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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Goonalan" data-source="post: 1336609" data-attributes="member: 16069">The Wednesday KnightsSESSION VII.Satyrday 15th Jankers 2000Year of the DarkInto the Valley of the Kobolds- Part 5.Dramatis PersonaeXeolus Human Monk 1Liandri Elven Rogue 1Felix Dwarven Deep Druid 1 with Arse the WolfEndrin Human Bard 1Mallaria Half-Elven Barbarian 1Bob Human Ranger 1Whirlwind Human Fighter 1Around the ol’ campfire.The Knights spend a restless night holed up in the Abandoned Hideout- particularly Bob who, four hours later wakes in a cold sweat after working out Whirlwind’s Long Pig comment, “’umans!”. There are two guard posts, one at each of the cave entrances. At about 2 A.M. Felix comes to life as a couple of Kobolds approach the opening he is guarding- Arse is roused and sent into the fray, “fetch”, a few screams later and Arse returns dragging a dead Kobold, there follows sounds of frantic fleeing, “who’s a good boy.”Later still both entrances are attacked by much larger groups of Kobolds, the party can hear the sounds of orders being issued- the attack is much better co-ordinated. The first entrance is being alternatively bombarded with spears and rushed by small groups of Kobold guerrilla’s- the party leave Endrin alone guarding the second entrance with his lute.Endrin strumming quietly whispering the song-“Should I stay or should I go? If I go there will be troubleAn' if I stay it will be doubleSo come on and let me know... “A spear suddenly grows out of the centre of his chest…“I’ll be off then… FELIX.”Endrin flees- lit torches are thrown into the cave, they fail to ignite anything and soon burn out, however the cave becomes increasingly smoky and difficult to manoeuvre in. During a lull the Knights hold a rushed meeting.Liandri “If we stay here we’re dead.”Felix <Cough Cough> “What the feck do you suggest.”Mallaria “They’re fecking Kobolds, hobbits with attitude that’s all- lets rush them and kick the <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /> out of them. What’s Endrin doing, he looks like a huge cocktail sausage lying there?”Endrin “I’m dyin’, leave me be, I’ll be alright.”Felix “Either you’re dying or you’re alright- you can’t be both. Anyway there’s no dying on my shift.”Felix’s healing hands set to work and soon Endrin is back on his feet, Mallaria helps him up by the spear.Endrin “Ow. Ow. Ow. MALLARIA, are you sure we can’t remove it Felix?”THWOPEndrin falls to the ground again holding his chest and screams for a while, “we’re all doomed I tell ya, doomed.”Felix <Cough Cough> “How do you know- I can’t see anything?”Mallaria “Come on, ignore him… let’s get ‘em.”There follows a brief readying of arms and general preparation for combat. Endrin “Ow, aaaarrrgghhh, oh, eh eh eh eh, Gnnnnaaaaar. MY EYES. IT BURNSSSSSS US.”Alas Endrin’s perform role is only a “6” he eventually gets up and readies himself- everyone else is ignoring him. The Big Fight.The players come rushing out of the cave, it’s fair to say the Kobolds were not expecting this sudden counter attack; the rest of the session is spent in a dice rolling frenzy.In the initial charge Endrin once again makes a complete fool of himself, he trips and forward rolls down the scree into the midst of the Kobolds, Felix is also caught momentarily off balance. The rest of the party are forced to double speed down the slope in order to catch up with their tumbling compatriots. The fight kicks off with the entire group in close combat- there are easily a dozen Kobolds surrounding them with more joining all the time. Xeolus is quickly surrounded and is swiftly beaten unconscious (does this sound familiar to anyone), Endrin too is quickly surrounded and knocked out, grasping the dirt. However Felix comes to the rescue and in the midst of the fighting, with Bob holding the Kobolds off, Endrin and Xeolus are brought round and made well enough to defend themselves from attack.Bob and Mallaria once again are at the fore, with Mallaria going crazy ape bonkers- killing everything that comes close to her. At one point the seven adventurers are being attacked by nearly twenty Kobolds co-ordinated by a spell casting chief. The players are worried, they spur each other on with their valiant battle cries.Endrin “For Amberdale, Captain Jarrek and the Wednesday Knights. For Honour, Hope, Charity and Tumescence. For all the girls I’ve lurvved before…”Bob “GRUNT Tek that varmit.”Whirlwind “SNARL dead… dead… AAAARRRGGGHHHH… dead… dead.”Felix “For Thorin Ironpants, who