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The Unemployed Adventures of Mervyn the Savvy Kobold Captive (complete short story)
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<blockquote data-quote="Dr Midnight" data-source="post: 4389631" data-attributes="member: 69"><p>"Okay," Mervyn said. "In this next room, this is where we play Skull-Skull. It's got four more..." </p><p></p><p>"What?"</p><p></p><p>"What what?"</p><p></p><p>"What is Skull-Skull?"</p><p></p><p>"Ahh. I guess you guys don't play that. It's a game we play in which piles of skulls are smashed by a rock."</p><p></p><p>Alice sneered. "That sounds like a 'orrible game." </p><p></p><p>Mervyn thought. "Yeah, I guess I never thought about it like that. Not much of a game, really. I hate Skull-Skull. I leave it to the dummies. Anyway. So the room's got another slime pit, four more sarcophagi (untrapped), and a door. At the wall with the door is a second level balcony, on which all the others will be perched, firing down at us from safety."</p><p></p><p>Dungeon Bob leaned against a wall. "Hmm... that does sound rough. I have a few ranged attacks, but Alice has only got her dagger. It'd be a slaughter." </p><p></p><p>Mervyn brightened up. "Okay, wait! Idea. Let's run this one up the flag pole and see if it flies. At the corridor leading into the room, we make like I just bashed you in the head and I run up to the door alone." Bob's eyebrows furrowed. He didn't like the sound of this. "Hear me out, hear me out. I tell them I just brained you and that Alice is escaping on foot and that they've gotta go get her, like, right now. They run out through the corridor. Alice is hiding behind that corner and she jumps out, then you stand up. You'll have trapped them all between you in a five foot wide hallway, where only one of them can reach you at a time."</p><p></p><p>Bob rubbed his Dungeony chin. "Hmmm. Like a pincer attack."</p><p></p><p>"Pincer attack, baby!"</p><p></p><p>"We'd 'ave to let 'im go," Alice said. "I don't know 'bout this."</p><p></p><p>"Yeah, that's a drawback. Think of it this way, though... you take a risk. IF it proves you can't trust me and I run in there, that's just one more kobold on the balcony than you were going to have to deal with anyway. IF my plan comes through, you'll have a dynamite way to nail these creeps, am I right?"</p><p></p><p>Dungeon Bob sighed. "You're right. I don't know if I trust him either Alice, but it's the best plan. Let's let him go."</p><p></p><p>Alice untied Mervyn's bonds. "Ahh. Thanks Alice, you're a peach. Okay, you go hide over there. Dungeon Bob? You and me babe, Over here we're going to make like a struggle's happening, then you fall over into the room so they can see you. That'll help the illusion."</p><p></p><p>Dungeon Bob grunted and fell down, playing dead. Mervyn ran shrieking to the door. "Open the door, open the door! You've gotta come quick, the other one's getting away!"</p><p></p><p>The kobolds above eyed him warily. "What happened?"</p><p></p><p>"What do you think happened Debbie, I smashed his head in, and thanks by the way for running off and leaving me alone earlier. Now go, bring the drakes, there's no time!"</p><p></p><p>The doors opened and the kobolds ran out.</p><p></p><p>TWO MINUTES LATER</p><p></p><p>Alice and Bob lay on the ground in pools of blood, surrounded by triumphant kobolds. Mervyn looked down at them. "Well, crap."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Dr Midnight, post: 4389631, member: 69"] "Okay," Mervyn said. "In this next room, this is where we play Skull-Skull. It's got four more..." "What?" "What what?" "What is Skull-Skull?" "Ahh. I guess you guys don't play that. It's a game we play in which piles of skulls are smashed by a rock." Alice sneered. "That sounds like a 'orrible game." Mervyn thought. "Yeah, I guess I never thought about it like that. Not much of a game, really. I hate Skull-Skull. I leave it to the dummies. Anyway. So the room's got another slime pit, four more sarcophagi (untrapped), and a door. At the wall with the door is a second level balcony, on which all the others will be perched, firing down at us from safety." Dungeon Bob leaned against a wall. "Hmm... that does sound rough. I have a few ranged attacks, but Alice has only got her dagger. It'd be a slaughter." Mervyn brightened up. "Okay, wait! Idea. Let's run this one up the flag pole and see if it flies. At the corridor leading into the room, we make like I just bashed you in the head and I run up to the door alone." Bob's eyebrows furrowed. He didn't like the sound of this. "Hear me out, hear me out. I tell them I just brained you and that Alice is escaping on foot and that they've gotta go get her, like, right now. They run out through the corridor. Alice is hiding behind that corner and she jumps out, then you stand up. You'll have trapped them all between you in a five foot wide hallway, where only one of them can reach you at a time." Bob rubbed his Dungeony chin. "Hmmm. Like a pincer attack." "Pincer attack, baby!" "We'd 'ave to let 'im go," Alice said. "I don't know 'bout this." "Yeah, that's a drawback. Think of it this way, though... you take a risk. IF it proves you can't trust me and I run in there, that's just one more kobold on the balcony than you were going to have to deal with anyway. IF my plan comes through, you'll have a dynamite way to nail these creeps, am I right?" Dungeon Bob sighed. "You're right. I don't know if I trust him either Alice, but it's the best plan. Let's let him go." Alice untied Mervyn's bonds. "Ahh. Thanks Alice, you're a peach. Okay, you go hide over there. Dungeon Bob? You and me babe, Over here we're going to make like a struggle's happening, then you fall over into the room so they can see you. That'll help the illusion." Dungeon Bob grunted and fell down, playing dead. Mervyn ran shrieking to the door. "Open the door, open the door! You've gotta come quick, the other one's getting away!" The kobolds above eyed him warily. "What happened?" "What do you think happened Debbie, I smashed his head in, and thanks by the way for running off and leaving me alone earlier. Now go, bring the drakes, there's no time!" The doors opened and the kobolds ran out. TWO MINUTES LATER Alice and Bob lay on the ground in pools of blood, surrounded by triumphant kobolds. Mervyn looked down at them. "Well, crap." [/QUOTE]
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The Unemployed Adventures of Mervyn the Savvy Kobold Captive (complete short story)
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