then right, panicking. He saw no way out and raised his arms in surrender. </p><p></p><p>When Alice's blood is up, she tends to kill and then kill some more. She only saw a kobold across the way and took aim with a dagger. Dungeon Bob grabbed her wrist. "Hold on there, Alice. He's surrendered."</p><p></p><p>"Well what the 'ell's 'e good fer? Less juss killim!"</p><p></p><p>The kobold slinger smiled broadly and spoke. "Whoa, whoa. Hey. I hear you. You're mad, I was just on the enemy's side, I get that. Thing is, you need a guy who knows how this place works. You need an inside man."</p><p></p><p>Dungeon Bob and Alice exchanged a look. "And you can tell us where we can find what we seek?"</p><p></p><p>"Absolutely."</p><p></p><p>"What's in it for you?"</p><p></p><p>"Me? I need to live. That's number one. Secondly, and I think you'll agree, I sided with the wrong team. Working with the kobolds was great until you two sauntered in here and started racking heads. Now? I'm out of a job and I know it. I'm changing sides."</p><p></p><p>Alice spat between broken teeth. "I still say we killim."</p><p></p><p>"I see where you're coming from. Honestly, I do. I'm a kobold, you're in the kobold den, you don't know if you can trust me... but check this out bubbie. What are you here for?"</p><p></p><p>Dungeon Bob said "We're being paid to search this place for a dragon hide that was stolen..."</p><p></p><p>The kobold brightened. "A couple of days ago! I know the very one. I can take you to it."</p><p></p><p>"You can?"</p><p></p><p>"Yep, and I can let you know about upcoming challenges. This is good for all three of us. I see a winning horse, and I'm jumping on it."</p><p></p><p>Dungeon Bob thought for a moment. "Bind his arms." Alice shrugged and tied the kobold's arms behind his back. "What's your name?" Bob asked. </p><p></p><p>"Mervyn. My esteemed and late colleagues here were Joe and Mike." </p><p></p><p>"Pleased t'meetcher," Alice grunted.</p><p></p><p>"What's this slime pit for?" Dungeon Bob gestured to a ten by twenty foot wide pit filled with glowing greenish ooze.</p><p></p><p>"I don't even know. Seriously. It was here when we moved in. We've only been here about a month or so. I never figured out what the thing's for." Bob and Mervyn walked to a portcullis that blocked a passageway to the north. "So, um, we've got to get through here. Normally Debbie's running the portcullis lever, but I guess she ran on to warn the others that you're here." Quietly, Mervyn said "So, you two... together?"</p><p></p><p>"Me and Alice? Yeah."</p><p></p><p>The kobold nodded. "She's a lovely woman." He looked back. The dwarf was relieving herself into the slime pit.</p><p></p><p>Dungeon Bob looked slightly abashed. "Alice, must you?"</p><p></p><p>"Better out than in!" she chuckled. </p><p></p><p>"Right she is," Mervyn agreed. "Shall we move on?"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Dr Midnight, post: 4389322, member: 69"] When "Dungeon" Bob Dungeon and Alice the dwarf had killed the two kobold skirmishers, the third kobold realized he was finished. He looked left, then right, panicking. He saw no way out and raised his arms in surrender. When Alice's blood is up, she tends to kill and then kill some more. She only saw a kobold across the way and took aim with a dagger. Dungeon Bob grabbed her wrist. "Hold on there, Alice. He's surrendered." "Well what the 'ell's 'e good fer? Less juss killim!" The kobold slinger smiled broadly and spoke. "Whoa, whoa. Hey. I hear you. You're mad, I was just on the enemy's side, I get that. Thing is, you need a guy who knows how this place works. You need an inside man." Dungeon Bob and Alice exchanged a look. "And you can tell us where we can find what we seek?" "Absolutely." "What's in it for you?" "Me? I need to live. That's number one. Secondly, and I think you'll agree, I sided with the wrong team. Working with the kobolds was great until you two sauntered in here and started racking heads. Now? I'm out of a job and I know it. I'm changing sides." Alice spat between broken teeth. "I still say we killim." "I see where you're coming from. Honestly, I do. I'm a kobold, you're in the kobold den, you don't know if you can trust me... but check this out bubbie. What are you here for?" Dungeon Bob said "We're being paid to search this place for a dragon hide that was stolen..." The kobold brightened. "A couple of days ago! I know the very one. I can take you to it." "You can?" "Yep, and I can let you know about upcoming challenges. This is good for all three of us. I see a winning horse, and I'm jumping on it." Dungeon Bob thought for a moment. "Bind his arms." Alice shrugged and tied the kobold's arms behind his back. "What's your name?" Bob asked. "Mervyn. My esteemed and late colleagues here were Joe and Mike." "Pleased t'meetcher," Alice grunted. "What's this slime pit for?" Dungeon Bob gestured to a ten by twenty foot wide pit filled with glowing greenish ooze. "I don't even know. Seriously. It was here when we moved in. We've only been here about a month or so. I never figured out what the thing's for." Bob and Mervyn walked to a portcullis that blocked a passageway to the north. "So, um, we've got to get through here. Normally Debbie's running the portcullis lever, but I guess she ran on to warn the others that you're here." Quietly, Mervyn said "So, you two... together?" "Me and Alice? Yeah." The kobold nodded. "She's a lovely woman." He looked back. The dwarf was relieving herself into the slime pit. Dungeon Bob looked slightly abashed. "Alice, must you?" "Better out than in!" she chuckled. "Right she is," Mervyn agreed. "Shall we move on?" [/QUOTE]
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