died at the Gate of MooooorDoooor.”Liandri “-“, not participating.Xeolus “Spiritual Father, Hieroneous- Valour and Courage be my shield against these heathen foes allow your countenance to shine forth upon this valley. Bless my staff, and Bob’s, what’ve you got Bob- is that a Long <OW>. Take that, yes Bless his Longsword, Shield-Father and Bless Felix’s <OW> bloody, bloody <OW> <THUMP> Stop that ya bugger.”Mallaria “hahahabloodyfeckin’arsewipetreestreesinmyeyescanyouhearthevoicesinmyheadoneforthenmoneytwoforthesnowIamtheWALRUSKOO-KooAitchoosomemysayI’madreamerbutI’mnottheonlyoneibelieveinmiraclesboiledsweetsinthehandbagofloveOOBLADEEOOBLADAAmutherfecker.” The Kobolds fighting spirit cannot withstand the aural onslaught, particularly when Endrin breaks off into the Dwarven ballad made famous by Jhoni Masssif “Feelings”, a tear jerker about a romance between a young dwarf and three pound ingot of pure gold. The Kobold cohesion does not last and soon elements of the rabble are breaking off to throw spears into the mix, some of which strike their compatriots, before running away sharp-ish. Xeolus has found a new way of killing the creatures he picks one of the creatures up and dunks it in a burning bush. The party having previously thrown their torches into the sparse vegetation, igniting the bushes, so as to light the battleground. Liandri has enough sense to duck out of combat when the melee is thinning out and circle round to the Kobold chief. Once in place he delivers a mighty blow and the chief flees savagely wounded, many of the Kobolds warriors do likewise, the last half-dozen that remain are cut down with Arse chasing after those fleeing the scene. The Knights however are all bruised and bloodied and pursuit is not an option- they return to the Abandoned Bandit Hideout, which is now much clearer, and hunker down for the few hours that remain till morning. A token watch is set- Arse stands guard at one entrance, while Mallaria still hyper guards the other.Sunday 16th Jankers 2000At first light the group re-assemble only to decide to continue resting for the day- it seems they are without any form of healing (other than rest) until Felix gets his spells back. The day passes in idle pursuit; nobody leaves the cave except to whiz (meaning to pee), which they do from the main entrance to the cave- soon a competition begins, involving height, distance and style. Mallaria wins- the manner of her victory is too obscene to tell, those that were there have been sworn to silence- needless to say the scroll tube was thrown away soon after.After a fairly fitful nights sleep the group head off the next morning to Kobold Cave No.1. only to find the place abandoned- a thorough search reveals little of interest, only half-forgotten items of little or no value- the Kobolds have departed. With glad hearts the Knights head off back through the woods to Amberdale, a day into the journey Xeolus and Endrin begin to show signs of fever, to make matters worse Arse has become disorientated and is having to be carried at a much reduced pace by Felix. Xeolus and Endrin are able to continue but they are taking a long time to cover any great distance- the pace slows and an extra day is spent getting home. Fortunately encounters during this time are scarce- only a Wild Boar, which is scared of by the entire group shouting and waving at it, except for Felix who runs after it shouting “Sage & Onion”.Thawsday 20th Jankers 2000The Knights arrive back at Amberdale and immediately book Xeolus and Endrin into Brother Mendel’s care- the two have Filth Fever, a disease that comes from rat bites, Arse also suffers from the same- over the next two weeks they recover from the disease. Endrin also visits Birchwhistle the landlord of the Inn of the same name and trains, the first character to reach second level. Liandri in the meantime searches out Birinth, the wizard, and convinces the old man to teach him something of the wizardy ways. The above dungeon “The Valley of the Kobolds”, was a combination of “Shades of Yesterday” a download from Agatha Blades <a href="http://www.agathablades.com" target="_blank">www.agathablades.com</a> which just isn’t working any more, and The Kobold Cave (B3, I think “The Caves of Chaos”) from Eric Noah/ENWorld conversions page (although I don’t think it’s there anymore). Do however try <a href="http://www.d20reviews.com" target="_blank">www.d20reviews.com</a>.And so endeth the SESSION that is numbered 7.Next time Gorgoldand’s Caravan of Love.</blockquote>

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