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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Lizard" data-source="post: 345163" data-attributes="member: 1054">He's a married motorcycle racer, not a single student.He was not bitten by a radioactive spider, he gained his powers from aliens.His arch-nemesis is not Doc Ock, the Green Goblin, or the Vulture, but a woman in a dominatirx outfit who summons giant monsters.Spiderwebbing looks exactly like nylon rope.Jumping up onto a ledge looks like jumping down from a ledge, but shown in reverse.Spiderman has a giant robot he can summon.His spider-costume is stored in his web shooter.His web shooter is about the size of a bread box, and he wears it all the time, but no one ever notices.In Japan, you can get a job teaching school even if you just disembarked from a spaceship and have no records or credentials and spend your free time wearing a dominatirx outfit and unleashing giant monsters on Spiderman.If your wife is killed by a walking mushroom, you should dress up like Clint Eastwood in 'A Fistfull of Dollars' and beat up aliens with your guitar, which also doubles as a machinegun. And, you should take your eight-year old son with you when you do.</blockquote>