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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Goonalan" data-source="post: 1309746" data-attributes="member: 16069">THE WEDNESDAY KNIGHTSSESSION II- Part 1.Moonday 3rd Jankers 2000The Year of the DarkFarmer Palmer’s Root Cellar Ruckus.Dramatis Personae-    Felix Dwarven Deep Druid 1, drunk & daft.Endrin Human Bard 1, combing the ladies from his moustache.Xeolus Human Monk 1, bright eyed and bushy tailed.Ensconced within the snug of the Birchwhistle Inn the intrepid explorers sup and quaff and sup some more- Felix is in a drinking competition with himself and losing badly. “Come on ya baztud…”Xeolus looks on amazed at the Dwarves constitution throwing down pint after pint of “Old Scrotum”, with shots of “Knacker” (fermented from snakes venom, sugar cane and size 7 winkle-picker shoes- just add flavour to taste). Xeolus makes do with milk-squiffies and sports a froth moustache, he giggles to himself when the others are not looking.Over the other side of the bar Endrin has his arm around a stunning caravan guard called Sam Fox who is blonde, bubbly and top heavy to say the least (sexist but happily true). He is searching for her bra strap within the heavy cotton shirt, this is more like adventuring he thinks to himself.The others, well they’re elsewhere, doing other things.There are dozens of drovers and caravan guards in the bar and all is well with the world. That is until Farmer Palmer comes staggering in out of the rain. Endrin is the first to spot that something’s up when he sees Birchwhistle (the landlord) pointing directly at him, Farmer Palmer following his direction. Soon after the group sit down with Palmer somewhat away from the noise- they soon discover that although they’ve had a few, they would have to spend the whole day on the ale to approach the level of inebriation currently being experienced by the mad Farmer. Farmer Palmer tells them about the Ghosts “what ‘ave taken up residin’ in ‘is back passage- that be by way of me root cellar, young ‘uns”. Palmer continues to bring a bad name to country folk everywhere- “all this used to be fields”, and, “you townies don’t understand our country ways” etc. The conversation rattles on going nowhere the party certain that it’s just the ale talking.Endrin makes his excuses and heads to the bar trying to spot Sam Fox on the way, while ordering a drink he talks to Birchwhistle, who while confirming Palmer’s spectacular ale head reputation, also states that “he’s not a liar though.” Endrin takes note and heads back to the table.Fifteen minutes later the four stagger from the Birchwhistle, and in mud and rain make the 2.5 mile journey to the Palmer farm- a run down affair which if the front porch is to be believed grows whisky bottles. Felix sings as he saunters-“Eating trifle, eating trifle,Hello, hooray, what a nice day for-Eating trifle, eating trifle.”Until by popular demand Endrin thumps him in the chops, the Dwarf looks bemused but staggers on, the volume down.Palmer points out the entrance to the cellar and shoves the party down, his parting words- “careful it b’aint be ‘ardly ‘uman.”Adjusting to the light takes some time as Endrin’s torch flutters and flares. A slow search of the area begins- a cluttered cellar with piles of farming equipment rusting and unused and a great deal of other junk.  Xeolus shushes the party- he can hear something. With the group at different corners of the cellar (or at least three corners)- a curtain is pulled back (which a moment ago appeared to be a wall) and two crossbows fire- both miss. Vagabonds and scoundrels leap out onto the intrepid party, three in total, Endrin quickly remembers seeing their faces before. At least one of them a wanted man in Tinderbox (a small town nearby), for murder- he’s seen the poster in Captain Jarrek’s guardhouse. The fight suddenly gets serious.Xeolus goes all Jackie Chan leaping over bags of Chicken Feed and Barrels of Muesli. He kicks the pooh out of Hort (the murderer and leader of this desperate bunch), who is “Entangled” by Felix- (to the DM) “it’s a root cellar- there must be some roots- good Entangling material roots, look at trees.” Having contributed Felix then slumps to the floor to sit the rest out- still singing the trifle song. Endrin comes over all Douglas Fairbanks Jnr. and fences with a longsword soon another lies dead. This leaves one bandit left who swiftly calculates his chances and surrenders to Xeolus. The guy is securely tied up and left with Felix to play with- on Endrin & Xeolus’ return it will be apparent that he has learnt the “trifle” song, by knife point. Xeolus is sent topside to find the mad Farmer and get the authorities while Endrin mooches about. In “the room behind the secret curtain” (now available on Magic Lantern, Video & DVD) Endrin discovers a number of coffins (sans corpses), and a pile of loot. He takes the loot figuring his conscience would never forgive him if he left it to be shared out, and while the Awful Good (sounds like a good name for Diet food) Monk Xeolus is not about. An hour or so later, the grave robber (for that is what he is) is singing like a canary.“Eating trifle, eating trifle…”“No more I’ll tell you everything, make him stop.”“Hello, hooray, what a nice day for-““Kill me please, kill me.“Eating trifle, eating trifle- once more.”“Arrgghhh.”Captain Jarrek arrives and is overjoyed; he has to be prevented from going down on Xeolus there and then. There is a reward for each of the criminals the party has defeated, while the survivor is to be shipped out to Tinderbox for trial. All told they have just made over $50, more than a years wage for most.The party comes out of the encounter feted by their expanding public and without a single scratch on them- even though the crossbows were flying.Just as the clear up is in progress Bob turns up, he’d been back home at the family (turnip) farm, and had been told by Birchwhistle that the others had headed off to Farmer Palmers.He is just in time to help to carry Felix home.“I wuv you I do.”“Yes Felix.”“I do.”“That’s nice, isn’t it… ahh.” Xeolus blinks back tears.“I do, I wuv you.”“Ok, let’s get you home to the Inn.”“Can I haff a drink den?”“No, you’ve had enough.”“You’re me best pals.”Bob and Endrin take it in turns to nod, Xeolus still looks a bit blubby, he bites his lip.“See this.” Felix comes to a sudden halt, necessitating all others to suddenly halt. “This”, he shoots his arm out, pointing everywhere, “all this used to be field.”“It’s still fields.”“Yeah. But diff’rent fields.”Felix scans the horizon (as best he can) and looks sad, then looks up at Endrin.“I need a wee can you help me get my winkie out?”And so ends another adventure of the Wednesday Knights- next session Mr. Muyagi and the Monk Initiation Training Cave Hideout.</blockquote>

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