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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Arial Black" data-source="post: 6933754" data-attributes="member: 6799649">Unnecessary roughness?Fastball special?My very first 5E game was AL HotDQ with a table full of strangers. One guy had a paladin, fully-armoured, couple of javelins, longsword, as tooled-up as you could hope for as a freshly-made PC.So whenever it came to his turn, he would invariably ask the DM if he could do 'X', where (in my opinion) 'X' = 'stupid'.For example, he asks the DM if he can pick up a rock and throw it at the enemy. DM explains about 'improvised weapons' and 'non-proficient' and so on, and I'm thinking, "You've got javelins! Just throw your goddamn javelins! How hard can it be?"After we beat up some kobolds, he seriously (seriously mind you!) entered into a time-consuming in-game discussion with the DM about what he would have to do to tie two dead kobolds together by their ankles, and what would the weapon stats be if he used them as nunchuks."You've got a <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />ing sword! Use your sword! How hard can it be?"That PC didn't make it to level 2. He, amazingly, rolled a nat 20 to persuade the dragon that we were allies, and the dragon rolled a nat 1 when trying to ascertain if the paladin was full of <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />.The DM, in the light of this totally unexpected 1-in-400 chance of idiocy actually working, ruled that the dragon would do nothing for a couple of rounds while trying to get its head around the absurdity.Victory! He had finally do something right!I said, "Brilliant! All we need to do is march our soldiers down the hatch, and by the time the dragon figures it out then we'd be safe inside the castle. We win!"All we have to do is not do anything stupid, like, I don't know, attack the dragon or something equally suicidal.DM says its my turn. Am I attacking the dragon? No! I calmly march my soldiers toward the hatch.Next guy; are you attacking the dragon? No! He calmly marches his soldiers down the hatch.And so on, until....DM: Your turn. Are you attacking the dragon?Paladin: ...errrm....Me: Oh, God!Paladin: ...errrm....I tell the dragon that it's now my bitch and has to do what I say!Rest of us: .......DM: Roll a Persuasion check.Paladin: *doesn't get nat 20*DM: *rolls Insight for dragon, doesn't get nat 1*Dragon: What?!? You insects try to fool me!We watched, as if in a daze, the DM pick up and roll 4d6, pick them up and roll them again, pick them up and roll them again...Me: What are you doing?DM: 20d6.Me: What?DM: The dragon's breath weapon does 20d6.Me: But we only have 10 hit points each?DM: Yeah, you're not really meant to actually fight the dragon.Fortunately it was a line attack, and the only casualties were the paladin and the soldiers he was responsible for protecting.Clearest case of suicide I ever saw.</blockquote>

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